HI. I am new to this type of thing but I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I have always been the heavy one. I have always known since I was little that in the end it was up to me to change myself. I went to the doctor about a week ago now and went on that dreadful scale and when it read 303 I broke down in tears(literally) I had always told myself that if I ever get above 300 I was gonna... well you all can probably guess. I know that I need to work out more and eat better well honestly WAY better, but even with the support of my mother, who no longer lives in town, and my good friends , all of whom are either bodybuilders or have very healthy lifestyles one is even a physical trainer and dietitian, I dont seem to be able to get too far. I love my friends but when I go to the gym with them ( and I do like my gym) even though they do love me for me . They just dont get it when I say I need a rest or I am hurting after 30 mins of intense cardio or combo workouts, because they have never known what it is like to carry all of this weight. So even with all of them I dont trully feel the support so I always end up not giving up but just taking some bench time. I would love any advise please!
Welcome. The folks at 3FC are supportive, and especially on this board, we understand the special challenges of being our size.
The best advice I can give is to start with a very honest assessment of where you are with food and exercise, then make life-style changes that you can live with, gradual ones. Everyone here who's had success has had their own approach: some have trainers and go to the gym, others (like me) prefer to exercise on their own. Some do WW, some count calories, some do other plans, but for the most part, gradual changes seem to work best--and that means, of course, that reasonably slow loss is what you can expect.
Support helps, but for me, 3FC has been most helpful once I started holding myself accountable to checking in daily. Let us know you've had a good day, and we'll give you all the positive reinforcement we can--let us know you've had a bad one, and we'll encourage you to make it only one. So stick around and best wishes!
Vortex VVV's advice is great. I echo it, but let me say too that your first focus should not be on working out right now. If you want to lose weight, you need to focus on the amount of food you are consuming, and drop your calories to create a calorie deficit.
There are many different plans that can help you with that, from basic calorie counting, to weight watchers, to plans that provide you with prepacked food like Jenny Craig or IP, to low-carb plans, or something like intermittent fasting.
You need to look at the food you eat, the foods you like to eat, and the way food fits into your lifestyle and make a choice to consume fewer calories in a way that is realistic and do-able for you.
Weight loss comes from DIET, primarily. Exercise is for FITNESS. It helps weight loss, obviously, but your first goal is to control your calories. Once the weight starts coming off, you will find that you are able to make new gains in the gym as you start feeling better and more fit.
So I strongly advise you to keep going to the gym and working out in a way that works for you, but work on figuring out a food plan for yourself as your primary weight-loss tool!
I find that pre-planning meals, having prepared things like cut veggies and salads always at the ready, and using certain convenience items (for me, frozen veggie burgers, or instant oatmeal) and quantity-limiting packaging (single-serving bags of baked chips, for example rather than big bags) make daily meal chores and choices so easy at this point that they are MOSTLY unconcious. I don't buy foods that tempt me to overeat. I don't keep them in my house in packaging that makes it easy to overeat. I count out my croutons and measure my coffee creamer, etc. You can do it! You just need to strategize how.
Vortex VVV's advice is great. I echo it, but let me say too that your first focus should not be on working out right now. If you want to lose weight, you need to focus on the amount of food you are consuming, and drop your calories to create a calorie deficit....
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Weight loss comes from DIET, primarily. Exercise is for FITNESS. It helps weight loss, obviously, but your first goal is to control your calories. Once the weight starts coming off, you will find that you are able to make new gains in the gym as you start feeling better and more fit....
I could not agree more! First step is to clean up your diet and figure out how to achieve a sustainable-for-you way to create a small deficit each day.
If you really feel like you want/need exercise too right away, don't overlook simple walking. It doesn't cost anything, you can do it just about anywhere (even walk in place while watching TV), and when you get to the point where you feel more comfortable with workouts you will have a head start on your fitness.
Autumn-
It really does come down to food choices. After a back injury i had a wake up call that i needed to drop some weight... So here i am.
I have tried "eating healthy" in the past and it never really worked for me. I needed something with very clear boundaries... So i ended up with the Weight Watchers program (but without paying the money and going to the meetings). in the first 2 weeks i lost 8 lbs without increasing activity and now i'm adding in activity that fits my life... like walking at work on breaks, and once it warms up i'll be doing stuff in the pool.
The most important thing is to be kind to yourself, and find a plan that works for you...I am new here too... but this has been a great place to find support so far. Just one step and one day at a time.
Welcome autumnjoy! Joining 3FC is the best thing you could have done! You already got excellent advice above so I hope you can read it a few times and really absorb it. I have had amazing success that was not possible without all of the wonderful people here. 3FC has literally changed my life. I look forward to seeing you post, we are here for you!
