3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 30-Somethings

Rant - kinda diet related, but mostly not....

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-06-2013, 10:02 AM   #1
Senior Member
 
zoesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gainesville, GA
Posts: 1,121

S/C/G: 293/ticker/170

Height: 5'6"

Angry Rant - kinda diet related, but mostly not....



Oh...I am annoyed.

I have a "friend" who has been a thorn in my side longer than I can remember. The only reason I associate with her is because I adore her husband and kid and think of them as family. She...well...she is beyond my tolerance threshholds.

First, she has had a crush on MY husband since she was first introduced to him when we first started dating 8 years ago. He got D-R-U-N-K to high hades the day she met him, as I had brought him to a party she was throwing and she enticed him to bed that night after I had passed out, WHILE she was married and her husband in the NEXT room! He woke the next morning and felt ill...he didn't remember the night and has literally spent EVERY day since that time disgusted with the fact he slept with her as he does not find her attractive, he thinks her personality is lacking in so many ways, and he feels she took complete advantage of him when he had lost all inhabitions. I believe him. You outta to hear the venom in his voice when he talks about it.

A few days ago, her husband shows up at our house. Hubby hasn't drank to the point of drunkenness since that night eight years ago and decides on a whim to get plastered. So, her husband and my husband make a drinking game. About 4 hours pass and she suddenly shows up unannounced at our house (it is 1 am.) She notices my husband is beyond intoxicated. Anyways, the night (morning) goes on and her husband passes out on the couch. I am watching a movie and trying to fight passing out as well. Hubby had moved into the bedroom about 30 ago to get away from the eyes of this "friend" and because he was getting to the point he was dizzy and getting the drunken tilt-a-whirl. I wake up probably mintues after the movie ended (and it didn't have much longer to go) and see that both the husband and "friend" are no where in the house and proceed to make my way to the bedroom and...
SHE IS NAKED IN MY BED TRYING TO ENTICE MY HUSBAND TO HAVE SEX!!!! In his defense, it didn't happen. He was under the covers and trying REALLY hard to tell her to back off. It was obvious he didn't feel well, it was obvious he couldn't sit up if he tried, it was obvious he had no interest. She jumps up exclaims, "NOTHING HAPPENED!" and proceeds to rush to get dressed and out my door. I am lividly shaking at this point. This is TWICE she has tried to lay hands on my man while he is too drunk to move! Anyways, once again he is innocent, trust me on this. I had to help him to the shower because he was disgusted she had touched him. He couldn't walk he was so drunk. I swear....isn't that date rape?

Anyways...so if she hasn't found the easiest way to jsut piss me off she turns around last night to just find yet another way to annoy the ever loving heck out of me.

I posted on FB that I had lost 55 pounds, and where as I don't find it to be a lot, I am proud of the number and amazed I could do it.

ALWAYS has to find a way to outshine any and everyone and find a way to wiggle to the front line.

She posts on MY timeline she “understands” as she has lost 63 pounds and doesn’t see any change.

First off, go post on your own timeline. Second, no. Not at all. She does not understand. I SEE the difference. I FELL the difference. I KNOW the difference. I WORK for the difference through a tough as nails diet and insane amounts of exercise. She takes pills and hasn’t changed her way of eating or moving once. Third, this was MY accomplishment, MY shinning moment post. Go find your own FB and stop pigging backing off MY success.

And stay AWAY from MY husband!!!!!!

GAH!!!!!!!!!

(If it wasn't for the fact I adore her husband and kid, I SO would have no dealings with her. I am really begining to think I can actually hate someone. I so hope her husband gets rid of her @$$ after all of this....)
__________________



Stage 1: Mini Goal 1: 265 pounds - complete 1/12/13; Mini Goal 2: 250 pounds - complete 4/17/13; Mini Goal 3: 225 pounds - completed 10/21/13
Stage 2: Moderate Obesity BMI - completed 11/26/13; ONDERLAND; Overweight BMI
Stage 3: work in progress

One for every 10 pounds lost:

Last edited by zoesmom : 06-06-2013 at 10:07 AM.
zoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 10:35 AM   #2
Enjoying la bella vita
 
nationalparker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,527

S/C/G: 179/163/150

Height: 5-4

Default

With friends like that, who needs enemies as the saying goes. Perhaps you need to make the step of only getting together with them at public places and not at one or another's homes. I would find myself hard-pressed to continue any relationship even for the benefit of the good times with the rest of the family, as that invites her back into the fold. Sounds like you need to make the hard decision and just cut that link with them. It must be okay with her husband if he puts up with that (it certainly isn't only with your husband, I'd imagine...) ... and if that's the case... it won't end.
Good luck. And keep shining on about the 55 down - that's wonderful!
__________________
nationalparker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 10:47 AM   #3
Graduate TA
 
