Oh well, I knew it wasnít going to last. The lovely weather has deserted us and we are back to everything being wet and grey. Oh well at least I fully enjoyed it while it lasted
Patti - how are you doing today, I hope you are able to work out on your treadmill again, that you got to use it yesterday
Donna - I hear you on doing great at breakfast and lunch, but then being too easily swayed at dinner time. I always find my downfall is in the evenings. I try to keep lots of low fat snacks in the house so at least that way if I do need to nibble nibble nibble I wonít go too far over my points.
Iím really sorry your foot is killing you and that you havenít had your appt to see the doc yet. I hope you hear something really soon
Also sorry to hear about how you are being messed around by the contractors who are doing your windows, etc. There was a time when the more money you spent meant the better the work etc, seems thatís not so these days I hope you can get something sorted out with them soon.
Battleax - well done on going out to the Japanese place and making such great food choices. Well I assume they were good choices I hadnít heard of half of them as Iíve never eaten Japanese food. The fact that you had the offer of having your left overs packed up shows how great you did though
Oh yes I am loving working out on the bike now that itís working as it should. I am happy doing half an hour a day on it, but as time goes on I am sure I will increase that, and the resistance I put on the wheel
Are you feeling emotional still? I know what you mean about feeling like you have wasted so much time being overweight. I am at the weight now that I was when I had my daughter 16 years ago. If only I had dieted successfully after the birth!! But I didnít, I just carried on gaining and gaining and gaining. But I try not to focus on that, and I focus on how I am finally doing something about it. Better late than never
Annie - I was amazed myself when I realised how quickly we did the walk, I guess last time I was much slower and needed a lot more breaks
How did you get on with your housework. I hope you got it all done. I donít know about you but I feel so guilty working out, or especially if I am on the computer and I know that I have chores to do. Luckily my house is small, so a good clean once a week, and the occasional vacuum when necessary after that is enough.
Idealmuse - you donít have to keep up with personals to post on the weekly thread. Pop in whenever you feel like it just to let us know how you are doing. As Heather said weíd rather hear from people than not! I know how long it takes me to do my personals and I am just lucky that I have that spare time. Most of the people here, including yourself donít, so nobody expects personal replies
Stacey - good for you for not feeling guilty about eating over your points. Itís good too that you ate because you needed to because of hunger, not from stress or any emotional issue. So for that
Ratkity - if you are doing so well without having an epiphany then just go with it Maybe youíll have your Ďlight bulbí moment further down the line when you need a bit more motivation to stay on track. I guess I kind of had an epiphany myself when I first started my diet. I had been ill for so long after surgeries, and long recoveries, and then one day I realised my wounds had healed pretty much and I should be able to start enjoying my life. Only I couldnít because my weight had become my disability. It really gave me the inspiration and willpower to diet thank goodness, otherwise Iíd still be 329 lbs, or even more by now Iíd guess.
SJ - I am sorry you had a bad day with your eating, but from your post I can see youíve got your head around it and are happily going to continue on with your diet Iím the same as you even a year later on my diet, hating when I see no loss on the scale after Iíve been a WW angel and especially when I have been exercising faithfully too. Quite a few times the scales not being nice have started me off on a bit of a binge. Itís so stupid really because how on Earth can eating more help me to lose weight Oh well one day Iíll get control of that part of my brain Until then if I have any undeserved bad WI days I will just hope that any binges afterwards will get smaller and smaller
Realist - thereís no reason that any one of us here have more chance at getting to our goal weights than you do. We all have to really be motivated to lose the weight, to do it for ourselves more than anything. I think weíve all spent years dieting and failing at them. One day we just get lucky, we have our Ďlight bulbí moments, or whatever and we can finally start shifting the weight and keeping it off. I NEVER thought I would ever be able to do it. But I am, and I know you can and will too. You may not have much confidence in your ability, but I have confidence in you
I am so very sorry to hear about your best friend passing away. I know it doesnít make it any easier, but try to focus on how fantastic, proud, happy, ecstatic her last years of life were. She was losing her weight, she was feeling amazing, she was happy for probably the first time in many years. So yes, complications after the WLS did kill her, but I am sure she never ever regretted having it done
Nancy - love your new avatar photo, you are looking amazing!!! I hope you are feeling a little less emotional today
Originally Posted by wyllenn
I guess what I'm trying to say is there's a balance. We DO need to be concerned about what we it and try not to go overboard. But we really don't have to beat ourselves up when it happens. If I did, I'd be one big bruise!!!!!