The people at 3FC are an excellent support group! The people at the 300+ forum are wonderful and they all know and understand you when you say that you like working out but need to take a break--we've been there--are there--or are getting to where you are... Personally, I am a little jealous of the fact that YOU--yes, I said I am a little jealous of YOU-- can workout for 30 minutes when I can't even manage 10 minutes right now! (The smilie is for you and not me--LOL) I want you to take that statement and feel absolutely WONDERFUL about yourself. You are doing something that someone else has to work for. What I used to do (before I fell off the wagon and hurt myself) is go to the gym with the same friend all the time and we would do our workouts together. She lost weight faster than I did--meaning she got to her goal weight quicker but she also didn't have as much to lose as I did. We would do our weight training workouts and end with the treadmill or the elliptical. Yeah--they told me I should do the cardio first too, but you know what? I was freaking doing it so shut up gym person-- Anyway--back to the pep talk--find 1 friend you like to go with or...go alone. You can do it. And you can always come here and know that there are people who are rooting you on. Because we are! And you can be at the gym AND at 3FC at the same time if you have internet on your phone.
Basically all of my rambling is saying that the people here understand so come here and talk to them--tell your friends to bang off (nicely) if they make you feel bad because you can't do as long as they can--and to pat yourself on the back because you are doing really well. Look at how far you've come and compare yourself to that and not your healthier friends.
I want to thank all of you for all of this wonderful support!!! Since I last posted I will be totally honest and say that I have not gone to the gym once. I have been really trying to take time to think and write down all of the excuses that I seem to be coming up with each time I dont go ,and its amazing how little it takes to make me not go. My new goal is to tell myself that I am worth going to the gym and when an excuse pops into my head I will try and change the topic in my head !
Welcome you have found a great supportive place to come to for help
For me I eat fairly healthy exercise regular and still weigh 314.15 pounds
I know what you meant by the if I ever got that heavy.... I used to feel that way too...And yes I was also always the fat kid - the biggest person in the room - and am wanting to change that
I found that we need to work hmmm Smarter not harder ...?
one of the advertising gimmicks used by people trying to sell weightloss programs...
well its kinda true - 80% of what we do to lose weight is what we eat and drink
Do you know if you have any food allergies - some Dr's think that an intolerance to a food group is rubbish, I have been finding if I eat wheat too often I retain fluid get headaches and put on weight - I just wish loosing weight was as simple as not eating it - seems to be here to stay since
first thing I found that helped was to start drinking water, not other drinks, whilst not worrying about what I weighed - I started by drinking only water for 2 weeks, not having juice or soft-drinks if I felt like I wanted something to eat I started by having a drink of water and seeing if I still wanted that thing about 10-20 minutes later - at the time I did eat breakfast morning tea lunch afternoon tea and dinner - I did not just drink water and not eat
Start with Small goals
even if they are not weight related
and CELEBRATE THEM when you reach them - this could be something as simple as watching a DVD? down to a new pair of shoes..
my first goal was to go for a walk or do something to work out 3 times or more a week - I found an aqua aerobics class and do that now 4 days a week which is great... no impact on my dodgy joints as well
Also - Gyms are not for everyone. Our local gyms are full of the gym bunny types .. Yes some weight training is good - i do mine at the moment as part of our aqua aerobics.. not looking forward to winter as ours is a summer pool only 2 weeks left and I need to find something else to do ..
Enjoy your journey remember ever day is a challenge and that you are the sort of person who can get there - and come back to the forum regularly for support
it does help!!!!!!
. They just don't get it when I say I need a rest or I am hurting after 30 mins of intense cardio or combo workouts,
your probably working out at too high a level to burn fat when your reaching this stage too ..
thinking about the smarter not harder..
have you tried doing a workout where you alternate cardio and weights - warm up on the tread mill / bike / cross trainer
then working at a set of upper body weights then lower body - then back onto the next Cadio - next leg then arms .. and so on till you have done your work out - it sounds like your working too hard for you at the moment with the gym try a lower intensity and see if you can go for longer?
mini goal could be to say do 15 minutes on the cross trainer with the last 5 at a high intensity?
So the only gym in town where I felt like I not only belonged but also felt comfortable apparently just got bought out by a car repair shop. The thought of gym shopping again makes me not even want to. I know that I could workout at home but having a roomate who seems to always be home and in the way is the reason I mainly go to the gym, at least until this fall when I move out on my own again. I just wish there was another place like that where I felt not only comfortable but was so reasonable in pricing.
Lost In North Dakota!
Welcome autumnjoy! Joining 3FC is the best thing you could have done! You already got excellent advice above so I hope you can read it a few times and really absorb it. I have had amazing success that was not possible without all of the wonderful people here. 3FC has literally changed my life. I look forward to seeing you post, we are here for you!
Personally, I am a little jealous of the fact that 
What I used to do (before I fell off the wagon and hurt myself) is go to the gym with the same friend all the time and we would do our workouts together. She lost weight faster than I did--meaning she got to her goal weight quicker but she also didn't have as much to lose as I did. We would do our weight training workouts and end with the treadmill or the elliptical. Yeah--they told me I should do the cardio first too, but you know what? I was freaking doing it so shut up gym person--
Anyway--back to the pep talk--find 1 friend you like to go with or...go alone. You can do it. And you can always come here and know that there are people who are rooting you on. 
