Hmm well I'm relosing weight, so I know my exact goal. I still have some self-anger for gaining the weight due to hard times in personal, work and financial stresses, but I shouldn't - I don't feel that way about other people, so I shouldn't feel that way about myself. This feels nothing like when I "first lost" these lbs - feels almost fake to me, whereas when I first lost the remaining lbs, it felt more real. But nope! the water weight is gone and its the final fat that is left - regain or not, its all so very real.
I guess overall, I feel irritated/bitter, but with no desire to "go back" Oddly enough, it is my healthier habits that feel NORMAL rather than the 20+ yrs of unhealthy habits. So basically, I feel back to "normal" and weight swinging up doesn't cause any sort of binge-temptation to me, but its just a downer.
OP, I totally get the fear, but if its of any consolation, at the worst, you just "relose" and you already know the habits to get yourself back to goal. You totally have the power and congrats to you for making awesome progress and maintaining that! Personally, I actually see my thinner self as the new normal and the "old fat identity" actually wore off quicker than I thought it would! =)
I listened to my gut and it said "You could do with less of me."