I need help and support!

[adaem]

I have been on this site for several years now off and on. I am sick of feeling fat. So here is my deal. I will try and make it short.

I have been trying to lose weight since my oldest was born almost 10 years ago. I have no will power and am the queen of excuses. About a year and a half ago my husband and I bought a business and moved 4-5 hours away from our friends and family. The business is doing great but keeps us very busy. My husband also works for a local farmer for about 2 months in the fall during harvest which means I am in charge of the business and the kids. Its really not a big deal other than it gives me one more excuse to eat crappy and not find time to exercise. I don't do very good with busy. We are also moving in about 3 weeks so this just puts one more thing on my plate (no pun intended).

My stomach does not know the meaning of full. I eat when I'm bored, tired, stressed, happy. You name it. I am going to be 40 in less than 2 years. I am sick of putting this off and saying, "after this bowl of ice cream I will stop". I find an excuse to quit everything. I will start reading stories on here and then after a bit my low self-esteem kicks in and I tell myself that people on here don't really care what I have to say (I am sounding very pathetic right now but I am just being totally real for the first time in a long time).

I am sick of feeling fat. I am sick of my jeans digging into my stomack. I am sick of not feeling pretty (even though my husband tells me all the time that I am). I have looked into joining a gym (there are 2 of those 24hr gyms here in town) but I just can't afford it and I can't say that I would keep going. If I don't have time to do my DVD's at home I will not go to a gym.

My husband and kids and I are going to FL in just under 3 months. I do not want to go on another vacation where I will not let anyone take pics of me because I hate how fat I look. This has to happen. I have to change TODAY!!

Here is my plan.
I will work out after work (4pm)
I will listen to my stomach and let it tell me when it needs food
I will come on here and up date even if I think no one cares

Here is my goal.
I am 150(ish - my scale broke) now and want to be 130 by Dec 15. That is about 6 - 7 lbs a month.

No more excuses. My new life starts.....now!

[Lovely]

I think you might be underestimating how much people care. People do care. They might not always post, but there are plenty of people who come through these forums lurking and reading and silently wishing "good luck" to all of us going through this.

Online interactions are very strange things. Not every poster is a poet, and the written word can come off as harsh or uncaring when the tone behind it is the opposite. 99% of the time on 3FC, I really do think people mean the best with how they respond.

Making a commitment is a wonderful thing! I love seeing your plans. You might consider joining a challenge with Daily or Weekly accountability. Or joining in on a very active chat thread that you're interested in.

Stick with your goals no matter what!

[ItsMyTurn]

I think Lovely said it best... challenge yourself and become accountable - as that helps you to see successes in black and white. One day of success is reason to be proud... you have enough moments of being proud, then all of a sudden some motivation kicks in.. when that happens, the world is at your feet and you have taken total control of your body The trick is, starting and staying with it, and I am betting you CAN do that People care a whole bunch, even without ever having met each other... the care comes from the commonality of having the same goals (even though numbers are different). All of us are struggling to healthier, happier lives through this process, and I have yet to see one person that says it's easy... cause it isn't. However, it is worth it... YOU are worth it Now no more excuses... set the gym as an appointment and you treat it like a business opportunity.. cause an investment in yourself is the most valuable opportunity you have!

[momwannabe]

I agree that you're underestimating everyone! I've only been trying for 2 weeks and every other day I want to give up. But everyone is very supportive and we're all in the same boat! I guess we'd all be skinny if it was easy. So please hang in there. Please don't quit. You're already further down the line than I am! So know that I'm following in your footsteps and we can motivate each other.

[Melissa Lynn]

You can do it!

“It’s a lifestyle – train like there’s no finish line.”

Best of Luck!!

[TransformingMyself]

Hi Adaem, I know how you feel. I have been struggling with my weight for years. Losing weight/getting healthy is very hard. If it was easy, everyone would be thin/fit/healthy. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Every day when you wake up, tell yourself "I can do this", and stay positive! Meal planning/prepping is key, it makes things so much easier. Also keep a journal of what you eat and your exercise. It is great to look back on. Your goal of 6 - 7 lbs is very achieveable! I love your attitude "my new life starts....now!" You deserve it! Take it! We are here for you!

[124chicksinger]

Hugs, straight off the bat.

Allow me to be ms. obvious by stating that at your height/weight, you're in the ballpark for your stated weight. Some people might even be happy at that weight/height, but I get that you're not and you're frustrated with the current size of you. That written, your weight loss may be slower than someone who has more to lose and I don't know if that has been something ithat has adversely affected your weight loss efforts over the past couple of years.

You wrote that your stomach does not know the meaning of full, and that you promise to eat better after the last current bowl of ice cream. <---neither approach has worked in the past. So, if your plan now is to listen to your stomach and let it tell you when it needs food sounds, to me, like a non-plan. So, you need a plan!!!

When you get up in the morning, you should have a healthy breakfast to get your metabolism going. You should plan a mid-morning snack, plan a healthy lunch, a mid-after noon snack, and a healthy dinner. Listening to your stomach hasn't worked for you because it doesn't know the meaning of full, right? That last serving of ice cream won't be the last either....however, if you plan for it, a 1/2 cup occasional reward for how well you've done for the day, week, etc., it won't feel like something forbidden and evil.

There's an old saying "when you fail to plan, you plan to fail" which can easily be applied to many aspects in life. However, it is fully pertinent to dieting.

My 2 cents is that you need a fully-thought-out plan of action---more than listening to your body.

I can't suggest any particular menu or commercial diet for you, but I strongly suggest you have a strategy in place that incorporates a daily menu and eating from a list of healthy appropriate foods that encourage weight loss, and sticking to a certain amount of calories and/or portions daily, spread across at least 3 meals and 1 to 2 snacks per day.

I know its hard; if it was easy, we'd all be super models.

Good luck to you, and please don't be so hard on yourself. P.S. I don't even know you, and I care.

[adaem]

Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement! I really needed it. I feel totally different today. I am still crazy busy but I know that I can do this. I am totally worth this!

TransformingMyself: I just joined your Christmas challenge. The last time I joined a challenge on here (3-4 years ago) I did great. I just need to stick with it after its over. So thank you very much for the encouragement and the challenge.

124chicksinger: You are so right! I need a plan. I obviously can not rely on my stomach because it is very unreliable! I really needed to hear that! Thank you.