I am SO close to hitting the 100 pounds lost mark and only about 35-ish pounds away from my initial goal weight of 140. I'm so proud of myself for everything I've done so far and I love the feeling I get every morning when I wake up and know that I am one day closer to my goal!
So why do I keep making stupid food choices?
I haven't had a FULL month of on plan days since the end of December. And it's driving me insane! I will get back on plan for about a week, then SOMETHING will come up...an invite to dinner at a friends' house, a surprise mini-vacay, something that will de-rail all the progress I've made and I will eat off plan and my all or nothing attitude will kick in and say 'well i might as well eat everything in sight for the rest of the day and get it out of my system so I can start back tomorrow.' But then tomorrow comes and I wake up feeling down and dissapointed in myself and end up going a WEEK off plan, not exercising and just eating whatever. It's been like this on and off since xmas and I just can't seem to get my groove back.
I was going on two weeks on plan when hubby surprised me with a little get away in Boise where we would be staying at a nice hotel and etc etc. Well instead of being happy i was so NERVOUS about eating on plan and I wanted to pack EVERYthing I would be eating but then realized I wouldn't have a refrigerator and just got discouraged and ended up just going out to eat for the day and a half. I didn't make HORRIBLE choices....we ate at baja fresh and the pita pit, fairly healthier than going to mcdonald's but still not as healthy as I was eating. And we went to Ihop the next morning which was the only really bad thing I ate. I still got discouraged and hadn't exercised for those 2 days. Yesterday, I packed all the food I would need to take with me to work for my 10 hour shift and ate great all day until I got home and hubby sprung a dinner invite on me. We went to our friends' house and had grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, champagne and ICECREAM. ARGH!
This morning, I had oatmeal and bummed around the house arguing with myself about when I was going to get BACK on plan and stop sabotaging myself. I finally MADE myself do my weight training and I felt a little better. I've packed my food for work, which i have to go to soon, and am just going to try to FORCE it today because I can't keep going for week long binges. I've already gained a bit of weight back ( I was at 170 but during one of my week binges I went up to 180.5 then during the past week I got back down to 173 and I weighed myself this am and surprisingly i'm at 172.2)
I am SO CLOSE to reaching my goals and EVERY time I keep doing something to mess it up! I guess I just needed to vent but thanks for reading! Anyone wanna kick me in the butt? Anyone wanna go all Drill Sergeant on me? I need SOMETHING to get me back on track!
You have done an amazing job! And you are such in inspiration! Don't get down on yourself! Everyone has days like that, in my opinion. But you look great and I can't wait to get to where you are now!
If you don't mind me asking, how did you lose so much weight? I recently put on a lot of weight after my baby was born... she's 7 months old now. And I want to get back down to where I was before.
For every 5 lbs lost
____________________________________
Mini Goal 1: 199 - 6lbs to go
Mini Goal 2: 185 - 20lbs to go - Memorial Day Challenge
Mini Goal 3: 175 - 30lbs to go
Mini Goal 4: 160 - 45lbs to go
Unrealistic Goal?? 155 - 60lbs to go
You've got to make healthy eating a priority again, that's all.
Life happens, things come up, what did you do before when you were on plan? It's easy to lose weight when you get to control everything, but a lot of the time (as you can see) you don't get to control everything; your environment, what other people serve you, etc. That's when you need to make healthy eating a priority.
So you went to your friend's house and ate that grilled chicken, etc., meal. You could have stayed on plan - right? You could have just had some grilled chicken, the green beans and maybe a glass of champagne. But you are allowing yourself to get caught up in the moment, to be swayed by food that's in front of you, or food that you didn't plan for so you end up making a bad choice.
I think this is just a lesson to let you know that hey, life happens. And when you get to your goal weight, life is still going to happen! Friends will still have dinners, your husband will still continue to surprise you with trips away, etc.
Take this as an opportunity not to feel terrible about yourself but to learn HOW to plan for these events because you are right, they DO keep happening and they always will.
Be kind to yourself right now. Say "hey universe, thanks for presenting this lesson to me" and try to learn from it, develop a new way of thinking about it, develop a new plan, grow and change. That's what it's all about right!?
Stop considering meals out as an excuse to go off plan. You could have made a meal of grilled chicken and green beans and been 100% on plan. No one forced you to eat the mashed potatoes, champagne and ice cream. That was a CHOICE! Make better choices.
Ok, hopefully that was drill sargeant enough. But really, I think the fact that you are coming up to that 100 lb mark is coming into play here. That is an amazing accomplishment, but it's also a scary one. It's a reminder of how far you've come (and you've done GREAT) but it's a reminder of where you were and the fear that you could get back there too. And yes, you could, which is why you have to commit and re-commit and re-commit again, every day. You know it's not easy, you didn't wiggle your nose and wish away 90 lbs! So dig in there and find that strength that you have already PROVEN you've got.
This kind of challenge is what you will face the rest of your life.
You need to know how to go out to eat and NOT eat off plan. For example, maybe champagne, and maybe ice cream, but not both! As another example, even at IHOP you can get two eggs scrambled with bacon and toast, hold the hashbrowns, and not do as much damage. In fact, no matter where you go, you can choose better foods, and/or eat only part of what you're served. It's all a matter of knowing your trade-offs and being willing to make them!
The trouble is, people still consider "going out to eat" some kind of special occasion where rules don't apply. However, they then go out to eat every day! So it's a constant food bonanza. I know this from experience.
What you have to do as a "recovering obese person" is learn that going out to eat is just another meal, and the rules always apply. Always. Your body doesn't care whose birthday it is, what vacation you're on, etc. It just takes whatever you eat and does what it's supposed to with it.
