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Old 05-19-2005, 09:14 AM   #1
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Arrow 300+ and ready to try again #718

WELCOME !!!

We are a group of individuals who weigh or have weighed 300+, or near there. This group was formed to provide a place for others like us to find support and hope. We are aware of the distinct problems that come with weighing over 300 lbs.

We want to invite everyone to join us in our journey.
We share laughter and tears.
We share what works for us and what doesn't.
We often use a "Topic of the Day" for discussion.

Motivational Monday
Tuesday Tips
Wednesday Wish List .. and What you are doing to obtain it.
Thankful Thursday
FUN Friday ... don't wait until you lose your weight.
Sit-up Saturdays - any physical activity
Share your Success Sunday

These are not required topics ...just ideas to share. We often find them very helpful. We also share heartaches and fears ... joys and celebrations.

We have several extra threads going on simutaneously such as Monthly Challenges, Weekly Weigh-ins, Recipes, Bios, and more. Please feel free to check them all out.

We have a bi-weekly 2x2 Challenge.
Our goal is to lose 2 lbs in 2 weeks.
We have a long term goal of losing 300+ lbs within our 300+ group in 2005.

We have found this thread to be more than just a support group...
we have found it to become a home. We invite you to join us.
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Old 05-19-2005, 09:35 AM   #2
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Tasha, I feel so sad that you are going through this. I know how you feel really I do. I have felt so helpless for so long. I have seen my weight climb over the past 20 years from perfectly healthy body to 505 at one point. I am down to 480 now and I have such a different outlook. Your little saying on your signiture says it all. If we don't care for our bodies, where will we live. It is a good thing that you see it isn't about food for you. It isn't about food for me either. It is about control and filling my body with something that my heart was missing. I just want to tell you that we are all here for you. I couldn't afford ww either so I went on line and have been doing a program on line for free. I will give you the address because they are not selling anything. It is free. Maybe you could give it a chance. You never know. It may help. It sure is helping me! The address is: settingcaptivesfree.com At that website go under The Lord's Table. I hope if you try it it will help you as much as it is helping me.

Welcome to all the New people. I know you will like it here. Everyone is so kind and supportive and we all know what each other goes through out in the world.

Julee, congrats on your weight loss. That is so wonderful. Keep on plugging away.

To everyone else. Have a wonderful day. We can do this. Lets keep our heads held high and our bodies moving.

Blessings,
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Old 05-19-2005, 10:13 AM   #3
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Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman!

Happy Thurday!

Tashabella: I can't even express how horrified I was that you've been treated that way! I have to admit, I hear some of you ladies stories and I'm just shocked. I have not really experienced the outright rudeness that some of you talk about.

In fact, I've had the opposite in large part, Dr's who don't even acknowledge the problem. The only time my Dr. has said anything about my weight is if I bring it up. Once he sent me to his nurse practitioner who put me counting calories and fat grams. But I got tired of paying copays and quit going after 40 lbs. I kept it off for a year then gained 80...he never said a word. This last time, when I suddenly jumped 14 lbs from where I had been stranded for a couple years, he agreed with me I should "consider" losing weight. No "you have to lose weight or your going to die" speeches. No "your weight is causing these problems". I suppose I shouldn't be surprised when he never even told me to quit smoking! I made that decision myself when he finally told me that I only had a sinus infection because I smoked...

When I ended up in the hospital for my BP and had a cardiologist for a year - HE never told me to lose weight. When I asked him if I should, he actually said "Shouldn't we all?" That's what you get for going to a fat cardiologist I guess. The man definately outweighed me!

In fact, the only person health care person who has mentioned my weight was the nurse practitioner at my OBGYN. (Can you tell I like different doctors for different "parts".) She brought to my attention that I'd gained over 100 lbs in the 6 years I'd been going there and remarked that she wasn't going to be seeing me much longer if I didn't lose some weight.

Could be that being an attorney makes people afraid I'll sue them if they are too rude? Maybe I'm just too thick-skinned to notice when someone's rude to me...

I'm very glad you've decided not to put up with that bull from anyone, Dr. or not! Personally, I would've told that last guy to kiss my big round butt and walked out - (assuming you weren't there for something serious.)

I really hope this new Dr. is good for you. I assume you're going there specifically for your weight loss? I can't imagine someone not being willing to help you. That is what they're there for! Perhaps they just need to be reminded of that! Please remember we are here to lend an ear!

Julee: Good for you! Congrats on the loss!

Catherine: "It never hurts a teenager to think their mom is just a tad "unwell," and might go postal." I don't think my kid would buy it...but it's a great idea!

Mertz: Welcome! We have so many new people these days! We're glad to have you here!

