Hi all,
I'm crawling out from under my rock where I have been hibernating. I haven't been doing so well lately - really battling some depression, eating wrongly, health issues and not exercising. So today I dragged myself out of bed and to Curves, hoping it would make me feel better. I'm feeling the exercise, but it wasn't the miracle turn-me-around for which I had hoped. However this afternoon I received a letter from the Vice Chancellor of my university informing me that I had won the University Medal for 2004 (across all campuses/disciplines). I couldn't even breathe or do anything but whoop for about 5 minutes and my son kept saying "what's wrong?!?!" until I told him I won the medal and he jumped up and down with me. It all still feels a bit unreal and will keep feeling unreal until I actually get awarded it at the graduation ceremony, I think!
I still don't feel wonderful, but that was definitely a positive.
Its 12:17 am so I don't have time for more than a couple of replies ...
Jen, thanks for sharing those pictures. I know I will have to have a tummy tuck when I get to my (so-far-nebulous) goal, and I hope I end up with a great flat tummy like you have!
Thin, thank you for the card! You are so sweet {{{hugs}}} I saw Miss Congeniality 2 tonight, and I thought it was really funny too.
Melissa, I hope your job situation works out fine ... I would hate to be put in that situation.
Iwillbe: "A quote I found on another site"You might think you can put it off until later, but the the only time thats currently available is the moment you are in" How true." I think I need to remind myself of this all the time. I'm back in the "well I've stuffed up today so no use trying anymore" frame of mind at the moment. And I really believed I had moved on from that
Anyway I am still battling headaches and feeling not so good, so I am going to go hit the hay ....
Good Morning ladies, I feel like I have been in a coma for the last 2 days. A front moved through, and my bad knee ached like crazy. It makes me not want to move around too much. I've lived without my ACL since I was 16, and my cartiliage since I was 19, so you'd think the thing would have adapted by now. On days I don't think it is a good idea to walk, I just do a hour of scissor kicks in bed. I should do a laying in bed exercise tape.
Loki-I have done some tailoring for large busted women. I do clerical shirts and vestments informally, usually for Catholics mostly, but I used to work for a statewide ecumenical organization, and word gets around. For some reason, clerical shirts off the rack tend to not be designed for large busts. I guess that is because most are from Catholic shops where big busts aren't supposed to be in the clerical shirts. Ten years ago a did a whole wardrobe for I think she was a methodist. She was large and large breasted. Once she realized that since she could have any fabric she could make them much more feminine, she even had me do a silk paisley one. The strangest one was done in black and white stripe like a ref's uniform. She used to wear them to budget meetings and conferences.
That experience really got me to thinking about how being overweight does seem to steal your femininity. I don't know whether my weight messed my hormones up, or whether my hormones mess with my weight (chicken and the egg), but they have been screwed up so long that I don't think I have really felt feminine since I was 14 if then. That's one of the first things that I plan on getting reaquainted with. I have one more laser removal appointment, but I already feel so much different. One day I may even stick my nose in a Victoria's Secret. I guess my goal is also to get married. The kind of guy who would be interested in me now isn't the kind of guy I would want to be with long term, so I am biding my time. I so desperately want to have a normal life. I think that desire is what keeps me OP.
Missmeliss-Man I know what you mean by bad karma. The stereotypes that get thrown at large women amazes me. Large men look successful, large women tend to get paid less, get less respect, and are a target if something goes wrong. I can't tell you how many times in my life that people assume I am lying without a good reason. Of course in my mind, even if I was lying, they didn't have the right to just assume it. Sometimes I think the fat in my body lodged in my brain. Hiding from the world, hiding from myself, all of these things are hard to work through, sometimes a minute at a time.
It is a pretty day, so I am going to get out an taste the freedom that walking is giving me.
Wow! This thread came out of no where...I was gone less than 24 hours and missed like 2 whole threads! No way I'll be replying to everyone...
