I think when ever i try to lose weight it's as much a battle with my mind as it is a battle with my physical weight. Even more so really! This may sound stupid but i even think that my mind tries to trip me up and look at things in a negative way when i really should look at the bigger picture. I ask myself and all of you, does this only happen to me or does anyone else have a battle with their own minds when trying to lose weight?
This is my 7th day of eating healthy and last night i had some biscuits, 9 biscuits to be exact. This morning when i woke i felt really sad and i felt that all too common feeling of nearly giving up. While i was getting ready i thought what am i doing!! I have been eating well for 7 days and exercising and one small slip and i think it's a disaster!! So i looked at the bigger picture and told myself that actually i had done really well and had achieved something. This as always been my problem when trying to lose weight. It's like my mind plays games and tried to sabotage the positive things and turn them into negatives.
So my question is to all of you...
...Mind games, does this happen to you??
I would say for me the majority is a mind game. When my head is in the right place it feels so easy and when my brain is careening off into wherever, it feels next to impossible. Getting rid of that all or nothing mentality is huge. I’m not sure why we feel the need to be perfect – where does that come from? Getting into the game is the most important thing. Whenever that happens I try and remind myself – if I break one dish, do I go to the cupboard and proceed to smash every other piece in the set to start over? No, I clean up what I broke and try not to break another one.
We tend to overemphasize our failures over our successes. Assuming you eat three meals a day, in seven days you had 21 meals. You had one "bad" meal. That means you scored 95% for the week. That is still an "A".
One thing I would suggest is checking out the Inside Out Weight Loss podcast. It isn’t being made anymore, but you can go back and listen to old episodes. I really like her approach to dealing with the mental aspects, the all or nothing mentality, types of motivation, etc.
You are definitely NOT alone there! I ate a one of those giant Hershey's kisses the other night (they are about 4oz each) all by myself! I felt so guilty afterwards. But, like you, I just had to tell myself that it was only one slip and since there is no more chocolate in the house I'm not likely to repeat that mistake again.
I'm learning that I have to take things one day at a time. Sometimes an hour at a time to make it work for me. I have my big goal, but I'm trying to look at my small accomplishments along the way so I don't get so discouraged. That has always been my downfall when trying to lose weight. I would give up because of one or two mistakes when that is NOT necessary. We are human and bound to mess up sometimes!
Good luck with your weight loss goal and try to remember this little saying, it's helped me with a laugh or two over the years. Not sure who said it first but I think I heard it from George Carlin.
"Don'tsweatthepettythings, and don't pet the sweaty things!"
It looks like i'm not alone then, which is good
I am totally focusing on the achievements and trying not to sweat the petty things lol. Because really they don't matter, we are human and i guess if we get too strict with ourselves we are setting ourselves up for a fall.
It's just really interesting to see how the mind affects us all. I love what you said about breaking the dishes Nancy, it's so true. And Michelle i am so the same when it comes to being discouraged, one or two mistakes and i would throw in the towel. But like you i am taking things one step at a time now and hopefully finally understanding that one treat doesn't mean disaster.
Thank you ladies for replying, it's so interesting to read others perspective on this. I will read the podcast Nancy, thank you. Oh and my name, i'm such a big Buffy the vampire slayer fan lol
You are never alone! LOL Not in anything you do...there is always someone who has been there, done that sometime or another. It's just a matter of finding those people! I certainly hope to find people here to help me on my journey. You can't go wrong with dancing carrots right?
I have over 100lbs to lose and health issues that I hope to get rid of by losing the weight so I know I will slip up along the way. That's why I've chosen to just eat healthier and exercise more...not just try another diet. That way a little chocolate is OK for me!
I find that these things are going to happen. We're not perfect. We, also, have been eating this way for a long time to get where we are. We're going to make mistakes but that doesn't mean we have to give up. The next day is a brand new day to make better, different choices.
Along the way of my physical journey, I am definitely working on my mental journey, as well. Last year things just got to tough and I let it get to me and I gave up so darn easily. Now, it's a completely different story and I know along with the physical changes I am going to be going through some mental changes as well!
You guys have already helped me so much!! My attitude and way of thinking is already changing, i can cope with hiccups a lot better. This forum is the best i have ever come across. The inspiration and support is unbelievable, thank you all for replying to this post.
Everything is mental for me... If i tell myself i CANT have something, i'll want it to the point of obsession.. Thats why i chose to do weight watchers, and to see a psychologist on top of it...
With WW i can eat whatever i want, just have to make choices to balance it out
We all have bad days, just take the next meal with a refreshed attitude!
