Hi everyone,
I was here several years ago and enjoyed the company. I had lost about 75 pounds, got comfortable (although no where near goal), let life happen, and here I am back to square one. All the weight is back and I am miserable. I hate I let myself get here again. I hate that I have so much work to do to lose this weight. I'm embarrassed about my weight. I am sad for the poor example I am for my daughter. I am sad that I am lonely and don't feel I have anyone that understands. I hate that I know about nutrition but still make bad choices. I hate that I use food to fill a void in my life which in turn leads to an even bigger void. I hate that it takes so much work to make changes. I'm overwhelmed, tired, lonely, and frustrated. I have friends and family who love me but I am not anyone's #1 priority. My daughter is my life! I love her more than anything but if I don't do something she won't have me for long. How do you "just get started?" Where do you get the motivation and energy? Sorry to be such a downer. I need help and I know it.
I just wrote down my excuses, and why they aren't valid. Then I wrote down my fears about my weight. Then I just started making small, manageable changes. Drink more water, eat more veggies, etc. Not all at once, just one at a time. I don't strive for perfection. That is why I failed a couple of times. I take it day by day. As for what keeps me motivated... My children. Watching a 600 lb life and how they treat their family, and how they are treated by others. I don't want to be a burden on my family.
It can be very frustrating. I always made excuses and kept putting off this decision to finally get healthy. This time around I forced myself to make a chart on my computer. I keep track of everything that I do when exercising. It involves reps/sets completed and time spent on cardio, etc.
My motivation is to finally be able to keep up with the active life that I live. I also don't want to do one more dreaded increase in pants size. That was awful last time and I almost burst into tears in the dressing room!
I agree with Tootsie. Write down what is stopping you and why. I have had to do a lot of soul searching to get as far as I have. To accept that it is time to change, I had to acknowledge my struggles thus far and honestly think of what got me in this situation.
Try not to look at the big picture of wanting to lose XX pounds by XX date. I get frustrated when I am not steadily losing weight. Start small with little goals. Once you meet one, don't give up! Make a new goal and start working toward it.
I started at 331 three weeks ago. I lost 8 pounds so far.
I'm not working out yet, mostly because I'm lazy and I always have pain in my foot, so that doesn't make me want to work out. I should swim, but it's cold and a 15 minute bike ride away (I'm a Dutch student, so no car, and of course 15 minutes is nothing, but it's cold and I'm lazy).
For me it's baby steps, first the healthier eating. And it could be healthier, but I'm losing weight and I'm not hungry.
I guess tootsie said the same thing, just small steps.
If you want someone to talk to more often, send me a message.
Yesterday I read something Chris Powell (from extreme weightloss) said, you should make a small commitment and stick to it, if you can do that it's a sign you can do it. So just promise yourself to move 5 minutes a day, and stick to it. I started the 30 day squat challenge yesterday(before reading it), and now I really want to stick to it. Even if I can't do the higher numbers later on, just do them every day.
I am no help as I have never been able to motivate myself. I seem to happen randomly (and infrequently) into moods where I am motivated and try to take advantage of them.
Posting can sometimes make me maintain that motivation a little longer than normal. I haven't had 'sustained momentum' for over 10 years, I just keep hovering around 350 pounds, sometimes as high as 380 or as low as 320.
In my experience, I can't force myself to feel motivated... BUT when I just END up feeling motivated is when I am in a good place otherwise- doing things that I love doing, feeling happy with life and with myself and loving life/myself. I know everyone is different, but that's just me. If feeling rock bottom low doesn't motivate you, maybe try doing more things that make you happy, loving yourself...
For me, that means socializing a lot, wearing clothes that make me feel good about myself, and feeling more connected.
Thanks everyone.
It's funny. I am enjoying life and I am busy and socialize. I'm not sure how but at times I just kind of forget how big I am, then when I remember I get overwhelmed. I do have some things I can not do because of my size but not things that impact me significantly everyday. I think that is why I get so frustrated when I do think about how far I have to go and how much work is involved in doing it. I know I will be better off in MANY ways to lose weight it is just getting started. I think a good start for me would be to do some meal planning and grocery shopping. Maybe that will help!
Hi there Lynn. Oh your first post sounded so very familiar! When my head is in the right place I start with breakfast as my small change. Healthy porridge...no sugar. Then I move on to a healthy mid morning snack...then add a healthy lunch. So every few days I feel like I am making a better choice than I did a few days ago...if that makes sense. Even if it not having 6 cookies and only having 3...the small steps become big ones.
I can't say much myself as I regained 65lbs and am currently way off the pace because I have a really rubbish chest!
Good luck!
I've been eating healthier for four weeks now and the thing I noticed that really helps is to make sure that a couple of times your dinner is really yummy. Of course it still should be healthy somewhat, but it does really help if you can look forward to some good yummy food.