Julie and others shopping the men's department: I shop there to get the Big & Tall shirts. I love huge baggy shirts but I can never find them in the women's department...at least never tall enough. My favorite thing in the world is a man's 4x sweatshirt. Jeans are another story. I definately have a waist, granted it's 44", but next to my butt it's teeny! So women's jeans are even a problem. The only one's I've found that fit well are Just My Size, which, thankfully, makes a tall. One thing I've noticed is that plus size clothes come in petites all the time, but talls are almost impossible to find. Woman's tops have the opposite problem on me...I was once measured for a bra and they said I was a D cup, but let's just say a C cup doesn't runneth over. Shopping for a 40 or 42C is hard work! Nope, big enough in the bottom is the problem. That's where it's good to sew. If it fits the hips it usually needs taken in in the waist. Or skirts hang down farther in the front than the back. I just hate clothes.
Leanne: Congratulations! Stupid question; is the medal for being a student or a teacher? Either way, terriffic accomplishment!
I suppose I was okay yesterday points-wise. Went over by about 1 or 2, but that's what flex points are for, right? Problem is we were just not able to eat in yesterday for dinner. I got home and planned to cook, and was thawing ground sirloin when DH got home and reminded me we had a meeting at 6:30. Since it was already 5:45, not much chance of getting food prepared and eaten in time to leave. We have it worse tonight, we have a meeting at 6:00. Since I get home at five and he doesn't get home until almost six...that's a problem. I guess I'll grab a quick snack and hope for the best. Last night we ended up with Subway and I had a 14 pt sandwich! Still only 35 points for the day...but I try to never get that high. Maybe I'll try just skipping dinner and having a snack when I get home.
Exercise has been non-existant. No reason either thru the weekend, just laziness. We won't get to racketball until Wed. and obviously there won't be time to walk or anything tonight. The best I've done is a few minutes working my arms with the 5 lb dumbells.
Jen: Nice to meet you. Looks like you are one of the success stories. Great photos...looks like it's coming along well. How much did you lose?
Meliss: Hope that interview goes well and you are back to work soon...with lots of apologies and groveling!
Tina: on the tests. I know what you mean about your hunny. I feel like I would have wanted to get the weight off sooner if DH didn't love me so darn much! It is so wonderful to know they love you thru thin and thick - pun intended - but it's also real easy to get complacent and stop worrying about your looks too!
BarbPA: Loved the pictures! I had a chihuahua once. His name was "Killer".
Julee: Hope the boss doesn't want anything too important. Maybe he just wants to tell you how good you're doing. Has to be better than the last time the boss called me...it was to tell me I'd been sued for $350,000. Actually, it's not a big deal to me...gotta love soverign immunity. I actually can't be found liable for anything I do in connection with my job. (It's good to be the ) Apparently someone is unhappy with my finding them in default and ordering them to pay child support when they failed to show up for their hearing. It's actually caused a big stink around here, but I'm finding it kinda amusing. I've never been accused of intentionally inflicting emotional distress on anyone before! You know I'm joking I hope. I actually do my best to be fair and impartial like I should be and for the most part I think I do a darn good job. It just boggles me that I get sued by someone who didn't care enough about the case to show up for it in the first place!
Well Ladies, I have just enough time to get in on the 2x2 challenge before I go on vacation to the land of mega-buffets! So count me in!
Just wanted to pop in for a bit before i get going for the day..it's been a very late morning. I was up at six, had half of my oatmeal and felt a bit ill (damn Glucophage) and then went back to bed for the remainder of the morning, pretty much. I exercised yesterday, but I think I'll try again today, I felt so good after that mile walk, I want to be able to try the two mile walk next week.
Thanks everyone for the good luck messages, we'll see how the interview goes (I'm not present during the meeting, but my boss promised to call me and let me know how it went). I know Danielle loves me to pieces and will have only nice things to say about me, but who KNOWS what she will be asked. Vulnerable adults that receive state aid are watched like hawks in Vermont (I am just learning this now). But I feel a lot better because I talked to my boss and she said she was more concerned about the man who MADE the claim against me, I guess there is talk about his um credibility at the agency. Shrug.
Jehari - You look absolutely fabulous! I clicked on the link and saw your new flat tummy...wow that's great, very VERY inspiring when I see people who've lost lots of weight. Also makes me worry though if I'll have extra skin hanging around.
