So I stopped losing weight around november of last year - egad! I had lost about 40 pounds (wow - 40 B, that is impressive) - but somehow I just lost the "do it" attitude of being on a diet.
Thanksgiving came, then Christmas, then a trip to mexico, then a boyfriend, then a breakup then a trip to europe, which included lots of good eating (walking and biking - a GREAT TRIP) but drinking too. Then coming back and being single, and for a moment jobless, then too much work, now it's today.
Every day it's like a struggle to stay on track. I know I shouldn't eat things, but my hands put it in my mouth - and sometimes then I feel guilty, Every night before I go to bed, it's a vow to do better tomorrow. And then I "cheat", or rather, eat what I want. Because I do love food - even too much food
I try the "be good for 2 weeks, get a massage". etc. but then something comes up, wedding, trip, 24 hour work day, etc - and I use that as an excuse to be bad. I guess I don't have the conviction to stick to it. Which sucks, since being overweight is constantly on my mind (as is eating food.) (I wonder how much more productive I would be if my brain wasn't focused on these two things - and I feel it is so silly and inconsequential as well...in the long run).
(sorry just venting here).
Now I still work out minimum 5 days a week (which is good) but I feel like there has been little improvement. (I have a trainer 3 of those days, but will be cut down to 2 soon, because of financial things).
Now, this is a concern of mine as well: I have been on the Nuvaring for the past four months. It was a new birth control to try, because ortho made my sex drive non-existent. It is very possible that the nuvaring has something to do with my mood and weight issues. I am not sure. I feel like the added hormones have not been good to me now (as I think i was fine when I took them in my 20s.) When I lost weight, I was for the most part not on birth control except the one month I went onto Ortho and HATED it. I am usually a pretty happy person, but have been kinda bummed, tired and bored for the past 4 months. But I wouldn't have noticed any effects initially because when I came back from Europe, I got laid off 3 weeks later, and was still feeling ick from being single. I had also just started the nuvaring when I got back. I found a job pretty quickly (about one week after the lay off (and a better one) - but still felt blah. And now 3 months later, life has been going pretty good, and I still seem to be unchipper. I had been blaming this on my "I'm 31 now and still single (and fat)" but now I'm not so sure.
But then I started reading symptoms of the nuvaring - and hormone imbalance - (when I googled fatigue) - and found that people had symptoms of fatigue, breathing issues (which I had complained to my trainer to a month back, but blamed it on my bra), constant hunger and depression - things seemed to click in place. I've noticed because of my fatigue, I have not been able to recoup as fast as I usually do from physical exercise - I've been complaining more and trying to rest more during my training sessions. Last year I was super strong. This year I'm eh-strong.
So anyway - writing this all out - kind of as a public statement to myself. I wonder if a lot of you women changed in your early 30s? moodwise/physically wise. Difference with your birth control methods. (not that i'm having sex right now
Anyway - yesterday was my day for removal - so I think I'm going to go off of it for good (maybe get a copper IUD if I want some form of Birth Control in a few months).
And I hope that the nuvaring isn't just an excuse for myself, that I can get back on track. Because last year some things in losing weight were just so easy - and now it just seems like an insurmountable obstacle. I wanna be a sexy something for halloween!!!
ok that's enough rambling and ahhh for now. Back to the 170s, I hope!
Send me your thoughts, any, and comments!!!