Reaching out ~ need a listeing ear
I need you all tonight ~ people who understand ~ because my dh (d tonight does not stand for dear or darling) here does not and it has been a most discouraging and frustrating evening. Feeling like I want to scream or cry.
We got on the topic of health and weight loss tonight ~ we usually stay away from that topic, because he does not undersatnd me and it is frustrating for both of us. We got on that topic though because we were talking about my foot pain. I know that the extra weight does not help that, but he would like to blame every ailment I have on my weight. I feel like if my eyelashes fell out, he would say it was because I am too fat. (Sorry for the bitter attitude here.)
Here is the background. He has been bugging me about my weight since we were dating ~ we have been married for 26 years. He used to try to tell me how to fix the weight problem, but over time has given up on that. I weigh about 100 # more now than when we began. Weight was not a problem for him until he hit the 40's. Then he gained about 50#. A couple years ago we went for our anual physicals ~ his dr put him on a 1,000 cal diet and told him to exercise, he also had to start taking medicine for high blood pressure. He lost the weight, and has maintained the loss for a couple years now, and doesn't have to take the medicine anymore.
He feels that I should just do like he did and that would fix everything. He thinks that exercise doesn't have a whole lot to do with weight loss. He doesn't recognize the difference in a mans metabolism and a womans. When I try to explain to him about eating to deal with stress or depression or what ever, he totally can not relate to that. That really hurts that he won't even try to understand.
He has even suggested a few times lately that I should consider that stomach stapling operation like that weather guy (Al Roker) on tv had.
Just very frustrating. I just wanted to sleep tonight and not think about all that. I felt encouraged by one thing ~ I did not turn to food tonight. Sometimes lately, I have been able to talk myself out of doing the wrong thing ~ telling myself that eating the wrong thing will not help me. So, maybe I am slowly starting to "get it". I hope I can keep doing this more of the time.
Sorry that this was so long ~ Thank you all for listening.
Take care ~ glynne (Gayle)