I think we always judge ourselves much harsher than other people do. The way you looked at that women is probably the same way she sees you. We are our own worst critic. It's taken me awhile to realize that, but I'm sure of it. Especially now when I look at pictures of me at 180 lbs, I looked good in my size 10/12 pants. Heck, I looked great. But I clearly remember thinking how big my thighs were, how jiggly my belly was, & how my arms looked terrible in tank tops and how I wouldn't even wear a bathing suit. Now, at 220 lbs, I wish I could beat some sense into my old self just so I could have enjoyed my body for once in my life, you know?
As for others perception of you, re: "fat ole cow" I wish I had some insight. In my opinion, there shouldn't be anytime that anyone should be called that. Or any name for that matter. It's hurtful and shallow. And if it did hurt your feelings, sometimes the best thing we can do is speak up. Now that I'm a little older, I'm a firm believer in telling someone when my feelings are hurt and I say it just like that "hey, that really hurt my feelings". And if that person doesn't respect how you feel, perhaps it's not someone who's perception you should be worried about to begin with?
I've rambled but I hope this helps. I also hope it makes sense