You give such great advice, you have such a great attitude, you truly are a wonderful help to me and I am sure everybody here on our weight loss journeys. I often read what you say to others and think DITTO! You say everything I want to, but do it far better for being here for us all
John - Iím really sorry that you had a really bad day yesterday. I hope today is a better one for you
Peggy - if I could arrange it Iíd happily take some of that hot humid weather from you Iíd deal with gains on the scale if only to have some lovely weather for more than just a few days for the whole of the summer Iím sorry you had that gain, but you said it, itíll be water weight, youíll soon shift that
Ok well itís lunch time now, Iíll catch you all later.
OK... checking in to let people know that I am still around, and still reading, and still caring about each and every one of you. I got a couple of emails from people recently and it reminded me that people still care and would like to know that things are going OK on my end. I think my main problem is that I WANT to write individual replies to people and when I get on here I am always in a rush, so I think to myself "No time for individuals today, so I'll do that tomorrow." Well, the same thing happens tomorrow and the next day and the next day... and so on...
I have decided to just write what I can, in the time that I have, and if I get some personal replies done, that will be great, otherwise I know you will all forgive me.
My start to the new school term was 'interesting' to say the least. I spent the first day, which was luckily a professional development day without the kids, in excrutiating pain. After telling a few people what it felt like, they told me to book an appointment with the doctor. The pains had started Friday night, then I had been OK until Sunday night, when they became really bad again. By the time I got to school on Monday I was pretty much constantly in pain and I had REALLY sharp pains in my abdomen. After a visit to the doctor that afternoon, and missing school the next day for an ultrasound, I was told that I had had an ovarian cyst, and it had burst. Oh boy!!! I do NOT want one of those again!!!! I have been told that it is possible that I will get more, and I am not looking forward to it if I do. Mind you, the other option was that the pains were just due to ovulation, which would have been even worse, because then it would have happened EVERY month. So I suppose there is a bright side to the situation.
Oh!!!! I have to tell you all that I have found a fantastic bonus to only having socks with walnuts in the end for breasts now that I have lost so much weight. (Sorry John, for all this 'lady' talk) I went for my first ever mammogram yesterday. I figured that I had pretty much had everything else checked out, and it is free, so why not go for it. I had been warned that it would be VERY painful, so I was prepared for anything, but all I felt was quite a bit of pressure and it was kinda uncomfortable. I suppose that my 'socks' were already pretty flat to start with, so it was easier for them to flatten even more. There has to be SOME benefit to having saggy breasts! Now I just have to wait for the results, but I have my fingers crossed that all will be OK.
I had my B12 tested again recently, as I was feeling really tired again. It was 'perfectly normal', and had come up a LONG way, so we worked out that I was probably just tired from the stresses of reporting time at school and the end of term rush. I also had my blood pressure tested and it is now 100/60, which I thought was a little low, but the doctor said it was wonderful, so I suppose I should feel pretty good about that. The doctor also reassured me that I didn't need to lose any more weight, as I still get it into my head now and then that I have to get to the 'normal' weight range (and ignore the fact that I have at least 20lbs of loose skin - thank you for sharing Zelma). It was reassuring to be told by a doctor that I am just fine where I am. I am actually thinking about raising my goal weight on my ticker, so it doesn't look as though I am so far from goal. I have gained about 10-15lbs (depending on the time of month) from my lowest weight, but people keep telling me that I actually look better now, because I was looking quite gaunt at 73kg (161lbs) and they had begun to worry about me. I am floating between 172 and 174lbs at the moment (I am 5'7") and I may just have to get used to that weight. I don't want to have the skin removed and I don't want to have to change my routine too drastically to get it lower, so I will maintain and see how things go.
