Barb- I know being on steriods are NO FUN!! I am fighting a round of IBS and sometimes end up on steriods for it. Right now I am on a antispasm med called librex and it helps but really slows me down and makes me tired.
Hang in there...the weight will come off. Hope the rash goes away and doesnt come back!!
Not alot going on here really. We finally have warm weather and no rain.I am spending lots of time with the kids outside. I am still trying to walk at hte playground while they play.
Food is different right now because of my IBS. I will just keep at it and not let the little set backs upset me. Today scales are up 5lbs for no reason...oh well its temp weight and will come off in a day or two.
time to go out and play..hugs to all
Heather - My lockup issues started about 3-4 weeks ago. Bingo on the momentary satisfaction when eating sweet carbs. A delicious sensation and then boom regret.
Valerie - Happy Birthday!!! I had to laugh about your thrill in Gabe spooking and you staying on. That is exactly the thought that goes through my mind when Spanky does something silly that scares the poop out of me but I stay on!
to all. I gotta get busy but will check back later for a better update.
I recently watched the movie What the Bleep Do We Know which describes how the brain reacts when we participate in addictive behaviors. (And it's all the same for absolutely any addiction, be it cocaine, food, alcohol, worrying and other emotions, porn, etc.) We are experiencing a change in our brains when we eat something that makes us "feel" better. The food doesn't actually cause it; our brain response to that food does.
The thing is that we can change that response and rewire our brains so that Snickers bars, KFC, sugary doughnuts, etc. won't do it for us as much as it used to. And we can replace the solution for the emotional even with something that is actually healthy and genuinely helpful.
So instead of me burning rubber to KFC in reaction to my mother's madness, I can stop reacting to her commentary and remember that her remarks are not really about me but rather about her shallow world view. And I can make a choice to say something, or not, as the situation requires. And I can go ahead and feel the emotion my mother's remarks have conjured, understand that I don't have to be devoured by them and my world won't end because of them, feel the subsequent sadness, loss or whatever other emotion is triggered, and let it fade away.
That is a really difficult exercise to work through the first dozen times or so, but eventually it gets easier, and now I don't feel the need for KFC any longer. And I can go get whatever food I want, when I'm hungry, and it will only be about satiety and nothing more.
So, now I have to apply all of that to driving, because I'm now seeing that there's something about driving around town that makes me want to go through a drive thru. I've been choosing Starbucks for a big unsweetened iced tea as my fall back choice, but I don't always succeed in coming across Starbucks when I'm on the road for long distances. The thing about driving, for me, is it's when I have time completely to myself and my brain starts churning through the drama of the divorce, my parents and my new living situation. I've tried turning on the radio as loud as I can stand it, but my antenna just broke and I need to get it replaced.
I think I'm finding myself stuck in Lodi, which was a choice by necessity, and I'm angry about it. I didn't expect to be here in this circumstance in my life and I'm not fully behind the idea of being here, emotionally speaking. I can't get a job because I have to be on call for my parents as well as be at home for my kids soon and I'm still going to school for myself, online, for two more years. I have no friends yet. It's really hard to break into new social connections in your late 40s. Other people in the community already have their social networks established. I'm just going to have to weasel my way in. The neighbors haven't even come over to welcome me to the neighborhood. I guess people don't do that any longer.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just frustrated. I do have the confidence that I will be finding my place soon and Lodi will feel like my home again soon. I just didn't think I wanted Lodi to be home ever again.
Thank you for indulging my ramblings. I feel better for getting it all out.
Hi GGGirls!
NO! ANGELA - Snickers don't = broccolli??? THIS is terrible news... but at least I know where I've gone wrong all these years! LOL. Seriously, I totally understand. For me it's my husband's depression. I'm a 'glass-is-half-full' person, and he's a 'glass-is-half-empty-&-draining-fast, it'll never-be-full-again" person, and good grief - it just makes me wanna go climb in the cupboards with whatever carbs I can find. I swear, if he were drowning he wouldn't bother to wave at a passing ship.
Keep on tryin' Georgia! It's the only way to get where you want to go.
Thanks Barb!
I'm back to journaling again, mostly because at TOPS they really encourage it, but I'm so glad! It's making a huge difference in both my success and my attitude! I rambled on about it on the main thread, but basically said that journaling is one of those things that I fight against doing. But when I face it, it's a FREE tool that REALLY promotes success on any plan, and trying to accomplish ANY thing in life by refusing to use the tools that are made for the task is basically stupid. I use garden tools, kitchen tools, office tools at work, make-up tools to help prevent me from scaring small children... why in the world do I make up excuses - and accept them - to keep from just writing things down?! So I'm journaling. And it's working.