PUPMOM5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Granite City, IL
Posts: 447

S/C/G: 279/163.4/140

Height: 5'5"

Default

I don't think any amount of liking her husband or son is worth the damage she is doing / will continue to do to you and your relationship with her husband. Absolutely, cut this awful person out of your life. Congrats on the weight loss!
__________________
Mini-goals: Lose 10% of weight (27.9lbs) Achieved 2/28/13 - Lose 50lbs total Achieved 4/30/13 - Lose 75lbs total Achieved 7/24/13 -
Reach Onederland! Acheived 8/14/2013 - Lose 90lbs total Achieved 9/27/2013 - Lose 100lbs total Achieved 11/23/13 - Reach a healthy BMI -

PUPMOM5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 10:59 AM   #4
Senior Member
 
zoesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gainesville, GA
Posts: 1,121

S/C/G: 293/ticker/170

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nationalparker View Post
With friends like that, who needs enemies as the saying goes. Perhaps you need to make the step of only getting together with them at public places and not at one or another's homes. I would find myself hard-pressed to continue any relationship even for the benefit of the good times with the rest of the family, as that invites her back into the fold. Sounds like you need to make the hard decision and just cut that link with them. It must be okay with her husband if he puts up with that (it certainly isn't only with your husband, I'd imagine...) ... and if that's the case... it won't end.
Good luck. And keep shining on about the 55 down - that's wonderful!
Her husband was actually very unaware of this second incident. He had left prior to me waking up from my cat nap during the final moments of the movie. I called him beyond ticked wanting to know if he knew what his wife had just done moment prior, which of course, he didn't until I told him. The first time this happened, they went through counseling and all that jazz. Everyone was under the impression it was a one time ordeal and everything had been resolved...until the other night. I don't know what he plans to do, but it is obvious he is not all that happy over it and his anger is directly soley at his cheating wife. In fact, he is currently staying at a friend's house while he sorts out what he wants to do. He is pretty ticked (and hurt) as well, so I don't fault him. He is just as much a victim as both my husband and me. The thought of cutting them out of my life because of her...wow. I could if I had to. And I may have to. But gods, I don't want to. Their son thinks I am his aunt and my kid is his cousin. I am CLOSE with the husband and son. But, to keep my marriage from being destoryed by this posionous...oh I wish I could say that word...I may just have too...

I guess what really gets my goat is she is acting like it never happened. Can't apologize. Can't call to talk it over. And still trying to find a way to be #1 in everyone's eyes. It is disgusting!

But thank you, PUP and national for the support and encouragement. Normally I don't air dirty laundry, but the more I think on this, the more pissed I get. Who does a suppossed friend like that???
__________________



Stage 1: Mini Goal 1: 265 pounds - complete 1/12/13; Mini Goal 2: 250 pounds - complete 4/17/13; Mini Goal 3: 225 pounds - completed 10/21/13
Stage 2: Moderate Obesity BMI - completed 11/26/13; ONDERLAND; Overweight BMI
Stage 3: work in progress

One for every 10 pounds lost:
zoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 10:59 AM   #5
F - Yeah, I'm doing this.
 
Silverfire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 1,109

S/C/G: 297/*Ticker*/175

Height: 5'10"

Default

Wow. Just wow. Some people.

This chicks husband has no problem with the fact that she tried to rape your husband? How is this guy still with her? Blows my mind.

If it was me in your position, I would tell the other husband what she did straight up, and tell him that you still would love to be friends with him, and have his son over to play and all the good stuff, but that there is no way you will even speak to his so called wife. Ever.

Cut this crazy beotch loose and save yourself from the emotional rollercoaster she has put you on. No one should have to put up with that crap. Ever.

Congrats to you on your 55lb loss too Keep it up!