Thin - I would LOVE it if you could give me some sort of resource for doing the mystery shopping (do not worry I don't live near you so I won't be competition, hee hee) - ESPECIALLY the movie ones, that would be so neat. So *nudge* whaddya say? What's your sounce?
Leanne - Congratulations on the medal...puts a positive spin on bleak events, huh? Why do we always hide when we go off program? I do it too. It's so funny, cause no one here judges anyone, yet we all hide in shame.
Catherine - I really need to learn to sew, I could make some fabulous clothing. I buy patterns whenever I see plus sized ones at the store, and they've sorta accumulated over the years. My goal each time is to make one of the simple pieces, I even have some fabric, too. Guess what's collecting dust in the closet?
IWillBe - Yay, finally the rain has stopped here as well. The rivers look scary. Shudder.
Terri - My plan is to do my mile long walk and eat lots of fruit!!
Lilion - Thanks for the good luck wishes, what did you end up having for dinner? You better have had a meal and not just a snack!! Heh heh. I'm kidding.
Well I guess for now that is it. I am trying hard not to reach for that 4 Way Nasal spray. I think i'm addicted to it, they say if you use nasal spray too much your nose becomes more congested. And now I think i need to wait it out because i definitely cant even BREATH through my dose. erm. nose, nose.
So....so much has happened sicne I posted yesterday afternoon. Last night was soooooooooooooo nice. BF showed up and we left for dinner...he had wanted to surprise me with a place that we had not been before, but little did he know that he was taking me to a fantastic sushi place that I had been when I first moved to LA a few years ago. But when I saw that was where we were going I was thrilled...it is a place I have been meaning to get back to and never have. So we're parking and I make a comment that this family from the synagogue that I am close with really likes to eat there...and lo and behold, who is sitting at the table next to ours when we get there? You guessed it..the family. Complete coincidence, but it would have been nice to have a little bit of privacy.
Nicer still was the fact that I was able to pretty much stay OP. I got a combo of sashimi and mini-skewers of grilled chicken, fish and veggies. Along with a salad and miso soup, I might have used a total of 3 or 4 points...yay! Then we went and saw Miss Congeniality 2 (very cute) and then came home, where I passed on the WW ice cream cone...I just wasn't hungry. BF got me the funniest present...he is so sentimental sometimes. He got me "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" on DVD...it was the first movie we ever watched together, and then he got me one of those Ms. Pac Man video game consoles that you plug into the front of your TV set. Given the fact that he learned what a rabid Ms Pac Man fiend I was back in the day...this present couldn't have been better timed. I got him some stuff from this comic book store he likes...he was surprised that I had thought to go in there.
So here we are again...it's Tuesday morning. Fortunately the bossman is to consumed with wedding details to come to work today so he won't be at the staff meeting to bring unneeded tension into the room.
The only thing that came close to ruining last night was the fact that 2 of the teens I work with called me while I was out. They all know how to reach me in case something comes up and they need me, but they both knew that I had plans and both calls were pretty extraneous...so I was a little peeved...but I let it go and didn't let it spoil the night.
Purim Carnival...well let's go back to the origins of Purim...Purim is a post-biblical holiday. It is not mandated or described in the 5 Books of Moses (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy). There was a time when a very evil man (Haman, advisor to King Ahashverus) consipred to kill off the entire Jewish population of Shushan (Persia). Through the quick thinking of the King's brand new Jewish wife (Esther), who feared for the life of her and her people, and her uncle (Mordecai), the plan was foiled and it was decreed that Haman and his advisors would instead be the ones killed. It is a very festive and celebratory holiday...hence the carnivals. It is also the holiday where we dress up in costumes and engage in a lot of other merriment. There is a bunch more, but it would take some time to explain. But thanks for asking!!! Just to put it in perspective, Purim is a minor holiday, as is Hanukkah (although it seems major due to it's length). Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Passover are more major holidays.
Well...I guess I need to get some breakfast together and hit the shower so I can make the 10:30 staff meting on time...not that I'm in such a rush.
Hope you all had a great day and continue to have a great week!!!
