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Old 12-13-2012, 01:04 AM   #1
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Default A night out with friends

Tonight I went to see Life of Pi with my brother and two of our friends. I budgeted calories for a small popcorn but what I wasn't counting on was going to a pub afterwards. As soon as that came up I felt unprepared. I knew I had no calories left to spend and didn't fancy being the one sitting there drinking water while everyone else made merry.

So we get to the pub and everyone orders alcohol. I order a diet coke. Then the two who are small order food. Food comes and it's all I can do not to reach over and help myself to someone else's plate. But when food is offered I don't say no. I eat one chicken wing and a quarter of a quesadilla.

Thats not enough. I start to get angry. Why can't I eat? Why is the skinniest friend eating the most? What gives her the right?!? The two of us who are bigger aren't eating but the other biggish friend does have two beers. One of the two eating ends up leaving a little on her plate and when the waitress asks if she's done it takes great effort for me not to say "I'll finish it!"

It was a challenge and I don't feel totally happy with how it turned out. I don't like that I ate even though I could have eaten a lot more. I also didn't like my getting angry. Dieting is my choice not something that has been forced on me. I am benefitting. I didn't choose to get fat but I did make decisions that led me to this place. But I felt like I was being punished.

Fortunately I can still say I had a good time and that I came in under 1600 cals (but my goal is always 1200). I am however bummed cuz I havnt achieved 1200 since Friday and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna maintain or gain this week.

My first two weeks of dieting went so smoothly that I erroneously thought that this was gonna be easy. Boy is it hard. When I eat alone I do much better but last night I was alone and went over 1200 too. Rats, rats rats!
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:56 AM   #2
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Instead of thinking that you deserve to eat what you want, change that to you deserve to be thinner and feel good about yourself. Don't compare yourself to the shell of your friends. (We don't say, how come she knows that and I don't and get miffed about that - we're all different and face different challenges.)

Also - 1,200 calories is low - that will be hard to maintain and might be part of the issue. As you drop weight and then drop calories to balance, that will be very difficult to eat under that and still get in the nutrients, fiber, etc., that your body needs. That might not be realistic, especially if you do any sort of activity. You don't want to be setting yourself up to fail, rather than succeed.

So close ... now so far!
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:18 AM   #3
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1600 is not horrible. I would aim for arount 1500 at your weight, maybe 1350-1400 on low days. Drop lower as you drop sizes.

You deserve to be healthy and stop comparing your self to others. Make small and consistent changes and the results will come. A little indulgence is OK.....its the overall habit that makes or breaks you.
FALL 2011: Started running and CC
JUNE 2013 over 83 pounds lost! GOAL!!!!
Next Goal: maintain 90 pounds lost.

Last edited by dstalksalot; 12-13-2012 at 09:19 AM.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:20 AM   #4
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I know you're unhappy about it, but it sounds like you managed to show a considerable about of self-restraint and you should be proud. You planned as well as you could, but life happened and you still managed to stay below a resonable calorie amount. I really, really doubt you'll gain on 1600.

Today is a new day. It doesn't matter what came before. Stick to your 1200 today. You're doing a great job!
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:53 PM   #5
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You guys all make good points. I guess if I gain at 1600 that means I was losing too fast and eating too little. I want this to be sustainable.

And now that some time has passed I actually do feel knda good that I didn't eat more. But I need to change my thinking and not feel deprived when I see other people indulging. There is gonna be a lot of that the next few weeks cuz of the holidays. When I meet my calorie goals or almost do, and see other people eating freely, I feel superior. I don't like that either. I mean it feels good, but it seems a little nasty.
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:02 PM   #6
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Social situations, especially those involving alcohol, are the hardest!!

I think you did a pretty good job!! I will say that as your friends get used to your changed eating/drinking habits, it gets a lot easier. Try diet coke and Captain or cranberry and vodka. There are calories but you can still be social. Or when people ask what you're drinking tell them its Jack and Coke when it's really diet coke - they won't know the difference. lol Or a lot of times, I just say that I don't feel like drinking and offer to be DD - everyone loves me then! Not that you can't ever drink anymore, but just keep it to the days when you have budgeted for it.

I have a VERY hard time controlling what I'm eating when I've been drinking - especially a good, dark beer or wine. Food just seems to go so well with it. So, in those situations, I try to just not eat anything and ignore the food and just socialize. Once you say that you're not hungry, people will usually leave you alone. Or you can tell a white lie and say your stomach hurts. Once I have just a small bite of anything, the floodgates open and I have no self control. I think you did a great job having just a little!

(I don't want to make it sound like I lie all the time, I've just found that its easier to tell a white lie than to have all of the focus on me and my body and my weight loss and my choices. Once you've lost a significant amount of weight, it gets old fast. At least for me. And of course, it depends on who I'm out with. If its my close friends, we're probably already talking about our weight loss efforts anyway. If its someone more at a distance, they don't need to know.)

And finally, this is a lifestyle change and not a diet - so find a happy medium you're happy with. Whether it's still doing it but not as often or finding a modification you're okay with, do that. Cutting it out completely "forever" won't work.

HW: 225, lost 75lbs in 2011 LW: 150
Losing again starting from 210 5/9/2017

No words of widsom. After years of reflection and dieting, I still don't have this thing figured out.
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:36 PM   #7
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Well done on your restraint a little is good and you didn't just jump on it and drink eat and be merry... moderation well done...
i am hoping to get back to that stage well done
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