I haven't posted in a while - been pretty busy with the gigs (whoo hoo! lots o' singing is a good thing). Anyhow...there's been something bothering me that I thought I would bring up for discussion.
It's the age-old "she's got such a pretty face."
I've been a little down lately because I'm alone.....single. So many people around me are getting engaged and married....lots of my friends. While I'm SO happy for them, it's a little depressing for me because I'm single. Not dating anyone. I'm generally ok with that. My life is so crazy and hectic with music, that I usually don't have time to think about it.....but now, approaching my 30th birthday it does.
Being single isn't the thing that bugs me so much, it's the fact that everyone keeps saying: when you're thin, the men will be beating down your door. Yes, that's the reality of our society....and although I'm sure everyone reading this will come to my defense and tell me what I need to hear, I think we all realize that the larger percentage of the masses would find me more attractive if I was thin.
As I lose more and more weight, I think this is going to become more of an issue. WHO I am hasn't changed.....just what I look like and how I care about myself. I've never been down on myself because of my weight. I know I'm attractive, and I really do think I have a lot to offer someone.
I just think that once I start getting attention because I'm *thin* I'll be very wary of it. Almost like the focus has shifted. Before men wouldn't go out with me becuase of what I looked like......now (talking in the future) they go out with me because they DO like the way I look. What about WHO I am? Is that going to matter?
Anyhow....this is just something I'm starting to struggle with. I know there are men out there who like larger women, but my experiences with those men have been BAD.
I'm curious if other people are struggling with this issue...a new self-image problem.
I've enclosed a pic too. Thanks for reading......I really do appreciate it!
P.S> Please note: I do NOT feel bad about myself......I feel bad about how I am perceived as a woman and potential dating partner through society!