Well, that is pretty much it about me for the moment I think. Things are going well at school. I am still offering to do this, that and the other, and getting my face out there, which I wouldn't have done before. The kids are still adorable, and they make me smile.
I had my last session with the clinical psych over the holidays, as she is very pleased with how I am going now. I still have the option of seeing her again if I want, as I have two more sessions covered by the state medical funds (I end up paying $20 a session). It is good to know that I have that option if I need it.
The weather here has been pretty dismal, but I suppose that is to be expected for winter. We have actually had 15 consecutive days of rain up until today, but today was GLORIOUS! We are expecting another couple of beautiful days, which will be a nice break before the rain comes again. We need the rain, to fill up the dams, so I don't really mind. It was just such a wonderful feeling to be able to walk to and from work again today. I had to laugh at myself as I set off this morning because I had trouble believing that this was the same person who a couple of years ago would have been calling my husband to come and pick me up because the sun was too bright (or some such silly reason).
Oh... I had a funny 'epiphany' the other day too. I was looking at myself in the mirror and (once again) admiring the outfit I was going to wear to work, when I realised that I found it hard to picture myself as my 'large' self anymore. It took me SO long to grow 'into' my knew body mentally, but now I must be getting used to it. The funny thing is that I remember all of the emotions that come with being larger, as though they only happened yesterday. The hurt, embarrassment, shame, anger etc, are still crystal clear. I wonder how long that takes to go away, or whether it will always be there, in the background.
Oh well... Off to bed for me now.
__________________ Zelma - Loving the freedom of being half the size I used to be!
Heather Ė Thanks for posting about your slip. At least it was wonderful bread and not something you didnít even enjoy too much. You are so right that what is important is to keep on going and not look at a slip as something that derails you. It has happened, it will continue to happen. It is learning how to move forward from it that is important.
Luan Ė I donít really think that fault is an issue. Going through something like that can be really traumatic.
Peggy Ė Yes, I too sometimes feel like SpongeNancyRoundPants (or should I say skirt, since I almost never wear pants). I am sure it is water weight. It has been really humid lately!
Ammi- At least you got out and enjoyed the weather while you had it! So far ok on the emotions on the emotions this morning. Weíll see how it goes. I stopped taking the pill as of last month and I am not sure how that will affect my hormones Ė especially now with the fibroids gone. Weíll see. If I end up REALLY moody I might consider getting back on, but I donít want to take hormones if I donít need them.
Patti Ė Way to go on getting back on the treadmill two days in a row! You will be back to your old routine before you know it.
Zelma Ė Thanks for posting! That is so cool that you are starting to be able to see the thin you now and having trouble picturing your old weight. I know from reading here that our mental image of ourselves is a huge issue for so many people even after they have lost the weight.
I ended up eating 4 fudgesicles and 2 creamsicles last night. They were sugar free and the calories didnít put me over my high limit for the day, but even so. . . if I hadnít run out of the fudgesicles I probably would have eaten more! It is the first time I have had something like that in the house for awhile and I have decided I wonít do it again. I would rather have a small real something every once and awhile. I also think the sugarfree part makes my body think it is getting sugar from the sweetness, and then when that doesnít happen it wants more.
Well, soup and fudgesicles notwithstanding, I am down another 3 pounds this week! I am SO EXCITED to FINALLY be out of the 270ís. I have lived here for almost 6 months and it was time to move on!!! Hopefully I will just be passing through the 60ís, as I am getting very excited about hitting that milestone of 100 pounds lost.
86 pounds down, now for the next bit - fourth short term goal (back to 100 down):
I'm too tired for personals today. I decided to go to West Edmonton Mall yesterday. It's about 45 minutes by bus with the transfers, but not too bad. I had never gone there by myself before. I ended up walking about 5 hours. I got lost once and realized when I was tired that I was about a 45 minute walk to the exit by the bus stop. That was bad planning. I feel like I've been run over by a bus. I did get to see the new rollercoaster. I had no desire to ride it. It spins around so it is different everytime you ride it. The water park was very full, as was the whole mall, and usually is. I only bought one thing the whole day, a travel sized blender. I went to the T&T supermarket which is a Chinese grocery store the size of a walmart. They have lots of prepared foods and deli bakery kinds of stuff. I told myself that I had burned enough calories to treat myself. I spent 20 minutes looking at pastries and dim sum, and eventually bought a 300 calorie sack of apple rings and a diet coke. I was really proud of myself. I'm listening to a baseball game and taking it easy today.
