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Old 08-07-2010, 12:49 PM   #1  
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Default Was that a compliment?

I saw one of my DH's coworker's today and I waved and he paused and looked at me confused and then said "OH I didn't even recognize you! You're fading away!"

Ugh...fading away? Really? People are so weird with their compliments. I know I don't look THAT thin, give me a break. And last week I saw an old friend I hadn't seen in a while and she said I was wasting away...yuck! It's weird how the compliments change as you go along. Typically I get you look great or whatever, it's only been recently that I've been getting these...I wonder if I need to reevaluate those last 5 lbs...
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:01 PM   #2  
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I'd say that yes, it's a compliment. He was maybe afraid of saying something that would sound like "Hey! You used to be fat!"

Last edited by tea2; 08-07-2010 at 01:02 PM.
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:05 PM   #3  
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Anyone telling me I am getting smaller, fading away, anything I take as a compliment! hehe
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:10 PM   #4  
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A lot of people don't know how to word it correctly...so they say the first thing that comes to mind. Don't worry about it...just smile and nod your head and think to yourself "yes, I am...and I look fabulous!!!"
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:28 PM   #5  
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I agree, he probably just worded it oddly. You have lost a LOT of weight. Someone once told me I was "wasting away" when I was a still plenty pudgy 178lbs; but I had lost over 60lbs so to him, I guess that made sense, lol. Enjoy those comments, weird as they might sound!
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:42 PM   #6  
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My old running buddy, who moved away a couple years ago, is back in town and we went for a run this morning. She said, "You're so skinny. Almost too-skinny skinny!" And I said, "Thank you! I think..."

Then she asked lots of questions about how I've done it... so I must not look that bad!
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:48 PM   #7  
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I think people may be surprised and not know what to say without being insulting... so they try. lol
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:50 PM   #8  
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It's a compliment.
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Old 08-07-2010, 05:02 PM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laureedee View Post
I agree, he probably just worded it oddly. Enjoy those comments, weird as they might sound!
I don't think he worded it oddly at all. It's a common expression, though perhaps a regional one. "Wasting away" and/or "fading away", are very common expressions, at least here in the midwest where I've lived (in central IL and WI). It's meant as an exageration, but a compliment, nonetheless.

My husband and I use it all the time ("fading away" is the regionally preferred in the places and generations in which hubby and I grew up. However, we do encounter "wasting away" occasionally). "Wasting away," is slightly less complimentary, mostly coming from the older generation. We're in our 40's, and usually have encountered "wasting away" from people much older than ourselves (probably because they grew up in a time where "wasting away" was a legitimate concern).

Last edited by kaplods; 08-07-2010 at 05:06 PM.
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Old 08-07-2010, 06:24 PM   #10  
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I think some people have a hard time finding the right words to compliment someone. I find this is especially true for men. My husband told me I was looking really skinny. I said "no dear, I don't want to be skinny, I want to be healthy" Now when he compliments me he says "my you are looking really healthy today". The way he says it cracks me up every time LOL. I would say that "fading away" is a compliment, but in an awkward way
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Old 08-07-2010, 10:31 PM   #11  
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Not to beat the proverbial dead horse, since I already made the point, but I don't think it's an awkward expression at all - it's jut a regionally distinct one.

It will seem strange or awkward only in regions in which the expression isn't common - but that occurs whenever dialects clash.

In college, I once asked a room mate (because she was looking angry or upset) "what's with the sour puss?" Again a common phrase used where I grew up, which meant "You look angry/upset, what's wrong?"

My roommate looked shocked and horrified, and thought I was swearing at her or making an obscene comment, because she only time she had ever heard the word puss was within the word kitty (the censor replaced the word I wrote with kitty. The word I obvioussly meant, was the word puss with a y at the end), meaning female genitalia. She thought I was calling her a very bad name.


We don't all speak the same English. Not only is American english distinct from the english of Canada, Australia and the UK - even within each of those countries there are regional differences. Yes the situation can be awkward, but I don't consider the word choice awkward (inappropriate in any way). It's just a possible consequence when speaking with someone from a different region or a different generation with different idioms.

Last edited by kaplods; 08-07-2010 at 10:33 PM.
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Old 08-07-2010, 11:18 PM   #12  
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He may have been worried about how you could have perceived a compliment such as "You look great!" Especially if he doesn't know you well. It's likely that he wanted to give you a compliment without making you feel uncomfortable or crossing any boundaries.
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Old 08-08-2010, 01:08 AM   #13  
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As kaplods said, it's probably just the
normal thing for them to say.
My fiancé came from NYC and they
never use the word "pop" to mean "soda".
But for me, coming from Ohio, "pop" is
the completely normal thing to say.


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Old 08-09-2010, 01:25 AM   #14  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jemappellesierra View Post


As kaplods said, it's probably just the
normal thing for them to say.
My fiancé came from NYC and they
never use the word "pop" to mean "soda".
But for me, coming from Ohio, "pop" is
the completely normal thing to say.


LOL...and here in Georgia a pop is when a firecracker explodes or when you hit someone on the rear end. The sugary carbonated stuff you drink on ice is called coke here, regardless of brand!!! LOL
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Old 08-15-2010, 04:26 PM   #15  
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?
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