So I never, ever get hit on by men. Ever. No glances, no smiles, no how you doin's.
I was thinking it wouldn't hurt my self-esteem now that I'm looking better if I got noticed once in a while. Big mistake.
Well, I'm at the grocery store today and putting my stuff in the back of my car when this majorly scuzzy guy comes up to me and starts rambling about his martial arts classes - seriously incoherent. I didn't think anything of it because I guess I have a face that says, "Oh come all ye weirdos and tell me your life story!" This guy has loooong red stringy hair and random parts of it are shoved up under a cowboy hat that's dirty and falling apart and he's got tattoos all over his fingers, neck, and arms and his t-shirt is covered in stains and holes. He tells me he's a street fighter and has been in jail.
So I'm trying hard to get away, but I don't want to make him mad as he's clearly a little unstable. And he suddenly says while looking me up and down, "I really like big girls. What are you, 195?" With what I can only imagine is a look of utter horror
, I screamed "OH MY GOD!" and jumped in my car and burned rubber.
I swear, I needed a shower after that. Jeez, I MUST remember to be more specific when I wish for things in the future!!!!! I'm finally not thinking of myself as a "big girl" and yet I guess to sleazy, dirty ex-cons in the Ralph's parking lot I still am.