So I am 50 years old and have been dating a new guy long enough to have the sexual history discussion...
Me: It's been quite some time since I was sexually active.
Him: How long?
Me (blushing): 18 years.
Him: (after picking up jaw from floor). How can that be? You're so attractive. I mean, you could lose a few pounds, but have you SEEN you? You're really sexy.
Me: Um, thanks. Just a tip, if you're trying to talk a woman into getting naked with you, mentioning that she's fat in any way not the best strategy...
Him does an excellent job of saving himself here but wants to know why.
Me: I was 52 pounds heavier than I am now, not many dates and no confidence on my part to go looking (sidenote - it was easier confessing to 18 years of celibacy than it was 20 years of being fat)
Now here's the perspective part. When I was age 30 and 170 lbs, I did not have the body confidence I have now and would have been devasted by even hint that BF did not find my body perfect. Now I'm truly laughing at how suprised this guy is going to be when he does get to see the goodies. I am rock solid under that soft layer. DCHound's comment about lurking 6 pack rings very true and bootie is powerful!
I don't know if it's being 50 or just the endorphins I get from all the exercise but I'm loving my own reaction to a comment that would have crushed me 20 years ago.
Awesome! Yeah I have a total rock-solid six-pack under the flab. And the flab is extremely defined so even an untrained eye could even see I have a six-pack. Dern flab. It needs to go, and take any potential extra skin with it. Seriously, if I had liposuction today, when the swelling went down I could step up and do fitness modelling immediately.
Lady at work was cleaning out her closet and offered me over 100 really nice outfits that were too small for her. Nice, nice stuff, some with tags still on it. But I turned her down. She couldn't understand it. Reason, most of it was 1X/2X. I did NOT spend all this time at the gym to hide in baggy clothes. She told me she always liked her clothes to be loose, they're more comfortable that way. I have worked way too hard to care about comfort. I want to look good! I gave away all my 20s/22s/24s/26s/28s/30s and 32s, I do not want anyone else's, no matter how nice. (I'm keeping the 18s on the off-chance I might get knocked up some day, LOL.)
Lady at work was cleaning out her closet and offered me over 100 really nice outfits that were too small for her. Nice, nice stuff, some with tags still on it. But I turned her down. She couldn't understand it. Reason, most of it was 1X/2X. I did NOT spend all this time at the gym to hide in baggy clothes. She told me she always liked her clothes to be loose, they're more comfortable that way. I have worked way too hard to care about comfort. I want to look good! I gave away all my 20s/22s/24s/26s/28s/30s and 32s, I do not want anyone else's, no matter how nice. (I'm keeping the 18s on the off-chance I might get knocked up some day, LOL.)
Yes! The clothing thing is part of the same perspective phenomenon. On the way up, I was hiding in my clothes when I hit size 18. That's my current size and I'm wearing form fitting clothes and walking with a bit of a strut. Amazing...
Yes! The clothing thing is part of the same perspective phenomenon. On the way up, I was hiding in my clothes when I hit size 18. That's my current size and I'm wearing form fitting clothes and walking with a bit of a strut. Amazing...
LOL, that is so true. A given size feels SO much different on the way down, with a healthy and improving lifestyle, than it does on the way up with bad health and bad feelings.
LOL, that is so true. A given size feels SO much different on the way down, with a healthy and improving lifestyle, than it does on the way up with bad health and bad feelings.
I was this size in high school, my freshman year... and GOD I hated my body! I wore nothing but jeans, t-shirts, with huge hoodies over it.... now I'm alllllll about the form fitting clothes and showin off mah junk! hehe
That's nice that you were able to talk to him about this... I kinda worry about having that conversation when I start dating again... I'm 26 and was only ever with one person several years ago. So I feel you on the awkwardness of the convo.
Oh and DC, I hear you on the baggy clothes. I was just telling my DH the exact same thing yesterday. Funny how we change. I used to HATE anything that was clingy or form fitted...now that is all I buy! If it's too big it gets packed away!
For me, it was never really my weight but my own feelings about myself even though I was 300 lbs or more from the age of 14. I dated guys, not a lot but a decent number and what held me back from having successful relationships was my own feelings about myself. I actually would dump guys quicker than anything if I thought they wanted to get close to me. It took me many years to work out some of my own issues about myself and to actually let someone become emotionally and physically close to me and it didn't involve any weight loss.
LOL, that is so true. A given size feels SO much different on the way down, with a healthy and improving lifestyle, than it does on the way up with bad health and bad feelings.
Ain't that the truth. I'm one hot mama of a size 18. Although, I think I REALLY need to start lifting, since I wouldn't say I have a six pack, LOL.
Ok, I know it is tacky to broadcast one's sex life on the internet, but frankly after 18 years it's more discrete than what I feel like doing (telling co-workers, friends, strangers on the street...)
A matter of perspective
