I,
I am so ashamed of myself but I have to write this down because I think when I stop hiding from the facts it maybe might help?
I had a lap-band 4 months ago. For the first month I have lost around 15 pounds and than just stopped in a minute. I dont know what happened but it was some kind of click or fear in my head and I have stopped.
Now i regained most of the weight back and on the 25th I have to visit my suregion for check-up. I am sure he will kill me :-) but that is not my key problem. My problem is that I didnt do anything and all that time and money was spent for nothing!
And the second thing is - if surgery did not help me, what the **** could?
I must say that I can eat freaking everything in any amount I like. I dont see any fu..king effect.
Did anyone had such a problem? Did I stretch my stomach?
Ok, I do admit I am kind of nervous because I ended the bad relationship and removed melanoma and that was such a stress for me. The man was and still is emotional bully but I am still in love with him deep in my heart (i know).
With the holidays and all of that I dont see what should I eat and how. I know everything in theory but in practice no I dont. I feel like ****. My mother got retired early a few days ago and now she is making pressure to me to have children (like Virgin Mary I guess) and all around me people having some kind of problems and would like me to participate in them and listen...End nobody would like to listen to me? I think I sholu dump them all.
Back to the topic - did you ever heard of anyone eating as a pig WITH A LAP BAND? Did I stretch my stomach? Is that dangerous?
It is very normal to be able to eat anything in any amounts if your restriction is off. Do you know what size band you have? this is very very important to know because if you have a 10 cc band and you only have 2 cc's in it.. then there is your answer. Even if you have a 4 cc band, just because you have 2 cc's doesn't mean you have enough restriction. Don't forget it can take many visits (fills) before you hit your sweet spot. And never compare yourself to anyone else because we all react different with the band.
Did your doctor give you any guidelines as what to eat? proteins first, veggies second and last carbs? You might want to call your nutritionist and talk to her/him too. With the band you should only lose 1-2 lbs a week so remember its a slow healthy process.
What most folks don't realize is the band is only a tool, just like gastric bypass and other weight loss surgery. All these tools will help you only so far..the rest has to come from eating healthy and exercise. If your going to eat crap.... well, your not going to lose weight, we still have to be careful what we put in our bodies.
I'm so glad your going back to your doctor, please don't be so hard on yourself, the band is a great tool, you just have to learn how to work it and be patient.
Let us know what your doc says.. we're rootin for yah.
Last edited by Leenie; 01-01-2010 at 07:37 PM.
Reason: can't spell oy vey
Leeine, thank you so much...I did cried my eyes tonight and not really sure about what anymore - I think everything!
The band is 11 ml big but now I have only 2 ml and my doctor is filling it up to 6 ml only. Its a new procedure in my country so I think he just would like to take it slow. I do understand him because his is afraid of complications but I think this is far to slow!
After I have wrote here I have realized that I am mentally and emotionally abused by a man and I always thought about myself as a person that is not a "victim type". Now I see I am. Its hard to admit that but after this post I have realized I have to change a lots of things not just my eating.
I did eat a lot of crap and I did compare myself to others. And you know, all the ladies that I have spoke to in the doctors office were shocked by me and telling me that day could not eat anything solid for months or even some of them drinking water at the beginning. And I felt bad about myself thinking that maybe the band fell down or something. Only one girl was honest and told me that at the beginning she did not feel anything really. And all other were full of crap, and I believed them.
So that is additional reason that I would like to thank you for your post. Its nice and kind and tx so much I was really needing it.
I am not sure about my doctor anymore, maybe I should wait the 25th, maybe I will get a grip until than. But in fact I would like a filling as soon as possible so maybe I should call him.
Here, doctors are not so friendly as in USA so I am kind of afraid a little bit because he will probably yell at me for gaining weight and I dont really like that negative approach. I would much more appreciate the positive one...I am not sure what I will do...have to think about it a little...
And I think I will go to my mothers home for lunch tomorrow /i have promised to come/ for the last time. She will have to accept that I will not come if she is going to feed me and sabotage me in that way!
Hiya Nomena. I don't have a lap band so i have no idea about your questions there. However, with your emotional and family issues... I definitely hear you there. I have a similar situation and really, I have to just take it a step at a time. One conversation at a time, etc, with the people who bring me down. I try not to let them affect me anymore, but it does. Not as much as it used to - I have tried to busy myself with other things like reading and watching tv shows more often.