OH....on the topic of the clothing gripes...my problem is that my skirts hike up in the back and are too long in the front...but I am actually noticing that they are starting to even out...perhaps my butt is slowly diminishing??? Could it be? My wais it much smaller than my hips so pants never fit me quite right anyways...they always gap out...in the past I have always had to get the pants to fit my belly, again leaving a big gap at the waist...annoying! I did notice though that the button front shirt I was wearing the other night no longer is snug at my tummy or pooches out between the buttons. YAY!
My biggest gripe about clothes lately is all the neck holes are too big. My bra straps show with all of my shirts. I did, however, find out how to do an inverted box pleat to the back of the neck (today on the Internet) so I'm going to alter all of them to fit right!!! Yea!
I also have a tip for everyone if you're game: I take off from my diet on holidays. It's just a treat I give myself of having the day off. It's nice to have one day not to have to count anything. I have found that I usually don't overeat anyway, but it's just a relief not to have to keep track for a day. My birthday also is counted as a "holiday." Another thing to think about doing is having "one day off" a month. It gives you the same kind of rest from it. I haven't been faithful to my diet enough in the last year to do that, but I might start doing that again if I can get with it. It really helps -- just don't use it as an excuse to go crazy!
Right now I'm challenging myself to stay on my diet for three weeks straight. I read that it takes three weeks to create a habit so I'm shooting for the new habit of STAYING ON MY DIET! Anyone who wants to join me is welcome.
BarbPA – AHHH PUPPIES! Awww so adorable! Thank you for sharing hehehe
Scooter – I agree with you… so many people to keep up with hehehe.
Determined – Welcome back
QueenB – I am sending my prayers and warm thoughts to you. Please let us know how things go with your husbands father.
Jehari – Welcome and Hello
Thinthinker – ooooh Dunk’n Donuts. I dunno if we have one of those out here in Cali, but I remember them when I used to live in Ohio. We have Krispy Kreme tho. I’m not much of a doughnut fan, but I get the idea heheheh. BTW, I’m the slurpee person That came out wrong huh? Thanks for that info *G* I tend to get the 32oz slurpees. Bad bad bad. 400 calories! YIKES! I guess the good news is I haven’t had one in a LONG time hehehe.
Okie, so yesterday we ordered pizza from Red Brick Pizza. I will admit that I ate more than I should have. WAY more. Today, the leftovers are calling out my name. *grin* I’ve been good so far though. I will jump on the DDR with the kid again and burn some slices off. Hopefully.
I’m enjoying my week off from school. Cept I wish I didn’t have to work. Next week the middle school goes on spring break, so I’ll be off for work, but then classes start up for Spring term. Can’t win huh? Hehehehe… At least I’ll be off work for the summer, as for school. I’m still debating on if I want to take some classes. We shall burn that bridge when we get there I guess.
Hey guys, well I sorta have some good news....got a call today to do a two day job in the next town over, doing some reset with a team. I figured, I need the money, even though I hate merchandising, it should be better since I don't have to do it on my own, so if it messes up, the responsibility is on someone else's shoulders, heh heh.
Bobbi - I find that my neck holes are too big too!!! I hate it, I hate the feeling..I'll have to look up that sewing technique you're talking about.
Sue - I've pretty much gotten over my pizza cravings this week...i had it friday, plus i've had tons of different "diet" varieties over the past few days...
Lilion and Julee I know exactly what you mean about clothes/body shape. My waist has always been small compared to my butt, and I find it so hard to find anything that will fit me. I don't even try to wear pants/jeans, apart from one pair of sweatpants I made myself to work out in. Buying skirts is almost impossible too, because I'm 5'9" and shops here assume that if someone is overweight, they MUST be short. But I can buy tops no problem. I am so looking forward to the day I can just go into a "normal" shop and buy clothes.
Thanks for the congratulations on the medal! Lilion the medal is for my study over the last 5 years. I went back to uni and did an undergraduate degree, and then an honours year (by research). I found out at the beginning of February that I had received First Class Honours for last year. All the students that do honours full time at the University (all campuses and disciplines), and receive a grade of first class, and have a GPA of over 3.75 (out of 4) for the 12 best units in their undergraduate degree, are put forward to the academic board as possible medal recipients. Only one medal is awarded a year and sometimes not even that. So I am still pinching myself, and it seems a little unreal.
