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Old 04-07-2010, 07:26 PM   #6
Shmead
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,294

S/C/G: HW:300 Pregnancy: 160/167/185

Height: 5'5"

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My husband stays the **** out of it: he listens silently when I want to obsess, virtually never offers advice, and only ever compliments me on what I've done, not how I've changed.

He rarely, rarely reassures me if I am feeling insecure: we both are wary of setting up that sort of dynamic (where I look to him to make me feel better about myself). Once or twice he's said something nice, but never in response to me asking for reassurance.

He never gives me "permission" to cheat when I want someone to, but he also never says anything if I veer off my plan--it's totally up to me. He never complains about sacrifices I ask him to make to make staying on my plan easier (i.e., we go out to eat at places I can find something to eat, my exercise schedule determines many things).

For me, my husband is perfect, but I think a lot of people would consider him under-involved. Me, I need the room because I tend to get clingy if someone allows me to be. You need to talk to your SO and figure out what she needs, and repeat that conversation over time--because what she needs may not be what she thinks she needs, at first, and it may change with time. So you have to continue having these conversations over time.
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