I went to the park yesterday on a sort of field trip with some of my kids. We played soccer, just two on two, so I was running up and down that field HARD and frequently! It was so much fun! But I dreaded it! I was anxious about it the entire day before. I did not want to go at all. It was hot and we had planned lots of sports type activities. I just knew I'd be hot and sweaty and miserable and out of breath. I knew I'd jiggle and it would be embarrassing to show myself that way to colleagues.
But none of that is true anymore! I AM fit! I CAN run! 90 degree weather is only a minor inconvenience now. I'd prefer air conditioning, but 90 degrees is tolerable, even in the sun! I can run up and down the soccer field AND enjoy it too! And I don't jiggle, and if I do, well no one needs to be looking that close.
I have found this dread keeps cropping up. It's STILL holding me back! I'm dreading this weekend because I have a lot of outdoor cub scout activities to do with the boys and I'm just not looking forward to the amount of work it's going to be. But when it's all over, I know I'll have a great time.
I want to stop dreading life!! When does that mind set change?!
Oh Eliana, I am just the same!
Whenever hubby wants us to go out Geocaching or for a long walk I dread it and the sweating, panting, aching etc that I know is to come.
But this summer has been so different. When I've actually got started I've thoroughly enjoyed it and have usually been the one in the lead, pushing myself so I know I get a good workout in, and looking back to smile with satisfaction and joy at my hubby and daughter. Twelve months ago I was always the one at the back, panting and sweating and aching, and wanting to cry.....
But like you I still dread it. I think for me it's the fact that I've spent so long finding these things hard and it's the unknown, not knowing what to expect from the walk, the terrain, distance etc, whereas in the gym I know if I get to a point where I've had enough I can walk away.
Maybe by next summer we'll be used to being able to do all these things with ease, and finally be able to look forward to them?
It takes time- I used to always dread going out for my walk at lunch, to work out in the evenings, etc. Now I love it and can't wait- I keep remembering that these walks and workouts make me feel GOOD- anytime I felt dread I say to myself "hey remember last time was great, what are you worried about?"
Part of it is that it just takes time. Our minds actually work pretty hard to maintain a continuous self-image of one being from birth to death, so major changes are mentally hard to adapt to because it causes some actual redefinition and integration of that redefinition into the broader image of self.
Doing some active mental work can help. As can some tricks
- studies show that dressing the part helps psych your brain up for being what you want. just as dressing in a suit and heels would change in subtle ways how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you, dressing in workout gear that you like, feels like your style, and fits very well changes how you perceive yourself too.
- do some mental and emotional work to think about what defines you. not how others define you, but yourself. being fat my entire life, i had a large part of my identity wrapped up in the fat girl thing. embrace the parts of yourself that you feel define you in new ways that emphasize your transition into the new body. for example, i always defined myself as a lover of water...now i can actually do things in the water and feel comfortable with how i look. was able to just pivot my self-image a little to help embrace the new me.
- be compassionate with yourself. it is so hard for me sometimes. but the negative self talk can be stopped! its a habit in part. and a bit of a compulsive thing too...i utilized some tricks people taught me about letting go in the moment of the compulsive negative self talk.
- studies show that dressing the part helps psych your brain up for being what you want. just as dressing in a suit and heels would change in subtle ways how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you, dressing in workout gear that you like, feels like your style, and fits very well changes how you perceive yourself too.
Your whole post was so true, but this in particular makes a lot of sense to me! I should have worn shorts and maybe even a sports bra! LOL! Yes, to work. There's just something about workout clothes. I can't seem to workout without them. It really is a matter of stepping into the alter ego...like Spiderman would never fight crime out of uniform.
I feel silly - I thought it was just me! While by no means slim yet, I'm considerably lighter than my HW, considerably lighter than just 4 months ago.
I'm proud of it. I know it's beginning to show. I know I'm beginning to look 'normal' to strangers. I know I'm buying clothes that are 'me' not just 'thank goodness Something fits' - but
When I gave myself the MHD day off life on Wednesday, at night I should have been going into the city to join a people's choir ~ I love singing, I'm looking to make new friends ~ but I just couldn't, couldn't, couldn't. It wasn't so much a jiggle-fear but it was more - I'll be normal, they'll relate to me like I'm normal, there'll be no mental adjustment they have to make and treat me as a special case cos I's fat - it's Too vulnerable, too flying without a safety net.
The Dread was immense.
I get one more chance next week, and then the membership list is closed until January. I'll psych it up.....
Rosinante you should go! Just tell yourself that it will be scary, but that the scary part wont last very long. The amazing parts - getting to sing in a choir and better yet conquering your fear will last so much longer
As a singer Im sure you know a thing or two about breath control, so but that to work. On the drive there and on the walk in, the entire time make sure to take even measure breaths and it will so help the stress reaction be a little more under control.
If you can, maybe get a supportive friend to go with you? If not, imagine all of 3fc cheering for you and supporting you
When do we stop dreading things?
But I dreaded it! I was anxious about it the entire day before. I did not want to go at all. It was hot and we had planned lots of sports type activities. I just knew I'd be hot and sweaty and miserable and out of breath. I knew I'd jiggle and it would be embarrassing to show myself that way to colleagues.
There's just something about workout clothes. I can't seem to workout without them. It really is a matter of stepping into the alter ego...like Spiderman would never fight crime out of uniform. 