Have an absolutely fantaszmic day ladies!!
Edit:
OOPS! I missed the page two posts!
Yes Terri, I bet you know that feeling well - when you're just not sure for a moment or two whether there's still a horse between you and the hard earth. (They're made it much harder than when we were kids, too - AND farther away!)
Georgia - I wish I could see that show. It sounds interesting and valuable. Thanks for sharing your own revelations on refocusing. I'm hoping to apply it to my own circumstances, too.
Last edited by NoLifeWithoutHorses; 05-19-2009 at 01:36 PM.
I *hope* tomorrow we'll start the drive. Since Mom can't/won't get up before about 11 a.m., we'll have to do the trip in two days with a stay in a hotel in the middle.
Heather, Georgia, Yes! Yes! It is absolutely a brain-physiological thing. I absolutely have that moment when I feel the stress switch off. I've tried to learn to reproduce that "switch" with meditation and I can get something *close* but not the same. Exercise might be a better choice, if I could get into more of a zone.
Georgia--Thanks for the good thoughts. I've had some days where I succeeded in not doing it despite temptation; I just need to figure out how to resist EVERY time.
Valerie--Your husband sounds like mine. {{{HUG}}}
Last edited by Vortex_VVV; 05-20-2009 at 12:08 AM.
Angela, I've heard of those who are addicted to exercise...perhaps we can switch our Snickers/KFC habits into drop-and-give-me-20 habits.
Valerie, would you tell me a little more about TOPS? I've heard reference to it but don't know anything about it. How do they use journaling? I love to journal (it's how I discovered I was a writer) and find it very helpful. At the moment I have two journals going, one for working through divorce and the other for general wellness.
Angela - be safe our your drive. We'll miss you. I admire you for being able to take the trip with your mother and have her live with you - you are a better woman than I. I thought of you last week when I needed to take my parents to a funeral about an hour away - it was a long trip.
I recently started using spark people to track my food and I'm finding their 8 minute workouts are great. Anyone else have any success with these quickies? The 90 minutes my trainer pushed me last night felt great though. I inadvertently made a time/weight goal and shared it with her - I don't do that type of goal but it seemed far away. I think she has it embedded in her brain and is single handedly going to get me there. I'm so glad that we will continue to work together over most of the summer as last year summer was vacation for all from training.
I was so wiped out by evening yesterday. Not sure why...food had been good and so was water. I went to bed to watch tv and fell asleep by 7.LOL I am feeling much better today.I think maybe being outside just wiped me out..I had gotten lots of sun.
No clue what triggered this round of IBS.. I hadnt had any nuts or seeds. Those are what triggers me most often and I LOVE NUTS !!! I had really cut my carbs big time last week and now Im wondering it that might have triggered it...
My garden is really growing now that the rain has finally slowed down. I am even thinking the weeds have slowed down as well.
Hope everyone has a great day.
hugs to all
Georgia It's got to be rough to be where you don't want to be with people you don't want to be with. I really don't know where you'd go to meet new folks. Church? Volunteer work? Hobbies? My best friends are either OLD friends (from grade school) or my SCA friends from my reinactment group. Hang in there!!!!
Speaking of instant gratification - My DS wanted Dairy Queen for dinner last night and I thought he deserved a treat, so I ran and got him some. The whole drive (10 minutes or so) I was thinking, ONION RINGS! but I didn't get any. I did, however, wind up with a small raspberry truffle blizzard. I just freakin' LOVE raspberries paired with dark chocolate. But at least I ate a boca burger and salad for dinner instead of having the onion rings.
My best friend and I have started walking my dogs in the evening. Only a mile, but there's one heck of a hill in there. And weather being PERFECT right now, I've also started walking my from 6/10 mile parking lot to work and back. It's something....more than I have been doing.
TERRI - I am SOOOOO gonna steal your line about the drama queen! It would be worth a black eye, but don't worry, he's not that type.
Yup, Angela. Can't live with 'em but ya just can't shoot 'em.
LILION, That hill has got to be something! I have just a short one up the drive from the barn to the riding area, but OMG I'm outa breath.