I went on Celexa (an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med) and it did help... but it makes me sleep too much. I am hoping to switch to another med this week, because it really did help with my emotional issues from dealing with difficult family and such. I bring it up because it might be worth looking into. However, keep in mind that SSRIs like Celexa can and do cause weight gain or stalling usually. There are other types of meds that don't.
Good luck and hang in there, you're dealing with a lot right now. Just treat yourself like you would treat a friend. Take it easy!
Nomena when I awoke from surgery I wanted a cheese burger, no lie... When I was 6 weeks out of surgery I could eat an entire hero sandwich, thats HUGE !!! I told my doctor and he said so? you have no restriction. I was shocked because like you, I was comparing myself to others and thats when I started to do damage with myself emotionally.
I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with that guy... but I'm happy you realize something must be done. Taking care of yourself mentally and physically MUST come first.. please remember that. You are worth it.
I'm sorry your mom sabotages your eating.. my mom does the same thing. When you go to her house, walk in with a bottle of water and maybe some gum... If you feel the urge to eat or if you feel pressured, chew the gum or drink the water. I'm telling you its the only thing that saves me from my Mom lol. The minute anyone walks in her house she has a fork up to their face. The more you resist at her house the stronger you'll become... trust me on this one LOL Its OK to say NO !!!! it really is.
So what I'm hearing, your plan is to:
Continue getting fills
Eat healthier
Don't compare yourself w/anyone else
Exercise (I threw that one in there for yah lol)
Deal with this person who is making you feel less of a person
Take control over "Mom" and her sabotaging by saying NO thank you.
Wheeeeew thats a lot my dear... Just remember, take it one step and one day at a time... and slow IS good !!!
I hope you'll continue to post here and meet the other weight loss surgery chickies... they are wonderful and so supportive.
Nomena, bring a side dish to Mom's house- a nicely loaded salad with lots of veggies, or a 0-point soup- then you can take a little tiny serving of her meal without derailing yourself, and hopefully she'll just see the side dish as a nice gesture to her as a hostess. win-win? I hope? LOL. The water bottle and gum are great advice as well, so you aren't wooed in by the cooking smells.
Hej Girls, tx a lot for the encouragement! I feel better tonight and last night I was so depressed and just crying! And after this post and coming honest to myself and your words I am feeling better, thank you so much!
First of all Leenie I like you chicken :-) and the smiles at the bottom of your posts. Are they slapping each other? It reminded me of my brother and me as we were kids but we loved each other with the bottom of our hearts...thank you...
You did resumed the chores correctly and you did it in such a manner that I, as an organized person, could identify to them :-)) Girl, you got them right!
First, I do live alone in my own flat and that is good news! I broke up with the guy a few months ago but he emotionally abuses me from time to time. I realized that last night and I am a people pleasure (or I was) so I will have to change my attitude to him! He does not deserve my kindness...
Also, Naked (what a nick, LOL) that is a great idea - to bring some food with me. I think that can do. Also, water and the gums too.
My Mum is a "feeder" and she also attacks anyone who comes in that house with the fork. I had one friend that visited last time with me and she was delighted with my Mom because she was feeding her the whole day with something! I know that is nice for one afternoon but what do you think how did I got this big? :-)))
I went to my parents house today and eat a lot but I did tell my parents that is the last time and that in future I will not be able to eat like that because doctor will fill me in and I could die :-) if they will feed me. Ok I lied but that is the only way to stop my mom. I think that will work.
And there was one interesting moment- I said - now, he will fill me in, and now I have to lose weight. And my mom said - but you already have lost the weight and dont have to any more. And I am around 220 pounds!!! In that moment I have realized that she is afraid that I will get thin and the whole my life she could pick on my that I am fat. But, to make a long story short - I know that is not my problem and she will have to deal with it. I have decided that I wont to take care of me and my life and have kids until I can ! I am 35,5 years and not married. And my goal is to be married, thin and a mother of a child (2 would be great) on my 40-th birthday. And with every post that I put here I am surer of it!
Leenie, I will go to the swimming pool tomorrow so you did throw in good :-)
What are your goals for the New Year? Whats up with you...don’t let me talking! LOL
And one more thing - I have to be honest about my weight. I went to operation with 240 pounds, I lost and gain back, and now I am at 227 pounds.
At the check up after 3 months (4 post op) I will have 5 pounds MORE and I should have at least 15-20 pounds less. I think you can get the picture what is wrong here :-)
I had to write this down because my brain is fooling me and sometimes I count more or less pounds that I have and I am note sure how much I really loose and gained back and so on. So I have to put it here - it releases my spirit.
