I am really finding all of the comments and stories here inspirational as I restart my own weight loss journey. And with about 20 pounds lost in January, I am on track and feeling pretty good & strong. I know I'm eating a healthy way and I'm successfully ramping up my work-outs. I feel on target to hit my 10lbs a month loss goal (I realize the 1st month is a fluke).
But mentally, I am really struggling....feeling very pessimistic. Its because I've done this so many times before, and somewhat successfully for periods of time. Most recently, I lost about 80 lbs two years ago over a six month period. But I stop. I regain. What is most distressing is that the last time really felt different to me....I wasn't being extreme, I was just eating healthy and eating less and adding activity and it felt extraordinary. Frankly, at times, it even felt easy. But I lost my way. Now, as I am getting back to that place and feeling good about my progress, in the back of my mind I fret that it won't last.
I was wondering if any of you who have had longer-term (i.e. more than 6 months!!!) successes at keeping up the weight loss or keeping off the weight loss have any insights to share. I imagine most of you struggled unsuccessfully in the past to shed the weight and transform your bodies....what made the difference the time you succeeded?
Good Morning Kim and Welcome
As I read your post here....I had to do a double take....were you sitting in my bathroom last night?? I was soaking in the tub with tons of bubble bath thinking over the past 5 weeks....of my weight loss journey. My hubby came in and said ok let's talk! He said you're doing so well...what's wrong. Well, I feel EXACTLY like you do. I can't seem to focus on what I have done without thinking it can't last. We spent over an hour discussing just that last night. I read that 90 % of the people that lose over 100 pounds gain it back within 2 years. OMG....how can this be? How can we teach ourselves and be so committed and follow a regiment and then just gain it back. I can't answer your question because I don't know the answer. I will watch the posts here because there are lots of before and after weight loss posts here, so someone is being successful. Maybe they will share this lesson.
I hope that you find YOUR journey and find that "WILL" from within to keep on doing this. I guess to me the only failure is not trying. Even a 10 % loss is a tremendous benefit to our bodies. I think the only thing for me is not "dieting" but making nutritional lifetime changes. This is not something that one "starts" and then finishes. It is a lifetime change.
I pray that God eases your mind and mine...and that we will find the grace to continue and rejoice in our efforts and focus on the benefits of even the tiniest acheivements.
Well, evidently you were both sitting in my bathroom this morning as well as I struggled with this. I'm doing everything right and I feel as though I'm making no headway. Worse, I wonder what the point is.... what makes this different from the last 2 times I've lost a ton of weight only to gain it all back?
I don't know what makes it different. I don't even know if it is different... but I do know that trying is better than doing nothing. That in the long run, I'm going to do this. As the old saying goes... "We may not have won the battle, but we WILL win the war."
I am looking at this journey differently this time - I think that's what makes the difference to me. Before I felt like there was an end - this is a personal journey for me - being good to me for the rest of my life. It has made such a difference to me since I was able to refocus and adopt that mindset - it has also helped when I struggle and certainly helps now as I'm dealing with an unwelcome 3 week plateau.
OMG - I know what you mean - I was thinking about this last night. About why I have 'failed' in the past. I was at the store trying on jeans/pants and I kept thinking OMG MY @$$ CAN'T BE THAT BIG! I have lost 8 lbs now and I have this mentallity that it should look like 80lbs. But it takes time and pateince with myself. I think, for me, it has been HARD to look within myself and deal with the things that hold me back. It is hard to work at eating healthy and exercising only to see that scale creep ever so slowly down. It's hard to separate food from emotions. It hard NOT to celebrate the victories by eating something bad and ruining the hard work. I think that most of us can say that we are not here because we were hungry all the time - we are here because of something else. And it's those things that we also need to face to change falling back into old habits and paterns.
Remember, too - you do not have to do it all at once. Little steps at a time can result in big change. And remember that you are not alone. Many of us face the same challenges and disappointments.
But all the hard work will be so worth it in the end...
This time it will be different, because WE will CHOOSE to make it different.
For me it was a combination of realizing that I really can do this and it doesn’t matter how long it takes. I have been at this for a little over 2 years now, and I haven’t been a speedy loser, but I am staying on my path, more or less, and keeping going.
It was all part of my click moment, which I have written about before. I was finishing my college degree as an evening adult student. I was in my last semester and it was taking a lot of time and effort. I would go to work, work until 5:00, head to school and be in class from 6:00 – 9:00 and then I would hit the library after that many times until midnight to study. Then repeat the whole thing over the next day. Not only was I doing these marathon days, my entire degree took me TEN YEARS to complete, going part time and also have to take a break for a few years. But there I was on the verge of finishing this huge thing - something that I had been able to find energy resources to complete that I didn’t even know I had. It was at the library late at night when all this occurred to me and the thought came into my head that if I could this, then can’t I apply the very same determination to weight loss?