Thanks for understanding about the personals. I'm actually just sorta now crawling out from a quiet/depression rut thanks to wellbutrin and exercise. I didn't even have the energy to do anymore more then lurk here for awhile. Of course now that I've been opening my mouth on some of the other boards I feel like I've irked a few people. Oh well. What can you do?
Thanks for the treadmill suggestions. Its been so hot here but I'm not even sure I can afford one right now. I'm half thinking of joining the gym down the street for a month or two until the hot weather passes. Its not a great gym, but 30 bucks a month for the use of air conditioned tredmill space might be worth it. Our basement recently flooded and Im afraid to buy an expensive machine and have it ruined.
I reached 30lbs loss and 10 percent lost this week so I'm pretty excited. Hope everyone else is doing well this week...
Off to figure out how to fit in my exercise without getting heat exhaustion!
Half Iron Triathlete as of 7/2010
Training for Ironman Wisconsin!
I had a nice walk this morning, and upped the distance by a little bit. It is amazing how only a small amount of weight gone (relative to size) makes such a difference in the way I feel and my ability to carry out my exercise program. There for a while I was losing ground. My old argument used to be that even though I was fat, I was reasonably fit. However, truth be told, the exercising was becoming increasingly difficult to stick to and maintain.
I keep trying on the pair of size 24 pants in my closet, and there continues to be a 3" gap in the front zipper. The weight has been coming off my butt and legs, and my stomach has remained as big as ever. It wasn't that long ago that I was able to fit into size 24 so I just have to keep the faith that it's going to happen again.
Tonight is another challenge. A night out at a movie and restaurant. I'm thinking about the restaurants near the theater and where we can go that will fit my criteria.
Ammi: I'm not feeling emotional today. It comes in waves. I'm going to allow myself to feel the feelings as they come up for the time being. I don't think I am in danger of wallowing.
Good going on the exercise bike. Here, the weather is consistently nice enough for outdoor exercising for about 6 months of the year; then it rains a lot and the indoor exercising begins.
Zelma: you are so beautiful and a real inspiration.
Having enormous gazongas (as I do) also makes mammograms go easier. When there is something to easily squeeze between the glass, the test is more tolerable.
Nancy: Wow! Another 3 pounds! You are smokin'.
Toofat: good going on your exercise!
Catherine: oops on the overdoing it, but I bet you will have a nice loss this week.
Idealmuse: congrats on reaching a significant milestone. Great job!
size. I also am starting to find it harder to picture my larger self. I’ve been at roughly the same weight since November and I’m starting to get used to it. I’m also interested in your reassessment of your goal weight. I think I’m at or near mine, too, and I’m in the 170’s as well (though I think I’m a little shorter than you are…). I still want to lose a couple more pounds and get back into size 12s…
It sounds like you’re doing much better now and I’m glad to hear it!
Ammi – I’m glad you’re enjoying your bike now that you’ve fixed the resistance. And thanks for your kind comments. I always read your posts and think “How can she remember all that about everyone? She is so sweet!” Honestly, you keep track of people’s LIVES. A great gift indeed.
Nancy -- on being into a new decade. It sounds like your life is stabilizing a bit, and that can really favor weight loss. Good luck!!!
OH! And don't sweat the whole thing where people don't get everything you say or seem to disagree with you. I saw the thread I think you're talking about (at least one of them), and it seems like a) you are both saying the same thing; b) were expressing your views about you and not making a blanket statment and c) it's obvious people are trying to get out their views and understand others rather than "flame" each other and that is so much more productive in the long run.
I get misunderstood and disagreed with frequently (especially outside 300+), but I think if people know you're making a legitimate effort (which you are) it helps. Smileys help too! I almost never use them in my "normal" correspondence but find them very helpful here!
Catherine -- I'm glad you made it home safely! Good snack choice!
Idealmuse -- $30 a month for a couple of months sounds worth it to not derail your efforts! You're doing too well to be derailed now!