It also helps to have someone to talk about it. Maybe it's just me but I like to talk about it but sometimes it feels like people don't want to hear it. So if you want to talk about it, let me know!
For me, motivation only kicks in after I start and am seeing some success, which doesn't necessariy mean weight loss. Success for me can be getting through the day without sugar or drinking all my water. If I waited until I was motivated, I'd never lose weight. By the same token, if I screw up, I don't throw in the towel for the day (or week...), but start with the very next meal. Otherwise I get overwhelmed with frustration, which makes it harder to make healthy choices.
I mean I always know I sHOULD lose weight.. its the healthy thing todo.. But my friends and family love me.. my husband loves me.. no pressure or bad feelings from the people around me to lose weight.. So no real motivation there..
But being on high blood pressure and then on cholesterol medicine, I knew it was only a matter of time before I started inching towards the high blood sugar and diabetes thing..
Even thought I KNEW I was on the track to doing that to myself, I didn't have the motivation to lose weight until I saw the 118 come back on my fasting blood sugar. That was what gave me the motivation. I knew it was going to come one day, but it wasn't until I saw it and my doctor told me, that I got that motivation to do something, and do it quick!
Its all my motivation as well, as my doctor didn't appear that concerned either, she was like we will test you again in 3 months, as long as it doesn't go higher its ok or there are medications... I almost wish she had said "you really need to lose weight else you will get diabetes.. the diabetes word never came out of her mouth..
So that factor along with a few other factors, like wanting to be able to be more active with my son and walk up hills without being out of breath now etc. are driving me this time.. But I knew all this was going to come and happen to me, but until it did happen, i had no motivation..
I was also motivated to lose weight due to my doctor telling me I was close to getting diabetes so from that day I started to lose weight and I havent stopped yet and I wont stop until I'm at goal. I might have set backs but I wont stop and give up.
There is a quote I like that reads like "The fact that you're not where you want to be should be motivation enough..." there are millions of reasons to begin a healthy lifestyle, and you have to find yours to keep you motivated. I lost 60 lbs. very unhealthily in 2005, gained it all back with INTEREST (emphasis on interest, I got to my highest weight ever 350). I did it for the wrong reasons, or a reason not good enough to sustain me throughout a LONG journey, so I quit.
I finally seriously came back to weight loss a year ago, for the BEST reason to me, which is to be healthy, and that has kept me going. Because that is something we all truly want and need no matter what your walk of life is, it is non-negotiable, either you're healthy or you're not, there is no "health is in the eye of the beholder" it is pretty straight forward. Looking at things from that perspective means I can't fully let myself go again, eat myself into oblivion again without picking myself back up.
I'm not a mom, but making your daughter the reason behind your change is also a big motivation, because you want to be here for her & able to enjoy life with her to the fullest which is difficult when we're very overweight.
I am a big fan of following along with other people's journeys on Youtube especially, and here and many other sites people are chronicling their weight loss & health quests. Do you have any idea what plan you'd like to follow if any at all? I am not really on a plan myself, I just try to eat "healthy" most of the time & stay within a certain calorie range of around 1800-2000, though recently I've had to lower it to around 1650. I don't exercise which is not great, but I am losing without it right now... If you join MFP I'd love to be your friend on there, please let us know thanks!
Last edited by Candidcamster; 02-02-2015 at 09:41 PM.
Thanks everyone.
It's funny. I am enjoying life and I am busy and socialize. I'm not sure how but at times I just kind of forget how big I am, then when I remember I get overwhelmed. I do have some things I can not do because of my size but not things that impact me significantly everyday. I think that is why I get so frustrated when I do think about how far I have to go and how much work is involved in doing it. I know I will be better off in MANY ways to lose weight it is just getting started. I think a good start for me would be to do some meal planning and grocery shopping. Maybe that will help!
Hi Sweetea, I feel the same way about how long it takes and how much work it takes to lose the weight.. its demotivating just thinking about it! That is why I am so motivated about my weight loss right now, I am doing it through straight nutrition. Have you looked at all weight loss options, including perhaps the total meal replacement type program that would take all the meal choices away from you for a while and let you start to lose weight quickly while giving you time to re-learn about nutrition and be prepared for it when you are ready to go back to foods? I feel like I have plugged the leak, and am learning how to fix the leak before actually getting the wrench out and messing up my pipes more! If that makes any sense..
I would be happy to tell you about the program I am on, just pm me. I am on my 8th week and down 42 lbs so far.. Its scary for some people, but when I reread your initial post and then this second post, you sound like you have the same objections and roadblocks that I do to dieting.. too long to see results and too much work/hard.
How do you get motivated to do this?
