Ok so I have never actually done an introduction thread. And although my 30th birthday isn't until August I feel like I better relate to 30 somethings than 20 somethings and felt this was the best place to post an intro thread.
I have been on this website multiple times in the past and have yet to be consistent and see real lasting results. (this is in no way a fault of 3fc, only a fault of me who has yet to really stick to a plan and see it work)
Right now I feel I am at a place that I need to do this. I thought so many times in the past that I was fed up enough/ motivated enough/ wanted it enough that I was going to lose this weight. But everytime in the past I lost maybe a little and then gained it all back. And sometimes plus some. Currently I am plus some. I weigh more right now than I have ever weighed in my entire life.
It is time for me to stop the insane and destructive cycle of losing a pound or two, feeling good, not following through with the diet and exercise, gaining weight back, wallowing in self hatred and punishing myself for failure by gaining more weight. So I have decided that, while working on this weight loss I also need to practice loving and forgiving myself. Without changing that behavior I wont be able to get to the place I want to be. Here is something that I put together this morning and for me it is something I plan to read aloud everyday.
"I am going to get off all of these extra pounds. But before I can do that I am going to forgive myself for the past. Look with hope and determination to the future. And remind myself everyday why I can never go back to self hatred and guilt again. I am human. I am fallible. I expect to mess up again. And I will learn to love myself in spite of the failures and with all the success. My body does so many good things for me. It deserves to be treated with respect. It deserves to be feed healthy and nourishing foods. It deserves to be moved in a way that keeps me strong, lithe and enables movements and health for years to come. My body doesn't deserve harsh judgments. I may have things I want to change. But talking down to myself. Vocalizing my disgust at parts of my body that I dont like to see. That isnt what I deserve. I deserve respect and I deserve to act and speak kindly towards myself, and vocalize the things I do love about my body. While working towards taking action to change the ones I want to see changed. And most of all, I will love myself exactly as I am. I'll accept that this body with it's faults is still the only one I've got. And as I work toward my goals up to change my habits and reshape my body to it's fullest potential, I WILL love my body along the way."
Anyways, I wanted to share this because I want to be accountable to it. Accountable that I read it each day so posting it and declaring I am doing so seemed a good way to enable this.
Thanks to any who bear with me and red through all this!