I am now teaching at the same uni on a casual basis... and the letter I received yesterday asked me to also consider further postgraduate study at the university. My supervisor from last year has told me that if I received the medal then I would be in demand to teach/research at various universities, so it's a huge advance for me!
One of the things that has been making me "hibernate" is how bad I feel when I go out because of my current lack of clothes so I have decided that I am going to push myself to make some skirts this week, so I can 'mix and match' some more. Being overweight (and the related issues to that) steals so many things from me. I don't want it to steal away my enjoyment of getting the medal because I don't feel comfortable going out of the house.
Julee your BF sounds so thoughtful!
OK *GULP* .... I'm going to join the next 2x2 even though I think I bombed out of the last one (weigh-in is today).
Buying skirts is almost impossible too, because I'm 5'9" and shops here assume that if someone is overweight, they MUST be short.
Exactly! Tall people apparently don't get fat! Even though I know easily five or six women my size or close to it who are taller than me! I'm every bit of 5'10" and pretty much all arms and legs and it's just a nightmare. Although I can fit into a 24 or 26 depending on how they're made, finding things long enough is awful. And forget about long sleeves! That's actually one other thing I shop the big & tall men's section for....long sleeve sweaters, sweats and tees.
Congrats again on the award. That really is great!
wow, can't say i've ever had a problem finding pants that were long enough :LOL:...i'm pretty short, around 5'4"...so i usually end up in long pants or in shirts with sleeves that are too long.
Heh, I'm 5'9 (actually I'm 5'7 and 3/4, but I'll never admit to it).
My biggest problem is that with my weight gain I've gained BROAD shoulders and I can't fit into any kind of blouse, save a man's. I HATE shopping for dress shirts and I've pretty much told the man I refuse to go job searching unto I loose enough weight to fit into beautiful shirts again. Heh.
I've been considering going into plus size modelling once I loose 100. Sad, I think I'm too fat for plus size modelling even. (sadface).
Lillion~ I always wanted to be a judge. In fact, since I'm only 22, I haven't given up the hope of going to law school and still trying. That'd be just fabulous. I'm really smart. Really. No wait, I'm serious, I am! =P I'm a great test taker too...look out Bar exam!
Melissa~I forgot what I was going to say to you... *scrolls and looks up* hmmm...maybe it was just.....2 1/2 days til our birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!
You know...my mom went to labor at like...3 am and she called my grandma and said "I need you to watch {my half brother and half sister} because I'm going into labor."
My grandma was spry. She said {bear in mind, this is 3 am} Aha! April Fools. And hung up on my mom. Who then called back saying she was serious.
I was 7 pounds 11 oz. Funny considering my mom, knowing they would feed her hospital food, told me she stopped at a 7-11, on the way (cuz they're the only places open that early, I guess).
2x2 Challenge
So women's jeans are even a problem. The only one's I've found that fit well are Just My Size, which, thankfully, makes a tall. One thing I've noticed is that plus size clothes come in petites all the time, but talls are almost impossible to find. Woman's tops have the opposite problem on me...I was once measured for a bra and they said I was a D cup, but let's just say a C cup doesn't runneth over. Shopping for a 40 or 42C is hard work! Nope, big enough in the bottom is the problem. That's where it's good to sew. If it fits the hips it usually needs taken in in the waist. Or skirts hang down farther in the front than the back. I just hate clothes.
on the tests. I know what you mean about your hunny. I feel like I would have wanted to get the weight off sooner if DH didn't love me so darn much! It is so wonderful to know they love you thru thin and thick - pun intended - but it's also real easy to get complacent and stop worrying about your looks too!
Actually, it's not a big deal to me...gotta love soverign immunity. I actually can't be found liable for anything I do in connection with my job. (It's good to be the 
) Apparently someone is unhappy with my finding them in default and ordering them to pay child support when they failed to show up for their hearing. It's actually caused a big stink around here, but I'm finding it kinda amusing. I've never been accused of intentionally inflicting emotional distress on anyone before! 
You know I'm joking I hope. I actually do my best to be fair and impartial like I should be and for the most part I think I do a darn good job. It just boggles me that I get sued by someone who didn't care enough about the case to show up for it in the first place!
