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Old 07-16-2015, 12:25 AM   #1
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Location: Washington State, US
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S/C/G: 285/285/170

Height: 5'10"

Default Weight holding you back?

So...there is this guy at work...

Yeah, cheesy I know! But here's the story...I work in an office environment. The company really pushes proper ergonomics and whenever anything starts feeling off, they send a specialist in to evaluate your posture, tools, etc. Okay, so the guy who comes in to test me - GORGEOUS. He's fit, handsome, and to complete the package he's very, very kind. We chat a bit about the ergonomics assessment, but leeway into a conversation about weight loss. He had originally wanted to be a fitness instructor/health advisor, and had already lost 32 pounds and was down to 10% fat that year. He's been continuing a dialogue with me via email talking about my goals and helping me with questions.

Here's the part that sucks though. My immediate thought is that this guy could never in a thousand worlds or thoughts, be interested in someone like me because I'm pushing 300 pounds. The line "A 10 doesn't lower himself to stand beside a 1" keeps repeating in my head. Logically I know he either does or does not consider me potential dating material. But I ALSO know that I will never pursue anything with him because I'm so afraid of what my weight would mean.
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Old 07-16-2015, 12:37 AM   #2
..This too shall pass..
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 51

S/C/G: 140/140/70 kg


It seems easy for me to talk because I've been in a relationship forever and have forgotten what it feels like to be looking for love.

BUT, I would say go for it, you only live once.
You're beautiful as you are, not just once you've lost weight.

**my kids
**looking good
**feeling great

Start: 6 JULY 2015 @ 140kg
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Old 07-16-2015, 07:25 AM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 17


I concur. You've got nothing to lose. What's the worst that could happen? Nothing would come of it? That's what's going to happen anyway if you DON'T try, 100% probability. But if you do try... your odds of a better outcome are a lot higher than zero!
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Old 07-19-2015, 01:01 AM   #4
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Location: Washington State, US
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S/C/G: 285/285/170

Height: 5'10"


That's true...I guess it would be best to give it a go. I just worry so much that my weight means more than I do. Does that make sense? Like it doesn't matter what my personality is, likes or dislikes, who I am. All people see is the weight and what that automatically means about me as a person. It's frustrating.
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Old 08-15-2015, 09:17 AM   #5
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 6

S/C/G: 310

Height: 5'3"


Panda - I totally get where you are coming from. My almost 2-year long divorce is finally coming to an end and while it seems I get a lot of date offers - the quality of those offers aren't very great. (When I say quality - I mean people who are looking for more than sex or have the same values as I do.) I was also at a club with a friend and felt the experience of being "picked off" because I was probably the easy one. A guy actually kept trying to force a kiss onto me. I punched him in the face. lol

The type of men I am drawn to, I would never in a million year approach at this weight. But again - see the comments up above. My chances are absolutely 100% non-existent unless I try. Grrr... How to find somebody who likes you for you when you're not comfortable with yourself. That's a hard one to tackle. (Speaking of myself... you may be comfortable with yourself. lol)

Wishing you the best! - Kimberly
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Old 08-15-2015, 08:45 PM   #6
Trying to be in the 160s
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 4,806

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Height: 5'8"


Men have very different tastes in what they find attractive in women. At least my male friends do which constantly surprises me. So go for it. You just don't know what he is looking for until you find out.

Not that weight has anything to do with relationships long term anyway. Love sees beyond the weight.

Running because of Diana
Believing because of Sue
Elvis lives!
Getting fashion advice from Sum
ReillyJ and Carpediem saved my knees!
Don't believe the hype. EAT MORE FISH.
If the bar ain't bendin', you're just pretendin'!
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Old 08-17-2015, 06:41 PM   #7
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 45

S/C/G: 378/272/250

Height: 5' 0


I've let my weight hold me back my entire life in everything i've ever done. I'm really trying to change that now that i'm trying to get back into good health...but it's much easier said than done.

I don't go out much, but last time i was out about a week ago i noticed a guy looking over at me and he smiled and started to walk in like my direction, i just looked down because i was clueless (still going through the self image issues sigh)...and he must have thought i wasn't interested and so by the time i got the courage to look up, he had passed and was long gone.

I've lived my whole life like this, so many missed opportunities and i'm really just sick and tired of it and trying to change.

I say go for it girl! Wishing you all the best It can go either one of 2 ways, and no matter the outcome at least you'll have no regrets.
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