the difference the last 20lbs can make.... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

xty · 10-25-2010, 02:54 AM

Oh the difference the last 20lbs can make!!

I wasnt sure where to post this, but after some thought I realized it wasnt going from 145 to 125 that is the issue....its starting at 240 and ending up at 125...so 100lb club is the forum that made sense.

For a long time, years, I had been maintaining at what I thought would be my lowest weight ~145lbs. Maint was relatively "easy", I had a thing going on and felt pretty solid. Over the years I had worked thru most of the emotional stuff (childhood, parental, relationship, self-esteem, blah blah blah) behind the original weight gain in childhood - 20yo, etc.

Then bam, I figure out how to lose the last 20lbs in a couple months and here I am reeling from it!

A ton of the emotional issues came right back up and had to be dealt with again (ok at least I have a roadmap there, haha!).

That whole mind lagging behind the body thing happened. I mentally knew Id lost the weight and was now very tiny, but in many ways I still felt like the same ol 145lb me.

Comments - ruder than ever. I have come to think that the very fat and the very thin are the only groups of people strangers seem to find fit to speak their rudest truth to.

All sorts of strange physical things have happened, some awesome (holy defined hip bones and 6pack abs, hotness)...some not awesome (the relatively mild loose skin problems are now quite noticeable in some areas in some positions, boobs are smaller than some size A and I had to buy a belt in the kids dept, no not jrs, kids today).

I think part of it, is that I had somehow imagined that if I ever got to this point it would look a little different. I guess I presumed all size 2 people with solid muscle mass and good overall fitness would look awesome naked, have no hanging skin, and wear anything they wanted. Its still a miracle if I find boots that fit over my calves, heh.

Not sure if anyone else is currently or has previously experienced this....but just wanted to share my experience with those that seem to understand the trials and tribulations of losing 100+lbs.

Rosinante · 10-25-2010, 03:40 AM

Interesting post, thankyou!
I've still got 35lbs to go to first target, then The Last Twenty Pounds - at some point.
I've just started beginning to get started on the emotional stuff, so it was interesting to hear that that comes back again too.

Thanks for the food for thought.

Eliana · 10-25-2010, 07:37 AM

Yes, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I will never be in my 20's again.

I've been quite blessed as far as saggy skin goes. I have none. My only issue is that my still large boobs have nothing in them. It's very strange. The bra just pushes up skin, not cleavage. I'm not sure how to deal with that and just hope things tighten up as I level out.

It's a good reminder that we may not end up the way our mental dreaming places us. But we will be healthy!

I can't believe you get rude comments. People are just amazing. I have been lucky there too. I've one really strange anorexic comment, but that is all. I'm so not anorexic! I'm still overweight for Pete's sake!

LiannaKole · 10-25-2010, 07:44 AM

I've never had to lose 100 lbs, but I did want to lose very close to 90. Now I'm down to about 41 lbs left to lose.

This is a great post. I haven't come across a lot of threads that discuss what it's like to be very thin after being not very thin. It's something I hope I can achieve after having been obese for a good portion of my life.

I'm sorry to hear the comments are still very rude, though never having been that small I'm not positive what they might be. I'm not sure what makes people think it's okay to do that kind of stuff.

I'm glad to hear that overall it's going well, though. It's good to hear from someone who has "made it."

xty · 10-25-2010, 06:04 PM

Thanks for the support everyone

The comments vary in rudeness - someone actually said I look too thin and looked healthier heavier (maybe I looked healthier to her, but I was not!).

I think the interesting thing about being 125lbs after having been so big for so long...is that I feel like I have a secret. I see people sneering at me and my healthy food and I just want to shout at them that I used to be literally double my size and to stop judging me, I worked damn hard for this body. Lol.

Eliana · 10-25-2010, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xty

I just want to shout at them that I used to be literally double my size and to stop judging me, I worked damn hard for this body. Lol.

Yes! I get this now! I get this from people who DID know me at my highest. They're constantly checking out my food, often with disgust? What is that about?

krampus · 10-25-2010, 09:25 PM

Haters gonna hate. You are carrying around a fabulous secret and they're probably jealous.

I think people are generally way harsher on thin folks than fat folks. It's taboo to comment on someone's weight problem if he or she is big, but just look at all the gossip trash magazines pointing out that so-and-so celeb is ANOREXIC, and the recent trend of glorifying the soft curvy body (Christina Hendricks) over the low body fat athletic/lean body.