Well, on to the day! Much to do and less time to do it! Have a happy, healthy OP day!
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Old 05-19-2005, 10:22 AM   #4
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Default Barbg wrote:

Barbg posted this this morning on the last thread and I didn't want it to get missed.

Tashabella: You have found the best support group you could ever hope to find right here at 3FC. It is like every other group anywhere. You get out of it what you put in it. We have some people who just drop in every now and then when they think they probally should get back on track, but there are many of us who have been around for years and check in everyday. I admitt that other things going on in my life have kept me away more than normal, but I still try to check in and read everyday, even if I don't have anything to say. After you have been around for a while, you will learn which ones you seem to bond with and who seem to bond with you, and it's really a great feeling. If you feel like you need more personal interaction you can always PM someone in the group. STick with us and I think you will see that you can get the results you work for, you can certianly get the support.

All that said, I have to admit I forgot to journal my day yesterday in the computer program I've started to us. I really did forget!!! So I'm off to enter yesterdays food and thought this morning, so maybe I won;t forget tonight.

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Old 05-19-2005, 12:27 PM   #5
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Default On the brink!

Hello All, Every morning this week I have gingerly stepped on the scale...holding my breath with anticipation..would today be the day? VIRGIN FAT!!! No cigar . It is just sitting there right on the brink. AHHH ME!

How is everyone else doing?

Tashabelle, I had a wonderful family Dr. for years now, and when he quit practicing last year I thought I was ruined. Luckily the person that took over his practice is a very nice lady Dr. We haven't discussed my weight yet. It is so important to have a Dr. that understands our problems. I hope you can find one that will help you.

Lillion, How is the garden growing? A few posts, or a lot of posts ago I think you mentioned having your patio redone and the 7 thousand dollar estimate? WOW! Is that wood or what? We have a flagstone type patio and some of the stones are broken on the edge. I HAD been thinking about getting it redone until I read that and I said gulp! Do I really want to do that? Actually, I don't think flagstones is the right thing either, They are red, but not brick. Anybody have a name for those things? If I have given the wong person the patio, sorry! There are so many posting now that I can get confused!

By the way, before this week is over that scale is going to move into virgin fat territory, darn it! See Ya later, Iwillbe
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Old 05-19-2005, 01:04 PM   #6
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Hello ya'll, and thanks for the welcome! I'm so excited to find a group of people to "talk" with. I used to come to 3fatchicks several years ago, but it's been a long time....and I still haven't done anything positive about my weight. But I'm serious this time! Ready to be a "loser"! ha.

This site is so big it's a little overwhelming at first. I'm still reading and trying to find my way around. I hope to get to know you all in the days ahead.

Happiness,
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Old 05-19-2005, 01:39 PM   #7
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Iwillbe: Yep, that was me. The red, not-bricks on your patio are likely pavers. That's what I want on mine, only more like cobblestones...anyway, we have a big patio, 28 ft square and what we wanted was the existing concrete covered with pavers and a really little 12" or less high wall running the lenght of it and a 10 x 4 raised bed, also about 12" high. $7000. Not gonna happen anytime soon. Shouldn't be that hard to replace a few broken ones though, especially if they aren't mortared in. Many paver patios are loose-layed on sand.

The garden is growing, except for the spinich, which was drowned by a leak in the gutter directly above the planting area, and the cantalope, which I've now been told it's way too early to plant. I'm sooo looking forward to veggies!
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Old 05-19-2005, 01:56 PM   #8
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Greetings everyone. I have been reading here everyday but haven't posted in a while. Giant,fat free, sugar free cudos to all you super hard workers. I'm soooooo happy for you all. Even those having tough times, you still come back. Thats a super move for your peace of mind. It means to me that you haven't given up. That speaks volumes to the support felt here from every one, new and old. Thank you every one.

