[carol2208]

I´m usually a very positive person, my nickname at my old job was Pollyana. But this week I just can´t seem to get out of my funk...

Despite all my efforts, keeping within my calories range, exercising and paying attention that my calories are nutricious, I have been loosing a lot slower than I used to, and now, to top it off, I weigh in this morning and I´m up 4.5lbs!!! WTF??? I´m hoping the scale is broken, there is just no way....

I miss my family terribly, they live an ocean away, it´s been 5 months since I last saw them, they are going through a rough patch and I really wanted to be present for them, in flesh and blood. But there is no way right now, I have to wait until August.

I can´t seem to find a way to believe my boyfriend really loves me, like he says. I moved for him, and I keep waiting for a big gesture, expecting that he´ll do something that proves his love, but it never comes. We talk, and talk and talk about it, but I just can´t find a way to trust him, and I know that although he contributes to that, I have a lot of blame in it too. I have my issues. But he, well, he does things sometimes I just can´t understand, like keeping a photo of his ex on his wallet, writing and talking with his female friends in a friendly way and never mentioning me, keeping me away from his family life... and well last night, I was playing with the computer and I found the pictures he has of his exs, and the last one has the most perfect body, tall, thin... and that killed me. What also killed me was that he took a lot of pictures of her, and with her, while with me, it´s always me asking to take pictures of us... and well, he moved for her. Last night, as I was looking at the pictures, I think something inside of me died a little, and I saw further away the possibility that we might actually work...

I don´t know, I´m just so confused... thank God for beach volleyball tonight, hopefully I´ll sweat my way out of my funk!!

[PeanutsMom704]

sorry you have having a tough time. Not sure what to say about the boyfriend, other than if you have concerns about trust, I've found there is usually a reason (I am sorry to say that but it's just been the case when I've seen friends go through it).

As for you weight, I don't know how long ago you last weigh in, so what the time frame is for that 4.5 lbs but if you have been staying on plan, chances are that it's TOM related or the result of even one bad meal (too much salt, etc) and not a real gain. Just make sure to drink lots and lots of water and try to enjoy your volleyball game!

[Michelle98272]

Just to let you know, depending on where I am in my "cycle", whether or not I've eaten something with significat sodium, whether or not I've poo'd that day... I can be up as much as 8 lbs, out of the blue even if I am 100% on plan.

If you are on plan and your weight has gone up, it's not likely true true "weight" gain as in fat but fluid, waste, undigested food...what have you. There are people who can gain mass fat out of the blue that have a true metabolic disorder but for the majority of us, it is simple science. You eat right, exercise, take care of yourself the overall trend of the scale will be a downward motion. There will be daily ups and downs but overall....you will lose weight.

As far as the boyfriend stuff...I'm 42 and have had my share of heartache, been married twice and have had a variety of relationships of the dating kind over the years, and I have learned only 1 thing in 30 years of relationships...no other person is going to be able to fill that void in your heart...no major pronouncement or demonstration is going to fix you. You have to love yourself enough to believe that you are wonderful just as you as are and worthy of being treated decently. Boundaries are good things.

Hang in there sweetie!!

[toomuchmoxie]

Uggh, I understand about the boyfriend thing. I like the talking and talking too - but it never really helped, in fact it kind of rode things into the ground.
It would bother me TREMENDOUSLY if any of my beaus had kept other women's pix in their wallet, or anywhere really accessible. The fact that he keeps it there despite your feelings? That sucks.
Please just take care of yourself.

[MablesGirl]

I agree about the weight. It will come back off, it's just a fluctuation. Don't weight for a couple days, see what happens.

I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend. You moved across the ocean for your guy, and now you are wanting him to show the same degree of commitment. Totally understandable, I would feel the same way. But do you know what you are looking for? Does he know what you are wanting? By the way, the pics of ex girlfriends would bother me too if I felt that they were recent or held a lot of significance. That probably isn't what I'm trying to say. For instance, I'm 37 and we've been together 12 years. I still have pictures of high school boyfriends and a fiance from when I was 21. But they are in boxes at my parents house. I would not want to throw them away, because they help tell my life story. But if there something he looks at frequently, and why he does it, then it's a different reason.

[carol2208]

Hi girls,
Thank you so much for your replies ! Volleyball definately helped as well, and I´m feeling better today!

I´m waiting until saturday to weigh in again and see what happens, in any case I´m making some changes... I´m adding 40 mins of jogging to my soccer and volleyball work outs, trying to eat less sodium, less carbs and more protein, hopefully that will help jump start my weight loss again!

As far as the boyfriend, I´m trying not to be my anxious self. And after a light and sarcastic comment on my part yesterday he took the pic of the ex off of his wallet. I´m still sckeptical about us, but definately not ready to give up yet.

Have an awesome day ladies! You rock!

[JustBeckyV]

Sorry to hear things arent going well.

I think you will know when it's time to throw in the towel and that is a great step with him throwing out the old pics.

Good luck!