Had an idea for a song and thought I'd throw it out to a wider audience to get a few more ideas than I could come up with on my own. I'm thinking along the lines of semi-erotic "I kissed a girl and I liked it" kind of thing. But anything is good - funny stuff and weird stuff.
I would pee on a tree, bush, or tire just to see why it's a big deal. Belch loudly because I'd get eye rolls instead of disgust. I'd play helicopter with "it" and flip it in circles. I'd finally know how it feels to be interested in anything with a pulse.
I'd be as brave and outspoken as I wish, without worrying about what people would think of me because women shouldn't give their opinions so freely but it seems to be OK for men. And I wouldn't worry about whether or not my shirt was too tight across my chest.
Spit, pick my nose, scratch, fart, holler for more beer and nachos so I don't miss a play, strut, pose, flex, not worry if my pants made my butt look big, only think about 2 things, sex and food!
I'd take my supervisor at work aside in a conference room, brag about all I've accomplished, tell her I planned to support a wife & children on my salary, and demand an enormous raise, which I believe would be granted. Then I'd apply for another higher-paying job in my company.
I would also become fixated on stereos & electronic components, buy a newer car, and grunt a lot more in the gym while working out.
I would throw out all my makeup & hair care products & never spend a dime on a scented candle ever again.
I'd make a point to make as many references to my package as possible in conversation. You know, the usual, suck my ______, get off my ______, b*7w me, etc. I've always been envious of the sarcastic, vulgar but rather entertaining things men can say about their privates and how they can work it into every situation. Lol, I know, I'm weird.
If you were a man for a day . . .