Eliana · 10-26-2010, 07:58 AM

Is it just me? I admire thin folks. The thinner they are the more I want to be like them, until they cross over to skeletal of course. But I would be nothing but complimentary of someone who had done so well.

xty · 10-26-2010, 01:52 PM

Eliana - I have been thinking quite a lot about this being rude to thin people business.

Im starting to believe that some people subconsciously feel judged by others who do things they themselves wish they were doing.

ex: Im eating well, they dont eat well but know they should. They sneer at me not because *I* am judging them, but really because they are projecting their judgment of themselves upon an easier to hate externality, me.

I think there are also those people who dont know me and think Im naturally thin, just dont get hungry, easily pick at salads and walk around in size 2 clothes. I remember sneering slightly at those people and feeling a little entitled to do so....oops.

Had another run-in with the super rude lady (really she is very nice, just about this recent weight loss she looks and talks to me like I have cancer or something), before a single word came out of her mouth, the gaping jaw and look of terror coupled with a shaking dead was more than enough, I cut her off and said that if she made one more comment about my weight she was going to seriously hurt my feelings. And by "hurt my feelings", I really meant make me snap into a tirade that put her right in her place. lol

Eliana · 10-26-2010, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xty

Eliana - I have been thinking quite a lot about this being rude to thin people business.

Im starting to believe that some people subconsciously feel judged by others who do things they themselves wish they were doing.

ex: Im eating well, they dont eat well but know they should. They sneer at me not because *I* am judging them, but really because they are projecting their judgment of themselves upon an easier to hate externality, me.

I think there are also those people who dont know me and think Im naturally thin, just dont get hungry, easily pick at salads and walk around in size 2 clothes. I remember sneering slightly at those people and feeling a little entitled to do so....oops.

Had another run-in with the super rude lady (really she is very nice, just about this recent weight loss she looks and talks to me like I have cancer or something), before a single word came out of her mouth, the gaping jaw and look of terror coupled with a shaking dead was more than enough, I cut her off and said that if she made one more comment about my weight she was going to seriously hurt my feelings. And by "hurt my feelings", I really meant make me snap into a tirade that put her right in her place. lol

Good for you! Hopefully that will a put an end it!

For those of us have been obese and to those who "knew us when", I think maybe they have a notion that we're being greedy. It's like to them we've been handed this gift of thinness and we aren't happy with it. We're greedy and want an even better model. It's never good enough for us. That's the impression I get.

What they don't get, of course, is that we weren't given a gift...we worked darn hard for this and we EARNED it. If you want to buy a car, you want to buy the biggest, fastest most popular model and for that you're going to work really hard.

I wonder why weight loss is looked at as a "gift" instead of as something earned.

LiannaKole · 10-26-2010, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eliana

I wonder why weight loss is looked at as a "gift" instead of as something earned.

Awesome question, and one that drives me a little nuts. Luckily those closest to me and most supportive of me compliment me on how good I look but also on all the hard work I've done.

I think in general people are used to weight loss being something that has to be purchased in the form of a pill, a program, a magic drink or food, an exercise machine, etc. And then one has to be "lucky" enough for it to work. The concept of working hard with exercise, eating right, and steeling oneself mentally is not common or popular.

It's an easier, self-justifying way to look at weight loss sometimes.

Of course, some people are naturally thin no matter what. Just not many.

Avezy44 · 10-26-2010, 08:11 PM

its funny... k mean u still have a good 29 pounds to my goal of 140 but people are always saying nice things to me and guys hit on me when i go out... oddly enough... it pisses me off.. like i wanted to lose weight for that reason but when i lost weight and got what i wanted.. i resent people for it?? It just sucks that i had to work this hard for a simple you look pretty.... geeezzzz... ohh the other annoying thing is people automatically assume i am not eating or on jenny craig. lol

xty · 10-26-2010, 08:24 PM

Eliana - wow that is a great observation!

I never thought of it on those terms, but it rings true to me now that you said it.

I do get the sense from many people that knew me for a long time at just 20-30lbs heavier (not 100+ heavier) that Im "nuts" and that I was "fine" and "looked better" before. And yes, it actually does seem like they think Im being a little...greedy...or...ostentatious or something.

And of course there is the other side, many many people who do or dont know my full history see that Im happier and healthier and think whatever Im willing to do to feel that way is up to me and not their business