Today I sent my brother and his wife each a letter in the mail. I talk to my brother for a few hours every year or two... he's out of state and the scenario generally goes that I find out from my older sister in passing that he is coming to visit in a few days and will be staying at her house... so I go to her house for dinner one of the days he is visiting, chit chat some, and do it again the next year or so. I literally never talk to him otherwise. I stopped sending messages and emails because he would never respond to them.
Over two years ago I used to be almost best friends with his (then new) wife. But when they came to visit one time there was a huge falling out between our whole family and his wife. Long story. Anyways, it obviously affected my already poor relationship with my brother. I haven't seen her in the 2+ years since then (he's come to visit twice without her) and I finally just started speaking to her again briefly online a few months ago.
So I sent them both a letter today... to him to explain that I need a better relationship with him and need him to make an effort and to her to kinda gloss over the fact that I have moved on and hope we can slowly build a relationship again...
And it feels great... like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is really the least of my family issues but it is the first step for me in trying to let go of the past and some of the issues that made me eat so much and gain so much weight. Maybe I'll consider writing more letters to other family members if this goes over well...
Phew huh? Sometimes it's just better to get things over and done with EVEN THOUGH it's hard in that moment... no matter WHAT the outcome you have dealt with it and that feels good!!!
In offering the olive branch to your brother and SIL I think you've done the right thing. Family issues can often escalate out of all proportion if someone isn't willing to take the first step towards reconciliation. Well done.
It did feel good to get it off my chest. Regardless, I was feeling slightly uneasy about it when I was lying in bed last night, wondering if I should have sent them the letters. BUT I reminded myself of a quote from Albert Einstein, "Insanity---Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results." If one of us didn't take a step to break the cycle then there's no chance it was going to fix itself. I felt even better when I woke up this morning and was down on the scale! It's like it was telling me I did the right thing.
Weight off my shoulders...