I had always tried to do it really quickly and I would over stress myself and get demoralized. Now it doesn’t matter how long it takes, I know in a deep and quiet place in myself that I will get to where I want to go eventually.
The one other thing I have found that I also harp on about is that lasting change MUST come from a positive place in yourself. Many people start to lose weight because of a negative moment – seeing a picture of themselves they hate, not fitting a booth, not being able to keep up on a walk, etc. However, those feelings of personal negativity will not sustain a person through a major journey like this. You have to find a way to put all of that aside and start caring for and loving yourself NOW.
There are a lot more pieces to the puzzle, but then again we all have different puzzles and they are our own to figure out.
Thank you for starting this thread. So much of this journey is mental, and by that I mean tons of anxiety, self-doubt, bad memories. Just the sort of thing that can drive me to bad eating. I try to remember that I have had years of over-eating, throwing in the towel, weight related depression, so of course these things will tend to flood back for awhile. What do I expect? But that doesn`t mean it isn`t hard, my friends.
Somewhere I read a key concept. It is that belief is NOT the same thing as knowledge. We want to believe that this time will be different, that it is not even a "time" at all, but a life change. But the only way to have knowledge of this is to actually have accomplished it, which of course hasn`t happened yet. Does that make sense?
OMG....you know what I LOVE about reading these threads.... almost every time, there is something that just "pops out" to me....like a specific message meant JUST FOR ME! My little snippets of theology...to me. Things I read that I say, wow, let me write that down and remember it so that I can come back to it and be encouraged again and again.
Sometimes...I find myself thinking out loud...saying, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL....imagine how liberating that is....when...if you have had some experiences like myself....being a "person of size" as so many on these threads say...you feel like NO ONE knows your pain, and that you are going through this all alone. Skinny people can't possible understand! HA! But here....I find solace in knowing that ALL OF YOU...understand....some understand the feelings INSIDE of me better that I do! How can that be?
Sometimes I feel like saying...YES, YES, OOOOOOOOOH YES....
it has been said that...NO man is an island unto himself...I can't remember who said it....but I used to think i was so alone in this problem. Basically being the ONLY real person of size in a long line of family members, I always seemed to fade away from the limelight. I never liked the attention put on myself much and always made excuses not to go to reunions, get-to-gathers...parties, etc....knowing what everyone must be saying about me behind my back...but here...within these threads...something wonderful is happening. Sometimes I feel as if you are all my long lost sisters. Kindred Spirits...that know me and know me well! You speak words that I think. You express feelings that I have held in for years! They say that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world. I must have lots of twins...because here all of you are! Right here! Telling me things I need to hear, things I know I should already know....and telling it to me straight...and then offering a hug to console me! WOW!!!
Did I mention I LOVE LOVE LOVE this site!!!!
Thank you Nancy....for bringing to light that I am MY OWN PUZZLE TO FIGURE OUT! Dang if I know why I keep tying to shove that piece into place and it just doesn't GO THERE!!! It made me think about putting a puzzle together. Starting the outside edges first, because they always seem to be easier to do. Maybe starting our Nutritional Journey is like that. WE can make the little adjustments first...a little at a time. Everyone puts puzzles together differently. I remember Nigel and I doing a puzzle during the holidays...he methodically plugs along... (being the engineer that he is no wonder) And me...I dump them all out and sort by colors. I make lots and lots of little piles...piles of faces...or horses...or brick pathways...of buggies...of flowers...etc...so that when it is time, I can just look through all the face and people parts and put together a person. Maybe my weight loss efforts will be like that....I am compiling all these tidbits of splendid information and putting them all into groups and one day, they will all come together to make the wonderful puzzle that I am complete! WOW!! I like the thought of that!
And Nancy...you also said something...
lasting change MUST come from a positive place in yourself.
I never thought of that before. I have said to myself for years...that change comes in one of three ways...inspiration, desperation, or a combination of the two. Now I know I must find that Positive place inside of me...thank you!
SCraver...you said... This time it will be different, because WE will CHOOSE to make it different.
I think I will type that out and post it on the fridge!
and Carol...i sooo LOVE the idea of "being good to me for the rest of my life" as you said.
and Firedust...Trying IS better that doing nothing!! So RIGHT you are!
Did I mention I love this site and all of YOU?????
Thank you all for sharing. I feel like a leprechaun that has found the ultimate GOLD reserve...all this golden information I am gleaning from...thanks to ALL OF YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!
Cheerio
rainbowsmiles
rainbowsmiles:
Your post made me teary-eyed! Your optimism and healthy outlook on all this is very inspiring to me! The support that I have seen here on this forum, just blows me away.
There is go again... getting teary-eyed... What is wrong with me?
Even as a maintainer for the past 2+ years, I still feel the feelings that all of your ladies have mentioned. Is this a fluke? Am I going to gain it all back? Can I really do this? Why should this time be differant? It's enough to drive you nuts!