The problem is also that I count in KG not pounds, so all this transfer is harder to me. I think I will start putting KG and you can just multiply by 2.1 :-)
I have noticed that I prefer old fashion scale with the pointer to digital one. I think I will change with my mother for the scale. I am more visual type and digital number does not ring a bell and the pointer does! I like seeing it going down and not up :-))
I'm really glad you had a talk with your Mom.. good for you. People that visit my mom think its funny when she shovels food in their face (except my husband, he gets offended lol) but I find it horrible. Then I have to remember that my Mom grew up with out food, starving actually, so offering food to others gives her the greatest pleasure and satisfaction. So I have to step back and just remember that when I see her I need to control my own actions and not worry about others. She's a good Mom and I love her dearly.
Anyway.... I'm glad you have a plan for the new year and you've included exercise.
My goals for this year is more exercise... I am a slug. I work a full time job, come home, cook, clean, help my daughter do home work, showers, etc... so I need to learn how to put some exercise into my day. I am going to try for lunch time...weather permitting. Also I would like to lose a good 60 lbs so wrapping my head around some healthy eating is going to be a challenge. One day at a time..
You can talk KG... we understand
I gotta scoot... DD needs breakfast.
Oh.... I may not post every day due to work but I'll check in when I can.
wow!!! how did i miss all this excitement???? nomena - Leenie's the BEST, isn't she??
i'd just like to add a couple more thoughts - first of all, you KNOW that, no matter what you do, your doc isn't going to be happy with your weight loss, but he'll be THRILLED if you tell him what's been happening in your life, and that you've developed a plan to get through this.
the older i get - and the more post-ops i talk with and the longer i live with my bypass - the more i realize that it's the emotional issues that get in our way. They're complicated, and hard, and deeply ingrained in our lives. Unless we start dealing with them differently [without food!] and in healthier ways, we won't be able to change our relationship with food.
sooooo, go see your doc, HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH, and hand him a list with the challenges you've faced, and what you've done or planning to do with them.
and at the top of the list will be your mom [and the gum/water/side dish solution] and then that old boyfriend [and decide what you're going to try with him]
there's something about old boyfriends - one of mine recently raised his ugly head after nearly 30 years!!!!!! and i STILL don't want to have anything to do with him!!!
I do agree about our mums - they are great mums! And I let that go and we agree on it so I think will manage somehow. I will not go there hungry :-) and I will go AFTER lunch time so I will have to teach them that I did not come to eat but to see them! :-)
I did decide to incorporate at least one hour a day walking or other activity. I did swim today and I felt energized after it. Also, I do walk to work, almost half an hour in one direction so that is the way I incorporated that in my schedule. Maybe you should do something similar? Or park your car on the half of the way and than walk! Its a good start, I also started like that!!! And look me now!
The physical activity was not a problem to me ever and I think that is the only reason why I am still healthy. I concerned some of the local hills also and I like walking. I grew up at suburbs so I think that is the reason why I don’t drag of walking and activity as most people from the capital city do!
@jiffy, my doc will not be happy because I will ruin his statistic about the study he is making :-) but I dont care anymore. He would not have understand my problems because he is another kind of man and he would tell that I am look excuse but I will take a grip until 25th so I hope I will be at least 2 pounds less than the last time. You know - just to show even the smallest effort! In a meantime I operated melanoma so I will play on that card
I have decided to go South Beach from tomorrow so I think that will have great effect in short time (not healthy I know) just to jump start.
Also I am still comparing myself and as Lee said I have to stop that because it emotionally ruins me!
Lee, I see that you are moderator, but I did not find how much did you loose in a meantime? If you would like do please keep up with my post ))) I would be delighted of course!
For the first time I have decided that I will loose ONLY 10 percent of my weight in this year and If I manage that - I would be so happy. I always had "bigger" goals and did not loose even 10 percent. So...my goal is 93 kg from 103 that I have now.
I lost 65 lbs but then put back on 30 lbs. I have to learn to forgive myself, and I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. My band is terrific... I just need to train my brain now and get back on track
I do understand you, I also need to forgive myself. I will start from the day after tomorrow, its a holiday and I will have time to shop for the healthy food and try to keep up
Lee, how much filing do you have now?
I think that if you did loose it once you can do it again..
Lap band and gaining
hang in there !!!