Yes for me too Jillian, i am an emotional eater and eat when i'm stressed. And when i'm tired, anxious and when my OCD and depression is really bad. So for me my emotional/mental side of it is huge, if not 90% of it. So i have to be really focused and keep in the forefront of my mind why i am doing this journey in the first place to keep me motivated.
Can you use your mind games to help you? When I am having a rough day, I try and do that. Mine tend to be more with exercise, but I am sure it could be tailored to food.
For example, I usually run 5 miles for my cardio workout, but if that just seems to be too much, I get on the treadmill and set the machine to go for an hour (about how long it takes me to run 5.5 miles). Then I set the display to go back and forth between how far I had run and how many calories I've burned (I always enter my weight about -10 pounds to help account for the inaccuracies). Then I start running. When I get to where I want to stop, I look at the display and say, "OK, it's been 2.56 miles. I can reevaluate when I get to 2.75 miles." The when I get there, I look at the calories and say, "I've burned 465 calories. I can reevaluated when I get to 500 calories." More times than not, I make it the whole distance and don't realize it til I'm 2 minutes away from goal. At that point, "How can you even consider giving up? Actually, you should push yourself harder this last 2 minutes."
When I get to where I want to stop, I look at the display and say, "OK, it's been 2.56 miles. I can reevaluate when I get to 2.75 miles." The when I get there, I look at the calories and say, "I've burned 465 calories. I can reevaluated when I get to 500 calories." More times than not, I make it the whole distance and don't realize it til I'm 2 minutes away from goal. At that point, "How can you even consider giving up? Actually, you should push yourself harder this last 2 minutes."
I actually do the same thing. I've just started to become active, but I find that I go further or harder if I'm comparing a number whether it be time, distance, or calories. It keeps me accountable and I can keep telling myself "What is another 2 minutes? What is another half a mile?" etc.
As far as food like the OP, I have a hard time with it as well. It's like sometimes my brain resets to how I was eating prior to November (the month I started my diet). There are times that it snow balls into a week of eating poorly and there are times I accept it for what it is and my next meal is on plan. The important difference between the two is the thought process that I had after consuming the amount or type of food that I did. I found that if I took the time to evaluate how or why that I generally went back on track immediately.
Everything is mental for me... If i tell myself i CANT have something, i'll want it to the point of obsession..
That's what happens to me all the time. I either get obsessive and cravey while I'm trying to stick to the new plan or I take my eye off the ball, am not stressed and obsessive, and fall back on bad old patterns. It's... Annoying. I just wish I could persuade my head to get obsessive about eating good healthy food!
I do think it's possible to trick the mind on certain things and what you said Ikesgirl80 is a really good idea. I ordered a pizza Saturday night, 6 slices and some garlic dough balls. When it arrived and i smelt the dough balls it actually made me feel sick and the pizza was gross also. Now i don't know if that it was my mind or it was just gross but in the back of my mind i thought why have i done this. Why have i ordered it, i ended up eating 3 and 1/2 slices of pizza and one bite of the dough balls. I wasted £23 on it!! I was so mad with myself because i could have saved that money and i had no pleasure in eating it at all. I have no idea if it would have been different off plan, would i have enjoyed it or not??? No idea, but i will say one thing, it made me want to get straight back into my plan.
Last edited by BuffyInSunnydale; 05-13-2013 at 07:10 AM.
I think there is often a big disconnect between what our brain thinks we want and what our bodies actually want. Getting more in tune with that and eating for our bodies rather than our brains is a big part of this I think.
How often does food actually taste as good as we imagine it will? The reality rarely matches the fantasy.
I totally agree with you Nancy, when i was eating the pizza i thought i could have had what i had originally planned to have. I had planned to have a cottage pie that night and i can't really tell you why i changed my mind, because i still don't know. I am actually starting to enjoy foods i once viewed as "diet food" and would only eat when i was trying to lose weight. How we view food is so bizarre it baffles me sometimes. But my distorted image of food is slowly changing for the better and i am enjoying fruits and veg that off plan i would never eat because i viewed them as "healthy and tasteless". I have a long way to go and by no means have i turned the tide completely, your lifetime view of food doesn't change over night. But the tide is turning slowly, i am pleased to say.
Last edited by BuffyInSunnydale; 05-13-2013 at 09:33 AM.
Mind Games?
Re: Mind Games?
But, like you, I just had to tell myself that it was only one slip and since there is no more chocolate in the house I'm not likely to repeat that mistake again.
You can't go wrong with dancing carrots right? 