Yes, skinny people do have these feelings! (I prefer the world SLIM )
The only reason for losing, or maintaining, that has EVER made sense to me when I hit rock bottom, was to take care of myself. Physically and mentally. Sure, I might be able to eat like crap and not gain any pounds over the long term, but how did it make me feel? Awful. In order to really be at my best, I have to respect and nurture myself...and the best way to do that is by eating sensibly, exercising, surrounding myself with love, and enjoying life.
Especially in the beginning, of course I had my vane reasons for losing the weight. Now it's still about looking good, but it's MORE about being a whole, healthy being.
I agree with Nancy - you need to change negative thoughts and feelings to positive. Negativity breeds frustration and exhaustion. Love yourself now. Think positively. Act positively. STOP the negativity. Forgive yourself. Pick yourself up and keep going. We are all human.
You are all on the right track. You realize that is a lifetime change, not a short term project. You are dedicated and commited, and you work your butts off to acheive what you want.
It's always going to be some sort of journey. Just remember - it's not about where you end up, it's about getting there. Understand that weight takes time to come off - it took time to get there. Believe in yourselves. Arm your arsenal, and gather your support. Never feel like you're alone in this, because you aren't.
That's what works for me
Last edited by just_a_dreamy1; 02-08-2008 at 11:32 AM.
My moment was laying on a gurney in the Emergency Room staring at the ceiling wondering what it felt like to die. When I was 10 my father had a bad heart attack. He told me later that when you feel your life slipping away from you, you don't want to be thinking about the regrets of your life. He said he wanted to be thinking about my mom and us kids. That regret was like a cancer that destroyed your soul. As I laid in the same position 30 years later, all I had was regret. Regret of a life I hadn't lived because I had always put off doing things until I lost weight, and that never happen very often or for very long. I had a cardiologist enter the room, and tell me that there was nothing they could do for me. He was going to send me home to die basically. He actually said that "my character was too flawed" for him to help me. I had two choices--to live or die. I chose life. If the only exercise I could do was 5 seconds of flutter kicks laying in bed, then that was what I was going to do until I could do it for 10 seconds. I was no longer going to put off living. The hardest part was learning to tell myself the truth, that I really did eat like that, and learning to tell myself no.
I haven't acheived that magical goal weight, but I have maintained my 135 pound weight for a year and eight months.
I told myself this it IT. I'm done with weighing over 300 pounds. It's been long enough. I almost adapted a now or never attitude. I also told myself -- "Time is going to pass whether you are morbidly obese or not. You can be 350 by then or you can be a LOT smaller." I was miserable -- terribly out of shape, barely able to fit in my bathtub (and many other places), and I was so embarrassed of myself that I rarely went out, if I did, it was at night. I wouldn't go into a place if I saw too many cars in the parking lot. I didn't want to live like that anymore. I also told myself, if I invest in this change, it's going to be a permanent. I will not be going back, EVER. While I was losing, I always kept the thought of undoing all of my hard work in the back of my mind. I just wouldn't let that happen. I put blood, sweat, and tears into it, and there was not a chance in **** that I would let all of that turn out to be futile. I've had all sorts of ups and downs, thoughts of giving up, and obstacles in my way. I may have faltered, but I have never let myself forget that this is my life now. My investment is non-refundable. If I gain the weight back, I'll have lost so much more than pounds. I remember that feeling of gaining the weight back -- it spiraled me into a deep deprssion that almost single-handedly ruined my life. I won't let that happen again. If it did happen, I seriously doubt I would ever be able to do this again.
hello Harpochico...
WOW...stunning....you look HOT...what an inspiring thread to see your before and after pics...WOW thanks for sharing that.
As for your success...you are a very intelligent young lady....there is one thing you said that literally JUMPED OFF THE PAGE AT ME...
My investment is non-refundable.
I WILL hold onto that and repeat that as often as needed.
I LOVE this site!
YOU my dear lady are MUCH MUCH more stronger that you give yourself credit for. Read what you wrote. I see a very strong woman between those lines. Take your knowledge and share it with as many people as will listen. You have a beautiful story to tell. You ARE beautiful. Congratulations on your success and stay strong.
If the only exercise I could do was 5 seconds of flutter kicks laying in bed, then that was what I was going to do until I could do it for 10 seconds. I was no longer going to put off living. The hardest part was learning to tell myself the truth, that I really did eat like that, and learning to tell myself no.
I am sooooo right there at the moment....I work in a school and am on my feet all day and by days end its sooo hard for my body to actually work out.....I get short of breath & my ab is so sore....some days we have to use physical holds on our students (at times for 30mins at a time, break for 5 and then another 30mins to get them under control of a harmful behavior) This WEARS me out if we have one of those days...
What made the difference?
almost every time, there is something that just "pops out" to me....like a specific message meant JUST FOR ME! My little snippets of theology...to me. Things I read that I say, wow, let me write that down and remember it so that I can come back to it and be encouraged again and again. 
(I prefer the world SLIM 
)