GEORGIA, TOPS stands for Take Off Pounds Sensibly. If you google TOPS add the word sensibly or it brings up other stuff. I'm not an expert on it, since last week was my first time. I read about it here. Julie, on the main thread was going, or I'd have never known of it. They've been around quite a while. They don't tell you what plan you should follow; that's your personal choice. We weigh in every week & there are a few little motivational things they do. They don't tell everyone your weight, but we all bring a piece of fruit or a quarter to throw in a basket. Whoever loses the most that week gets the basket. Top losers get pay backs of $1 or so, nothing big, just a fun pat on the back. There are a few pins that get passed around for various things, just to keep us mindful of our purpose and the fact that thegroup is behind each one of us. We had a discussion about sabatage and how to handle it. It took just and hour or slightly less if you don't count the hour of weigh in time available before the meeting. They had coffee and beverages, and everyone was really friendly. On their website you can look up all your local groups, their locations and times. I think different groups run differently, but the basis is a safe place to be gently held accountable, be acknowledged for success, discuss the challanges and be motivated to keep working at it. Dues are $26 a year, and my group has additional $4/month, but we don't pay if we've lost 3 pounds and not gained it back or something like that.
Tonight is weigh-in and I'm really looking forward to it! You know when you've been off plan for a while that the first week back OP is usually a good one, and I've been a very good girl. Not perfect, mind you. There are 2 donuts, 2 ice creams, some birthday cake & a choc chip cookie in my recent past, but there wasn't endless binging or even eating good things but in excess.
BTW, that little choc chip cookie I ate this morning was a surprise. I decided it was worth it to spend my calories on one, and when I went to log it I figured it was 80-100 calories. But when I looked it was 140! That's 40-60% higher than I ever would have thought. Maybe this one thing was only 40 calories, but when we fool ourselves but PERCENTAGES like that, well, the result isn't pretty.
Last edited by NoLifeWithoutHorses; 05-20-2009 at 01:11 PM.
GG, I haven't used Spark mini-workouts, but I try to do some brief cardio throughout the day to manage blood sugar levels after eating. I'll hop on the treadmill or elliptical trainer, and in the evenings I bounce on the Fitball while watching TV. I really don't like cardio; it bores the heck out of me! I do like to train a lot longer with the weights, and I really start feeling the endorphins when I've been pumping weights for a minimum of 30 minutes.
Lilion, when I was in college I used to do costuming for friends in the SCA. I never went to any events, but they really sounded fun. Maybe I should look them up again. I haven't really had an opportunity to focus on making new friends, what with moving, managing my parents, school work, divorce issues, etc. When I have a spare day, I usually just stay in the house and straighten up. I've still got a few weeks of having to get my life organized and to finish school for the semester (I am so behind on my homework!), and to get the kids through the early stages of coming to grips with the restructuring of our family, and then I'm going to actively seek social connections in town. I'm planning to volunteer extensively at the boys' schools, I'm going to join a Pilates class, and I hope to find a house to buy and fix up (I love doing renovation work) and make it into a good home for my family. It's just all going to take time.
Valerie, I found a TOPS group right up the street from me. They meet on Wednesday mornings, so maybe I'll go check them out next week. Thanks for the information.
Yesterday I decided to go on a bit of an Atkins induction phase for a week or so. That's always served me well to reduce water retention. After just one day, I dropped five pounds. I drank a lot of water yesterday and then spent a lot of time in the loo! Usually by the second day of Atkins my carb cravings start to pop up again, so I'm going to stay busy with meaningful activities and maybe keep some sugar-free Jello handy in the refrigerator for my late afternoon carb cravings.
I have noticed something recently. I've not really been sleeping well over the last few months and I know that when I'm really fatigued I tend to overeat. I've been really groggy in the mornings, and most days I don't feel so alert until late afternoons, and I'm wide awake in the evenings. And then it's really hard for me to get to sleep unless I'm really exhausted, which is usually around 2 or 3 a.m. I know, this is NOT a good schedule.
Anyway, on days when I don't start eating until well after 11 a.m., I've noted that I'm much more alert earlier and throughout the day. And once I start eating, especially carbs, I get sleepy again. I understand the importance of eating breakfast, but frankly, it doesn't feel like my engine gets started if I eat breakfast that includes carbs. But on the other hand, I've read that its best to eat carbs earlier in the day so that it can be used up, then taper off on carbs in the late afternoon and evening.
Maybe I should just listen to what my body is trying to tell me...
to all. I gotta get busy but will check back later for a better update.
It's got to be rough to be where you don't want to be with people you don't want to be with. I really don't know where you'd go to meet new folks. Church? Volunteer work? Hobbies? My best friends are either OLD friends (from grade school) or my SCA friends from my reinactment group. Hang in there!!!!
But at least I ate a boca burger and salad for dinner instead of having the onion rings. 