This last Monday was my WI and I was up almost a pound. After the first second of disapointment, I realized I was more puzzled than upset. I have worked consciencely at changing what I eat. So I began back tracking to see why I was up when I was sure I should have been down. I had been working for about 3 to 4 weeks on changing what I eat before I weighed in for the first time. I'm sure I had lost the water and the first pounds before I had a starting point. So when I WI and had lost 9 pouds in a week it was actully fat and not much water. I had been working on shrinking my stomach before I started WIs. After I saw the 9 lbs. off, I cut back unconsciesely on what was already 1/2 or less calories than my normal (waayy too many) intake. I decided that I had a gain because my poor body finally went into shock and put a hold on the fat for later since I was starving. It was weird for me because in the past I would have beat myself up and given up. But instead, I problem solved for myself, add some calories back to my plan and started trying to walk a little bit. I still feel succsessful. I know that I'll have a good suprise next Monday at my WI.
Sabatage: hhmmm, isn't that a common thread for us all. What I've learned in my experiance is that with my loving family, I taught them to love me with food. Treats, super meals,filling a craving, this is how mom will be happy. And it never failed. "AAHHH how sweet of you to think of me while you were at the mall" " wow, how'd you know I wanted THAT for dinner?" I can't tell you how many times I've just said outloud, " boy I want a candy bar" and DH (who tips at 160 lbs) would just disappear and show up with 3 or 4 differnt candy bars because I hadn't said what kind of candy I wanted. I know it was what I taught him would make me smile. Now that I have changed the rules on him, its hard for him to know how to make me smile when I'm frustraited. As I'm learning new things that can make me react positive I have to teach him too. I know its not done to ruin my hard work, just trying to find a good way to support me.
Other sabatours have been friends. They know what I like is usually the same things they like so lets be bad together. In the past, that was fine with me. Thats how I thought for them too. Now I've changed the rules on them too. Now Its my job to help them know the new things I like so we can stay connected. Just changing the things we eat changes the dynamics of the relationships we made while we were being mean to ourselves. Now part of us is differnt and we have to figure out how to include those people that are inportant to us with out making them feel we're better/superior to them. I personally know people that lost large amounts of weight and became preachers of THE MISSION to reform all fat people. I tend to cross the street to avoid those lectures. And I try sooo hard not to be one either.
Well, I've ranted on long enough, I hope I made some sence here. Feed back is gladly welcome.

Have a super strong day. Thanks for hearing my jabber.
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Old 05-19-2005, 02:58 PM   #9
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Hi everyone!

Sorry about my absence there for a couple of threads - may I ask why you restart a new one each time it gets to three pages? I think it's a bit confusing myself.. :-/

The last couple days have been great eating wise, and okay exercise-wise. I went to the gym one day in a really bad mood, exercised for 30 mins on the elliptical and did my strength-training routine. Then packed it up and left with a swiftness!! Some days I just don't want to be stuck looking at the slender gym bunnies, ya know?

Right now I am half-dressed to go to the gym. I am going to do 40 on the elliptical today if the gym is slow, and then another 30 on the recumbent bike.

I have a gastroenterologist appointment in 4 hours that I'm really nervous about.. I find out what the cause of my heightened liver enzymes are today.. Eek!

Have a wonderful day peoples!
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Old 05-19-2005, 03:41 PM   #10
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Me again with a question.
What do the eggs at the bottom of our posts represent???
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Old 05-19-2005, 03:58 PM   #11
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Mertz: If the first egg has a yolk - it means you are on line. The second with the ! is what you would click if you wanted to report a "bad post". I guess that means one you find offensive for some reason. I've never clicked it myself.
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Old 05-19-2005, 04:36 PM   #12
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Default Thanks!

Thanks, Lilion. You folks seem so nice I bet I won't be clicking the ! either.
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Old 05-19-2005, 04:55 PM   #13
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HI all,

Welcome in to the new people who have joined us since last time I posted - gee, I go missing in action for a week or so and heaps of people have joined!

I have been missing in action for a few reasons - the first is just how hugely busy I am with looking after the 4 kids with no backup, and lecturing, studying to get an additional teaching qualification, and doing contract work too. I just don't have a life outside work and kids much anymore.
The other reason was that I had been getting more and more depressed. Please don't take this as a criticism of anyone, because it's not! It's my issue not caused by other people. I joined the counting cals thread and the exercise threads, but everytime I read over other's successes, I feel good for them, but it seems to point out to me my failings. I have been so depressed lately that I really can't handle feeling worse.

I read that someone manages to sit on 1100 cals a day, and I know I've "blown it" by eating 1900 and I feel even worse than I did for just having blown it. I compare myself and it underlines the fact that I had no control, and yet other people have had no problems keeping to plan. Or I can't get to exercise (despite putting my new exercise bike in the loungeroom) and I see others exercising an hour a day. Or I see people losing 7 lbs in a week, and I have been pretty much stable for the last 6 weeks or so. It was becoming a reason to beat myself up every day, and I have enough of those already!

Having said that, I miss you guys! I'm going to try and take time to come here and post on the main threads, but I'm going to give the other threads a rest until my life gets less insane and I can cope with putting a lot of effort into weightloss efforts. I hope you understand.