BattleAx -- You really do have to have faith it will happen. And how happy you will be then!
My 5 C's of healthy living: Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences
I really don't want to go to the gym tonight . . . but I think I will go anyway. I am hoping if I just get myself moving I will be ok. However, I am a bit tired so I may make it a light evening. It is supposed to be my lifting night, but I think I might postpone that until tomorrow. I just needed to post this to get the extra oomph to actually get me to go. Ok - I'm going now!
86 pounds down, now for the next bit - fourth short term goal (back to 100 down):
Hiya Ammi, oh well on your weather. You had a couple of nice days!! WTG on halving your walk time to Mumbles. Also YAY on getting that cool sexy bike going a half hour!! You rock! I'm sure it does help that there isn't a huge brake pad dragging on the front wheel. Poor Ammi.
SJBooty, I so understand that frustration when you've done everything right and the body doesn't cooperate. My recent pityparty didn't last long. I hope admitting your slip-up and just hopping back on the plan gets you back in "the mood".
Annie, you will do well with your surgery.. I just know it! I live in an area where there are lot of very experienced surgeons for all types of gastric surgeries. I hear a bizillion more success stories.
Real, you have the same chance as everyone else.. I swear! I hope today was the OP start you wanted
Nancy, yay for the vitamins!! Icky for the PMS (I crave soup and salt then too). I await your assessment on the yoga class. Go girl!! Stars for you for getting out of the 270s!!! YAY for going to the gym when you didn't really want to.
John, I hope today was better than yesterday for you!
Ohnoes Torister! Not a big round puffy sponge! I hate Mr.TOM. Sorry you are feeling icky.
TooFFU, yay for getting back on your TM.
Zed, you are gorgeous and an inspiration!! Keep up the great stuff you are doing for you!
Wow Catherine.. that's a lot of walking. Just reading about it made my feet and back ache. What a good snack choice! Ew for spinning rides.. that's what makes me get a sick tummy. I'll pass on that one.
Hang in there Ideal. I understand the energy (or lack thereof) thing. $30 a month is way cheaper than buying a new TM. Sorry to hear of your basement. I can't put mine in my basement as I'd hit my head on the ceiling!
Battle, w00h00 on the walking.
GoingTL200, sometimes, a nap is the answer to an overwhelming problem or task.
I had to work in downtown DC today. That means a lot of walking to the subway and then to the building. My back didn't like the chairs I had to sit in for the meeting I had to attend. I'm relaxing now. The good news is that despite having a lot of goodies there for snacks, I allowed myself some fruit and cheese (saved the points for those) AND... (ready?) had a salad for lunch and saved half for supper!! YAY! *flings stars for herself* I hate veggies. Oh, and it was a tosada salad and I didn't eat the shell or the refried beans. *throws more stars*
Zelma don't worry about me and lady talk I will admit it took me a week or so to understand what TOM was. I kept saying to myslef who is this Tom and how do they all know him and then it dawn on me and I was like Oh....
My friend had ovarian cysts that turn into ovarian cancer I hope you don't get anymore.
Ideal- wellbutrin is good stuff I was on it for a while. Tho I find when I start feeling better I'd stop taking it. Glad your here.
Rat- Good job on the salad and walking in downtown. It was so hot today thankfully the humidy hasn't hit yet. WTOP says the humidy will hit tomorrow tho.
"Its amazing what one can do, when one doesn't know what one can do." - Garfield the cat.
I am disgusted today--it is so hot and so sticky and no matter what I do I don't feel that I can get dry. I haven't even been able to do my housework--it's 87 degrees in my house. I've got the laundry going but that's it until it cools down.
I didn't work out today and I didn't do well on any kind of eating plan--except that I didn't eat a lot of calories, LOL. I started out eating low carb this morning by eating 4 slices of bacon and 2 string cheeses and I promptly blew it by skipping lunch because I was so busy with work, going to city hall, going to the chiropractor, so what did I do for dinner you ask? Well my wonderful bf is on his boat with his friends and I ended up eating a snack mix that was made up of pretzels, corn chips and goldfish crackers. I know that it's because I skipped lunch and just ate to fill myself up. Tomorrow is another day and I'll do better then.
