male attention

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  • I like hiding behind my fat, but since I realized that I'm doing it, I have tried to lose weight. I get lots of male attention (and female attention) and usually find it flattering. When it gets too close for comfort, sometimes, I eat to become more armored. It's an emotional reaction; I become more agoraphobic and eat really fatty calories and I'm usually aware that I'm doing it. Lately, though, I'm recognizing that there's a source of power in it. I don't shrink away from the attention and try to enjoy it. Doing so makes it easier to push people away with a little attitude, but it gives me a boost of confidence, too. I try to be more careful how I dress, now that I'm aware of it.
  • heck, I wouldn't mind getting some male attention .....or women LOL!
  • Quote: I love it......as long as it's not gross attention or overstepping personal boundaries.

    As a side note, I believe that this all has to do with how we feel about ourselves. I know when I'm bigger, my self esteem SUCKS so nobody pays attention. When I feel good and think (lol) I look good, I walk with my shoulders back and head up and I'm confident - that in itself demands attention.
    I totally agree. Personally, I noticed as I started to lose, I became more confident. I dressed nicer and sometimes a little more revealing. I don't want to blend...I want to be looked at. I'm no where near the 140 lb girl I was (Though damn it I will be!) but I feel better about myself. Guys sense that.
  • I'm not accustomed to, or been the target of much male attention. I'd welcome some, but I can see why it would become overwhelming pretty quickly.

    I have a "friend" who's recently hit the 100 lb-loss mark. He was someone who originally encouraged me and one of the few people I can go to with weight-loss issues. During some of our conversations, he'd hinted that once I hit my target weight I could play the field and take advantage of "being attractive". I explained that attractiveness doesn't have anything to do with weight.

    Friday we were out after work with a group of friends. He doesn't usually come out, but for some reason he did. He made some inappropriate comments about our regular waitress, and how he would "wreck that". A little while later, he shouted out another inappropriate comment to a very large girl leaving the bar. I was absolutely dumbfounded. The last straw was when he made a sexual innuendo about me and a short, small, guy friend.

    I'm not a violent person, but before thought entered my head, I reached back and smacked him so hard across the back of the head his ballcap flew off. Our entire circle of friends were stunned, and I immediately felt horrible. He chuckled, and played it off. The girls high-fived me.

    As we were leaving, I called him out and told him he was being a complete and utter d*ck. I told him I thought someone with his weight loss experiences/struggles would be more sensitive to other's feelings. He made an excuse about how people used to make fun of him when he was overweight.

    I told him when I get to my goal weight, I may be perceived as being "more attractive" based on what society believes. By this definition, he should be "more attractive" now, but he's always going to be a d*ck, and for that, he'll stay unattractive and single.

    I've decided I don't need his influence or assistance in losing weight.
  • I would love to get some male attention - that would make me feel pretty good!