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Old 05-19-2005, 05:33 PM   #14
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DelsT-I don't like to think that I am on a diet. I consider it a complete lifestyle change. I allow myself to have anything that I want, as long as I measure it, write it down, and most importantly, own it. I use a small pocket sized memo book. I divide the page 2/3 and 1/3. On the wide side, I write down everything that goes in my mouth, calories and fat content. On the short side, I write down any exercise I get, things I'm doing or feeling. It is a great way for me to make connections between eating and emotions. I basically follow the Mediterranean heart diet pyramid, but scale back on the amount of olive oil. I'd rather have an extra veggie burger than the extra oil. The only expenses I had were about $10 for a kitchen scale and a bunch of measuring cups and spoons, and $15 for a $150 pair of professional volleyball shoes (great for heavyweights because volleyball shoes are designed for serious pounding). I get left over last year's colors on the internet because they always have my size left over(12-13). I later added a pedometer and swimsuit and hope to add a bicycle after losing 25 more pounds. I live on a small fixed income, and can't afford any counseling or diets. I hate the idea that fresh salmon is much more expensive than cheap fatty ground beef, so I have learned where to buy the best deals, like Boca veggie burgers and Eggbeaters are cheapest at Sams. When I eat fat, I like it on top where I can really taste it to get my money's worth. For instance I make whole wheat pita pizzas with grated peccorino romano on top. 2 tablespoons are only 40 calories and 3 grams of fat. I swear, it does seem like at times that I am eating almost non-stop. I eat boneless chicken breast 2-3 times a month. The rest of the time I eat veggie, or fish. Hope that answers your questions. My pocket sized food journal feels like a waitress' order book. It has become almost second nature after doing it for 10 months now. I have always had "portion distortion" issues, and have accepted the idea that I will have to measure and keep track for the rest of my life. I saw a 70 year old woman on CNN who was a nutritional counselor to stars in Hollywood. She had been large in the 1950's and lost weight by keeping a food journal. She has been keeping it for almost 50 years now, and only allows herself a small slice of cake once a year on her birthday. If she can do it, then so can I, because I am worth the effort.

Tashabella-Doctors?!@#. I have had many nasty encounters, two really stand out in my mind, a large female doctor refused to touch me after I had waited 6 months to get in for a physical, and when I asked for a blood test to check my thyroid, she screamed at me and kicked me out of her office. I didn't go to a doctor for over 2 years after that. When I was finally treated for my thyroid, my new doctor said it was obvious that I had needed help for some time because even my hair was falling out. By the way, I don't blame my thyroid for my weight, because a slow metabolism doesn't force you to eat 2 large pizzas in one sitting or 10 double cheese burgers. The second nasty encounter with a doctor, was in the ER when I had a high blood pressure induced angina attack. The cardiologist said that he couldn't really help me because my "character is so flawed." He wanted to stablize me and send me home to die on someone else's time. That time I got mad, and decided to prove him wrong. I had lots of doctors tell me over the years that I needed to lose weight. Some were more tactful than others. One of my older brothers in an internist in Syracuse, so you can imagine the conversations we have had. Nothing really ever got through to me until that *** of a cardiologist. Everyone reaches their rock bottom, like an alcoholic, for different reasons. When I picked the doctor that I am seeing now, I called their office and asked them if they had a problem treating a patient that was the hugest human being you have ever seen, and one who had to use a wheelchair. It was the 3rd or 4th one that had an answer I liked. He's from Guadalajara, Mexico, and treats me like his favorite aunt. I knew he was accepting of people when I saw that his receptionist was a Goth with piercings in places I didn't think possible. Just remember that doctors, for all of their high-faluting, are just another service worker. If you wouldn't take it from a mechanic or carpet cleaner, don't take it from someone who should be smart enough to know better. The oath they take says "first do no harm." Words can hit harder than fists, don't be afraid to tell them that their words have injured you.

See, this is why I don't try to do individual responses to everyone. I'd take up all their server capacity, as long winded as I am. I jumped on the scales today, which I rarely do in the middle of the week. I usually weigh once a week on Sundays. It says I am down 5 pounds so far this week. Now I am scared that if it doesn't say that on Sunday, I will meltdown. I get it in my head that the "fates" are punishing me for my "sins." Someday I hope to shake that.
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Old 05-19-2005, 05:35 PM   #15
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Hi! How is everyone today. I wanted to add my story. Tashabella. I was going to the dr. for months telling him that something was wrong- I was gaining weight and I wasn't eating that much. Even my husband tried to tell him. All he would say is " You just need to loose that weight"! Well ...I thought this is it - I am going to die - because I was'nt eating - I COULDN'T eat and he wouldn't listen. I started vomiting everynight and during the day. I couldn't walk.
Then one day - while trying to get out of my wheelchair to go to the bathroom - I fell.
I couldn't get up. hubby couldn't get me up. He called EMS. By the time they got there I couldn't breathe. I ended up on a respirator in a coma on dialysis for 2 weeks in Intensive care. The drs - NOT THE SAME IDIOT - said I wasn't going to live. They pulled 64 pounds of fluid off of me. I was in CHF - congestive heart failure and kidney failure - which put me into respiratory failure.
Needless to say - i have since changed doctors and he is very supportative about my weight.
I know how these drs can be. listen to your body - if you don't like what the dr is saying or HOW he says it - get rid of him - they are a dime a dozen!
~Tina~
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