I think it might help you to declare a moratorium on eating out for the next week, no matter what, just to get back on your stride again. However, you'll still have to learn ways to deal with it. You can't pack your food for your entire life--you need strategies.
I am in a similar position when it comes to life interferences... Travelling does a number on my diet, and I am doing well if I just MAINTAIN on a vacation, nevermind losing!
That's life... Just do the best you can and pick back up the very next meal. Make health and weightloss your top priority again, and don't focus on all the past problems. You always have a choice, sometimes the choices are less superior than others, but it is your choice to make.
It seems to me there are two problems - one is that you go off plan when you don't prepare your own food, and there are many people more experienced at weight loss than me who can and have given advice on that.
But the second problem from my perspective is what happens once you've gone off plan. You are so hard on yourself that it makes it harder to get back on! There's no way you're going to stay on plan from now for the rest of your life, every single meal of every single day - its just impossible. Of course its a great goal, I'm not saying that you shouldn't try, but if you give yourself permission not to be perfect you might avoid the one off plan day stretching into two days, or three days, or a week...
You are all right, I need to not let these surprises be an excuse to go all out and eat whatever. I can still make healthier choices, it's always my choice what I eat. I needed to hear that.
brittanie-Thank you for your kind words. Send me a pm and I can answer your questions.
Jay-I like the 'recovering obese person' title. It really is what's going on. I'm trying every day to re learn how to eat to support my healthy lifestyle.
I do need to work on not being so hard on myself, because no one is perfect. I need to be able to FORGIVE myself and move forward instead of wallowing in pity. Thank you all for your advice. It was a nice wake up call for me.
There's a pretty decent chance that the number itself is freaking you out! There's probably something that it represents to you that you are self-sabatoging to avoid. I know that I often plateau near big numbers, and it sounds like this is one of them for you.
Another thing that's important to do is to introduce some grey into the way you consider your diet. It's not only "Off Plan" and "On Plan", there's also "slipped a bit, but got it back" and "practising for maintaining" and all sorts of other ways to think of not quite perfect days. I like "practising for maintaining" myself, as it seems sensible to have some idea of how much I can eat when I'm at goal. I generally "practise maintaining" for at least one day every weekend.
Oh I actually came on tonight to write a post very similar to this one my self (and I still might....stay tuned LOL)
Because I seem to be fighting very similar demons, I have no words of wisdom for you, but I have appreciated reading the words others have written to you.
I just wanted to chime in to let you know that you are not alone in these feelings! Thank you for writing these words so that I know I am not the only one. If you want someone to commiserate with, send me a PM
I agree with Couch's theory that the number may be freaking you out and so you could be self-sabatoging. I am certainly no expert, but I can tell you I have that issue. I am getting close to crossing a threshold where I will be the lightest I have been in the last 20 years. It scares me and so I have not lost weight since late November/early December. I have not gained it either. I think I needed to get things sorted out and get used to the weight I have lost so far in order to move forward. I am moving forward now and intend to keep going. While none of this may ring true for you, it has been the case for me. You have come so far and worked so hard to get here. Now, take a deep breath, rededicate yourself and move forward!
I'm in a very similar position in that I haven't been able to stay completely on plan since the end of December. I've managed to make good choices overall but it hasn't been enough to break me much past 250, where I've been since that point.
I think I woke myself up by going on a hardcore diet a few weeks ago. It didn't work, but when I went off it I felt more "normal" and have managed to start losing again. Crazy how that works.
But yeah, you can't treat eating out as a special occasion that entitles you to go off plan . . . I know that's been something I've been guilty of. And lately I've been craving McDonald's cookies, to the point where I have a hard time even driving past one! And with them all over the city, it makes me wanna hide out in the house where I don't have anything to tempt me.
That's my weakness really . . . it's easy to grab poor snacks and eat off-plan while I'm out, especially if I'm caught hungry. I have no problem at home since I don't buy junk grocery-wise. But if I plan ahead when I go out, check out menus, and make sure I'm not starving (which will get me every time) I usually do pretty well.
I'm sure you'll get through this ok. I'm just starting to myself, I think. You posting this is a great sign that you're not ready to give up! Good luck to you and take care.
Last edited by Elladorine; 03-30-2010 at 12:53 AM.
Awe, you guys are doing great. And the advice is so awesome!
I think you've been at this for so long that it's starting to feel more like life than a diet, which is not a bad thing! But now it's time to start living life the way it will be lived in maintenance.
I have nothing to add but support. Fabulous, fabulous job!
What I have been trying to really learn and put into practice is that there will always be family celebrations, vacations, weddings, birthday parties, nights out with friends, office parties, benefits, holidays, etc. If we use these as exceptions - it would be easy to overate at all of them.
I know...easier said than done.
Sometimes - going 'crazy' at an event or travel can spin into overeating the rest of the day. The "I've already blown it" attitude.
It's good to make a travel plan ahead of time - like you've done. It might be helpful to allow a couple extra hundred calories on your vacation, IF you think it would be helpful. My experience is allowing a little bit more helps me from getting fed up and abandonning my plan all together.
If you do eat off your plan - HOP RIGHT BACK ON the next meal.
Thanks everybody. All of you have such great advice and are very supportive! Thank you. I'll have to do some soul searching to see if i may be scared of reaching 100lbs lost....subconsciousness can be silly some times.
I have GOT to stop doing this....
Step away from the buffet! 
You posting this is a great sign that you're not ready to give up! Good luck to you and take care.
