I am freaking out a little bit these days as I start to begin dating again. My body is in an "ugly duckling" phase where I have loose skin on my lower stomach and boobs. I look a TON better in clothes than I did, but if someone saw me uhh..without them, it's embarrasing. I'm not going to jump into anything with anyone, but it's in the back of my mind knowing that I would really struggle with it if it did happen. Other women my age that haven't had this weight loss don't have these flaws. Once I get to goal, if it isn't significantly better, I will have surgery but in the meanwhile I want to get out there and have good experiences.

The other thing is that I don't want men to know that I've lost weight. I don't want them to see my pictures from before and be turned off by it and think that if they settle down with me, I will get big like that with them. I know that I will never let that happen to me again, but they don't. But, I spent 10 years of my life overweight and married. It's not like I can just pretend it didn't happen.

I guess the "right guy" won't run away because of this, but even really good guys need to have an attraction spark.

Has anyone been through this and have any advice?

I hear ya about it being nervewracking to date when overweight and being self conscious about one's body when overweight. I recently met a guy who wants met to meet his family, actually I meet them in a few hours - yikes, and I am nervous but I know HE cares about ME, and that means a lot to me. I guess what I am trying to say is that there are some guys out there who will care about you no matter what your size and realize that beauty isn't just skin deep. Some guys aren't so shallow, and like big, beautiful women.

What you reveal to guys about you having lost weight is entirely UP TO YOU! Don't feel pressured into having to reveal everything on the first date. The right guy would be proud of you for your accomplishment!

Who would want someone who only looks at the surface?

So you're at least 30ish and you're most likely datinge men in their mid or late 30s?

They don't look like they did at 18, either. (They also don't, erm, do other things like they did at 18.)

Thanks ladies for your replies! It is a whole different world out there now. Scary but exciting!

Have to agree with the other ladies. A good man won't care about what your weight was. He will be proud of you for what you have done. Plus, men really aren't looking at your imperfections when you do "the deed"... They are happy they are getting some lol. Sorry I had to put it out there like that but that's just me lol..

I literally laughed out loud at this. So true!!