Ammi--you asked me the other day why I was going to get the tummy tuck when I was so far from my goal weight. I've been thinking about why I'm going to do it now. When I went for the consultation I fully expected the doctor to tell me that he could perform the surgery after I'd lost about 40 more lbs. I figured that would get me close to 200 lbs. or under and it would be acceptable to get the surgery then. Imagine my surprise when the doctor was surprised at the shape I was in. He pinched my abs and lifted up my "pouch" and he poked at my back. He told me that I don't have that roll of fat along the back of my butt. My back still has a little bit of fat but nothing really major--meaning that I can lose that on my own. The amount of fat that he pinched in my abdomen was actually about 3 inches and he said that I wouldn't ever be able to lose more than half of that on my own. He did say I would never be able to lose my "pouch" on my own. Now why am I having it now? I have to go for a yearly physical every year for my job as a bus driver. My doctor told me that my BMI is about 43%. He was really rude to me until I said, "Hey! You don't know me and you've never seen me before, but I used to weigh 357 lbs. and I'm still losing weight," yada, yada, yada...Anyway--he said that my stomach would get bigger and interfere with my driving. so anyway, when the doctor said he could do it I kind of said okay right away. Not only that, but I really need this for myself. I know that so many of us here have lost the weight and gotten to goal and can deal with the excess skin and all, but I really just want my stomach gone. I honestly get so depressed sometimes thinking about how much weight I've lost and how I'm still in a size 24 jeans (the fitted ones--I can fit in capri's that are a size 18-20 because they are the stretch jeans) and maybe it's just that I'm really tired of it, if you know what I mean? I restarted my diet and exercise program as of 2 days ago and I am going to be able to lose the weight in my legs and arms and back faster because my stomach will be okay, you know? I don't think that everyone will agree with it and I don't even think that a lot of people would do it right now, but I've given it a lot of thought and I really do think it's the best thing for me physically but more importantly mentally. And like I said, the doctor was surprised because I guess I'm not as bad off as he thought I would be when he came in and saw me with my clothes on.
What he's going to do is remove the pouch, perform some liposuction on my abs, he's going to pull skin down from my abdomen area and he's going to pull skin up from my pelvic area so that area will be firm. (I'm really happy about that part ) He is going to stitch my abdominal muscles together so that they'll be tighter and he's going to re-make a belly button for me.
I think it was Nancy who asked if she should start a savings account for a procedure like this and the answer is a resounding YUP! YES! DEFINITELY! The operation is going to cost $9000. The doctor's fee is $5800 and the hospital stay will account for the rest. Normally it's a procedure that you would go home that night after, but because it's such a large piece of tissue that's being removed and he wants to be more safe than sorry. I guess he's worried that my body will go into shock or something. I personally am kind of happy about that. I don't want to worry about anything the first day. If I didn't have to stay in the hospital it would only cost about $7600. So like I said, save $$ if you can.
Okay, I know that Catherine was just accepted into a Masters Program for theology (am I right about the program) and I just wanted to say congratulations. You can and are doing everything that you want. Good for you! All of your walking however-yeah--you tired me out just reading about it. Excellent job in making a good choice on a snack. I am so proud of you and I wish I had your will power. Keep up the good work.
Ammi--(again ) Girl you look so good and I am so proud of you and how god you're doing. Inspiration thy name is Ammi. I'm glad you're enjoying your bike now and I have to applaud your commitment to adding that extra half hour to your workout.
Annie--your doing so well and I know you'll be one of the successful stories with the GBS. I know 4 people who've had it and only 1 person had any type of complications--and that was only because they knicked her spleen while they were in there so...keep us updated and know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.
I was going to type more personals but honestly I am exhausted. I'll try to come by tomorrow and post because I just have got to take a nap. (Does anyone know if we have a sleeping smilie?) Anyway, I'm thinking of all of you, Luan, Zelda, John, Jill, Wyllen, everyone. Have a great night.
Two trackers--the first is to lose 10% of body weight goal, and the second my ultimate goal.
One CHEER for each 10 lbs. lost. None yet...