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Old 03-27-2012, 08:27 PM   #1
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Default male attention

I have been "chubby" my entire life and am getting back towards "normal weight" territory now at 30 years of age. I'm finding the male attention a little overwhelming. Is anyone else in the same boat?

How are you dealing with it?
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Old 03-27-2012, 10:08 PM   #2
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I wish I could say I empathize but I have a wedding ring and it acts like a magic shield so I haven't noticed an overwhelming increase in attention. If you are single, get used to the fact that you are now a hottie and learn to flirt or turn them down with tact.
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Old 03-28-2012, 10:55 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunrio View Post
I wish I could say I empathize but I have a wedding ring and it acts like a magic shield so I haven't noticed an overwhelming increase in attention. If you are single, get used to the fact that you are now a hottie and learn to flirt or turn them down with tact.
Ha, when I was engaged I was fighting them off with a stick - I think the rings attract men for me

I agree, though. You should flirt with the ones you're interested in, and learn how to disengage those who make you feel uncomfortable. It took me a long time to learn how to politely say, "I'm not interested" without an excuse of a boyfriend, etc.
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Old 03-28-2012, 10:57 AM   #4
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I HATE male attention and it's becoming more so as I'm dropping it's driving me crazy! I just act like a snotty *** biatch. LOL I don't know what else to do.....cause I certainly DO NOT want to get picked up! I also avoid eye contact at all costs and look straight ahead! but I'm gay so I stare at women LOL So I'm not sure if my way of dealing with men would work for you?
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Old 03-28-2012, 11:01 AM   #5
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InsideMe: when I saw this topic I just couldn't help but peek to see what all the 'straight' ladies on here have to say about it. But I so know how you feel. I am gay too, and I just hate it. I get so uncomfortable. Maybe even more so than straight people because just the thought of anything more than friendship with men is kinda alien to me! lol.


Anyhow, I'll jump back to the 20s-something board again. For aslong as I can... (another 3yrs)
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Old 03-28-2012, 11:13 AM   #6
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**** yeah and I love it!

I'm in my 40's now and having been soundly ignored for some 15 years, I admit that the attention is a big confidence booster and puts a smile on my face. I don't do anything about it (yet) - just smile and say thank you if I get a compliment. Or say thanks but no thanks to invites that don't interest me.

The funny thing is, that the more confident I'm getting, the more attention I seem to get. Still - it may end as quickly as it started so I'm enjoying it while I can!
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Old 03-28-2012, 06:27 PM   #7
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I don't mind a compliment or a look, it's when a guy invades my personal space that I get freaked out.
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Old 03-28-2012, 06:51 PM   #8
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When a guy asks me out and I don't feel like it, I just tell them "no" flat out. I guess it depends on how well you know the dude. My back ground with my struggle with self-image contains a verbally/mentally abusive ex husband that had called me fat and that "it looks like your back is stuffed in your jeans" was his favorite one to use. Now after the divorce and 40pound loss, I'm a little more confident, only I still have demons to kill and hurtles to get over before jumping into anything serious. And you will get new attention, but I'm very picky to make sure it genuine.
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Old 03-28-2012, 07:55 PM   #9
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I've always had male attention rather I'm a lard butt or my skinny self. I find them all dogs as of late, a little cynical here. Honestly, I've never had issues with "male" attention, some are actually more attracted to the "chubby" or "fat" version of me but when I'm thin (which has been forever now) I get about the same amount of attention. I think it has to do with my self esteem, I haven't lost it just cause I'm not a pencil.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:00 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meditateinmydirectio View Post
I don't mind a compliment or a look, it's when a guy invades my personal space that I get freaked out.
Sexual assault is when someone forcibly touches an intimate part of another person. Just remember that!
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Old 04-02-2012, 11:03 AM   #11
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when I was single I used to LOVE the attention lol, as long as they didn't creep me out, I loved the sexy walk, and the hair flowing, and just looking cute, I loved being able to throw on anything in my closet with ought having to think twice about the way I look, I miss those days so very badly
lol I say enjoy it! Embrace it! But be careful and be wary of the stalkers and the creeps
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Old 04-04-2012, 01:13 PM   #12
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This is a complex issue. I'm super curvy so even at my heaviest I read as crazy sexy to people who like curvy girls. So, when I let my figure show I always get attention. However, when I was heavier I was more embarrassed (internalized judgement) so I wore baggy clothes almost ALL the time to hide my body. Also, because of some younger abuse, showing my body and getting attention felt scary and dangerous.

So I've spent years doing therapy and other growth to
1) come to terms both with the fact that I'm gorgeous heavy or thin
and
2) There are scary sexual predators out there but I have enough tools to take great precautions and keep myself as safe as possible
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Old 04-05-2012, 12:10 PM   #13
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I've never had this issue even when I was at my smallest. So I'm no help. People tend to treat me as if I don't even exist.
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Old 04-05-2012, 12:58 PM   #14
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I love it......as long as it's not gross attention or overstepping personal boundaries.

As a side note, I believe that this all has to do with how we feel about ourselves. I know when I'm bigger, my self esteem SUCKS so nobody pays attention. When I feel good and think (lol) I look good, I walk with my shoulders back and head up and I'm confident - that in itself demands attention.
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Old 04-10-2012, 11:51 PM   #15
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It's definitely a double-edged sword. I like being attractive. My looks have always been very important to me. But I also like being invisible, especially when I'm doing something like working out, or running errands, or working in a not-so-safe city/area. :-/ Ah, what a problem to have.
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