Good Luck!
__________________

10lb Weight Loss (287) √ | 20lb Weight Loss (277) √| 35lb Weight Loss (262) √ | Class I Obesity BMI (250) √ |
50lb Weight Loss (247) √ |
60lbs HALFWAY THERE | 65lb Weight Loss (232) | Overweight BMI (223)
| 85lb Weight Loss (217)
|ONEderland (199) | 100 Pounds Lost (197) | NORMAL BMI (185)
| 120lb Weight Loss (177)

One for every 5 lbs lost

F You Fatness
Silverfire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 11:03 AM   #6
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11

S/C/G: 275/270/160

Height: 5'6"

Default

Whew... I agree that you need to keep her out of your house, only in public places, and dont drink with them! She sounds like she isnt going to knock it off.. after 8 years! Does her husband know about this or is he in the dark?

And congrats on the weight loss! I would block her on FB.
MayDay14 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 11:08 AM   #7
Gettin' it done!
 
amandie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Near St. Louis
Posts: 2,784

S/C/G: HW- 242 Restart SW:166 7/24/14

Height: a little over 5'2

Default

OMG. I'd be pissed and shaking too!!!

Agree with all of the above advice esp about not letting her in your house, public places and no drinking with them!!!

Oooh, I feel very angry for you.
__________________


Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.- Winston Churchill
amandie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 11:12 AM   #8
Senior Member
 
zoesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gainesville, GA
Posts: 1,121

S/C/G: 293/ticker/170

Height: 5'6"

Default

Silverfire - that's pretty good advice. Don't know why I didn't think of that. I just got wrapped up in the fact I would have to talk to her to see the son. Never thought that his dad has equal say in the matter.

MayDay - No one, not even her husband knew she planned on showing up at our house. I mean, he DID tell her where he was and what he was doing, but knowing she didn't get off work until midnight, no one thought she'd randomly show up at our house at 1 am...I mean, who does that?! By the time she had shown up, my husband was ripped (as was hers.) Difference is, my husband kept drinking and hers stopped. No one else touched a drop (messes with my medications and I don't know her reason.) Needless to say, I really think the next time I see her, I might end up in a bit more than a simple cat fight. The more I think on it, the more it REALLY bothers me. She abused my husband. She disrespected us, in OUR house. I am just..GAH!
__________________



Stage 1: Mini Goal 1: 265 pounds - complete 1/12/13; Mini Goal 2: 250 pounds - complete 4/17/13; Mini Goal 3: 225 pounds - completed 10/21/13
Stage 2: Moderate Obesity BMI - completed 11/26/13; ONDERLAND; Overweight BMI
Stage 3: work in progress

One for every 10 pounds lost:
zoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 01:42 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
BreathingSpace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 506

S/C/G: 183/166/135

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PUPMOM5 View Post
I don't think any amount of liking her husband or son is worth the damage she is doing / will continue to do to you and your relationship with her husband. Absolutely, cut this awful person out of your life. Congrats on the weight loss!
I agree, enough is enough. Honestly, as much as you like her husband and son, this whole saga sounds completely toxic. She is affecting not only you but YOUR family, and I would cut her and her family out of your life.

I know you would still like to hang around the husband/kid and I saw advice above on just hanging around him and having nothing to do with her, and yes you can try that, but I gaurantee she will get in there somehow - you will never be free of her.

And no question about it BLOCK and delete her on FB. I can't believe you even have her on there in the first place, ugh.
__________________
"There is simply no way for the scale to accurately measure the most beautiful part of your spirit".

Check out my BLOG here for weight loss woes, yoga and life!


Last edited by BreathingSpace : 06-06-2013 at 01:45 PM.
BreathingSpace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 02:43 PM   #10
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 55

S/C/G: 275/264/160

Height: 5 ft 9 inches

Default

Wow zoesmom.....I dont know what to say except that I truly feel for you (((((hugs))))). I agree with what one of the other ladies said "with friends like that who needs enemies". I went through something similar when I was married....my ex sister in law kept trying to force her friends on my husband and he let her, didnt do anything about it. When I came back to my ex mother in law's place one day and found out about it, my ex husband and ex sister in law made it out like it was no big deal and that this chick went after my husband of her own accord - and this chick was all over him and didnt get off him when I stepped in the door. Good thing I had the guts to leave him (though it was several years later). With this experience I learned to get rid of toxic people out of my life as soon as they did something that I intuitively felt it was wrong. At this point I can honestly say I am pretty much a loner and I have virtually no friends - and I'm ok with that. For your sake zoesmom I hope things get better....you maybe need to distance yourself from these toxic people and please dont take this the wrong way but some therapy might help you to get this off your chest. Oh and before I forget, congrats on the weight loss girl

Last edited by Missys Mom : 06-06-2013 at 02:46 PM.
Missys Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 04:01 PM   #11
Wild Angels
 
NemesisClaws's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 557

Height: 5'2

Default

Whew! Ok...for my two cents....

Block her skanky *** immediately on facebook. Make sure you have your settings set to private. Now, if you have her husband and son on there, she will still see postings you make in replies to them, but she won't see any actual posts that you make yourself. You don't need her toxic in your life.

Secondly, your husband could actually take this to a lawyer and call it attempted rape. But if he doesn't want to do that, I understand. But under NO conditions do you ever allow this woman back into your house. Be firm with her husband about it and explain why to him in case he needs some reminding....Carry on with your friendship with him and his son, but make sure her skanky *** knows the minute she steps foot in your path you're putting a restraining order on her.

Which by the way, kinda begs the question...how often has she pulled this stunt with other people?
__________________
NemesisClaws is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 05:20 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
zoesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gainesville, GA
Posts: 1,121

S/C/G: 293/ticker/170

Height: 5'6"

Default

thank you EVERYONE for your support and advice. The more responses I get, the more I agree....she needs to be left on the sidelines, I don't need her in my life and she WILL be the downfall of my marriage if she continues in it. I KNOW my husband was an innocent. I KNOW he is disgusted. I KNOW he was a victim both times. I KNOW he wasn't to blame. And I harbor no ill will towards him...but it breaks my heart watching him fret with worry over something that wasn't his fault. And she KNEW what she was doing...in my house at that! Like...I wouldn't find out? SERIOUSLY?!

I know he is a homebody. He NEVER goes anywhere without me. Literally. He is a narcoleptic. I have to drive him everywhere. I had to quit my full time job and take up random part time jobs so I can be able to drive him back and forth to his work and his doctor appointments. I know where he is 24/7, so it isn't like I am in some sort of denial that he had any active part in this or anything. Plain and simple, she tried to use him to gain whatever means.

Nemesis - I mentioned a restraining order and filing a rape charge to my husband, but he lives in the 14th century where that can't happen to a man. Even though he knows better than most that it can. He is a good looking guy, I got lucky when I found him. I'm always catching women giving him eyes, but I don't care. I KNOW where his heart lies. And the running joke for years is our computer is his mistress (he is a total geek.) He simply does not have any interest in other women. Truthfully, he is terrified of women and has a complex, thinks most are out to get him. So, he isn't the macho kind and is EASILY taken advantage of. Yet another thing that ticks me off. She knows this about him.


But in any case, I have made it well know she is to not contact hubby or me ever again. She is to not come to my house. And I have made it clear to her husband that he and the son are welcome over anytime, but under NO circumstances is she ever welcome over here again. She is blocked from my FB and I have her email addy marked as spam.

I am just sickened the more I think on this. She was actively trying to ruin my relationship. No doubt in my mind now.

And perfect question...how often HAS she done this to other people? And how much does her husband truly know?
__________________



Stage 1: Mini Goal 1: 265 pounds - complete 1/12/13; Mini Goal 2: 250 pounds - complete 4/17/13; Mini Goal 3: 225 pounds - completed 10/21/13
Stage 2: Moderate Obesity BMI - completed 11/26/13; ONDERLAND; Overweight BMI
Stage 3: work in progress

One for every 10 pounds lost:
zoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2013, 10:59 PM   #13
Wild Angels
 
NemesisClaws's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 557

Height: 5'2

Default

I'm glad you have her out of your lives. Some folks are just not worth the time and energy. But what bothers me about this situation is her apparent comfort and ease in doing this. Which, considering in your situation, there was a time lapse of several years here between incidents, made me wonder if she pulled this with someone else...

Hopefully her husband has gotten wiser and given some thought over his marriage situation. I don't normally advocate divorce, but there are some situations where it's the only option left.
__________________
NemesisClaws is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2013, 07:53 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
GlamourGirl827's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Under the Sea
Posts: 1,706

S/C/G: 215/baby/130

Height: 5' 6" on a good day

Default

hmmm, I wouldn't care if she was married to Jesus Christ himself...I would not stay friends with anyone that tried to do that...period.
__________________



2007- 230 lbs to 160 lbs after baby #1 Boy
2010- 220 lbs to 145 lbs after baby #2 Boy
2013 - 215 lbs to 157 lbs after baby #3 Boy
Baby #4 - It's a Girl!

~Running for 2 now~
CW: 188lbs



GlamourGirl827 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:38 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2