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Old 05-04-2011, 10:14 AM   #61
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I feel guilty that you guys are so supportive
Don’t ever feel guilty! That is what this message board is about!! Please….do you know how many posts I have written that started with “woe is me”? In fact, you just responded to one yesterday. We are here to support you, cheer you on, celebrate your successes and understand any setbacks!

For the past couple months I have tried to quit smoking. It’s not happening. Because the minute I am without a cigarette is the minute I start thinking about other things to put in my hands. I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment so any ideas around that are useless! But seriously, I can’t kick the habit. Going cold turkey from a habit of mine, any habit, is just not in my DNA. But each week it gets better and eventually it’ll all click and I’ll stop. I see this happening with you and I also see it with Beila.

I’m cheering for both of you from the sidelines!
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Old 05-04-2011, 03:05 PM   #62
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Thanks Shan! I think you are right...and i hope you are right...that i can't just quit binging cold turkey, but can work on doing it less and less.

150 lbs this morning. Not surprising after i binged BADLY yesterday. TOM is almost over. So no more excuses.
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Old 05-04-2011, 10:28 PM   #63
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Hey Shan, yeah each week it will get better. Trying to quit cold turkey doesn't work for most people. Have you tried the patch? I would suggest taking each week at a time. Count how many cigarettes you smoke and keep track of it from week to week. You can fight it! I see how you are with your weight loss, so you must be strong in your determination.

Surfergirl, you're getting better at it. Just keep telling yourself you are strong and confident that you can beat the habit. You are a bigger and stronger person than the binge eater inside.

I am also struggling with binge eating. I really want to quit once and for all. I just keep trying to stop it and the urges. I'm hoping to make it to 1 month of no binging. I have been good for the past several days, however I do come close to binging, like overeating and eating in a frenzy autopilot or in secret, like hiding from the shame of eating. But each day I forgive myself. I have to accept who I am and just love myself and try harder. Without the love and acceptance, it's like I'm fighting myself and hating myself for the bad things I do, rather than giving myself support and encouraging myself to be better.

Quiting bad addictions take time, but with patience and with determination, and positive thinking, you can heal yourself from the addiction and come to a place of peace and freedom from the urges. Just keep the positive mindset and don't give up.
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Mini Goal #1: 140's by end of July --> Met 7/22/11
Mini Goal #2: 145 by end of August --> Met 8/31/11
Mini Goal #3: 140 by end of September --> Met 10/19/11
Mini Goal #4: 135 by mid November -->

Main Goal: Stay Binge Free 60 days
Starting 6/28/11
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Old 05-06-2011, 11:59 AM   #64
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Well despite screwing up once again, i'm back down to 148. I think it's time to change my ticker! Didn't want to change it when it hit 148 a couple times before because i thought it would bounce back...but hopefully now if it bounces up it will also bounce down.
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Old 05-06-2011, 01:49 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by surfergirl2 View Post
Well despite screwing up once again, i'm back down to 148. I think it's time to change my ticker! Didn't want to change it when it hit 148 a couple times before because i thought it would bounce back...but hopefully now if it bounces up it will also bounce down.
WTG Surfergirl! And I knew after that binge you had there was not a chance you were going back into the 150ís. You had a f*** up and you moved on from it. I think you are securely planted in the 140ís!

And Beila, I just read your last post. Thanks for the support and encouragement regarding the smoking. God, it is so much harder than quitting the binging. I guess because I have been doing it a lot longer. *sigh* When this month ends, things will be different. In a good and bad way. Hereís the back story in case you didnít know ---

Last year, as I was hibernating at home alone, eating and drinking whatever and whenever, I started playing online poker. Just fun money, not real. They have chat rooms and I got to chatting with a guy from Canada. Well for over a year we email, chat on the phone and occasionally skype. Of course the skyping consisted of me laying on my tummy wearing black. Pretty much what you see in my avatar which was a pic taken at my heaviest. I should mention that I totally lied about my weight and even sent him a fake picture of my body. Well, someone elseís body. But despite that we made plans to officially meet up the week of Memorial Day. That was in February and my reasons for losing weight became two fold. I went gangbusters and got totally obsessed. So now I am 24 days out from meeting him. I would like to be 139 by May 30th.

But like I said, after this month ends and my meeting ďDĒ is over, half of my weight loss motivation is going to be gone. Thatís the bad part. But Iíll be able to focus on stopping smoking because I wonít be so nervous or anxiety ridden. Or maybe my motivation will still be there but I wonít be obsessing so much??

So yeah, thatís where I am right now mentally. Just counting down the days till I see D and get that over with. Iím so disgustingly nervous and I want to calm myself with food!! But I wonítÖÖÖ
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:22 PM   #66
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Haha that's funny! I think once May 30 comes and goes you'll realize that you have your OWN motivation to lose weight, for yourself, which is way more powerful than any external motivation. Sometimes i ask myself, "is this really worth it? No one really thinks i'm FAT, so really, does it matter?" and the answer is YES. I want to be thin because i CAN do it.
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:51 PM   #67
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Wow, that is a funny story! I would have never imagined!

Well, I guess my problem is that I don't have a concrete date for losing this weight. I just looked back at my weight journal yesterday. I used to record my weight every day (or so). I was at times 130's, 140's and only in the 150's for very briefly. This past 4 months has been the worst yet, 4 months in the 150's is the longest in my whole life.

I'm currently 155, back to my starting January weight! Oh goodness. I was starting to lose hope yesterday. As I drove in my car to the gym to yoga class, I stopped in the parking lot and just cried. I said prayers to God in my car, "Why God, please just help me lose this weight already. Please help me to be strong, etc." I think the yoga helped calm me down. Also, at that moment, my running friend text messaged me about my progress and that was an encouragement to keep trying. After the gym, I passed by my friend's food truck and she gave me a tofu bowl for free. I hadn't seen her in over a year. I think God's trying to tell me to just keep hopeful and don't give up.

Anyways, I'm not sure if any of you are religious, but prayers help me get through tough times, so if you feel the need, just pray to God and ask for the help you need to get through the struggles you face. He always listens.
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Mini Goal #1: 140's by end of July --> Met 7/22/11
Mini Goal #2: 145 by end of August --> Met 8/31/11
Mini Goal #3: 140 by end of September --> Met 10/19/11
Mini Goal #4: 135 by mid November -->

Main Goal: Stay Binge Free 60 days
Starting 6/28/11
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Old 05-09-2011, 10:00 AM   #68
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Beila – no, I am not a religious person but I wish I was right now. I believe in the power of prayer but I don’t believe that MY prayers work. But that’s another story for another day! But, Beila, it sounds like you have a wonderful friend and the support system you need to help calm yourself. And if yoga works for you then perhaps that is something you should do more often!! I’m sorry that you are back to your January starting weight but I’m hoping that you’ll see it go down quickly due to a water whoosh. Maybe just too much sodium?


I do need to vent to you guys a little bit if that’s OK. I don’t need a response…..just an understanding and non-judgmental ear which I know I have here.


So I was 141.0 this morning. I have been bouncing around 141.8 and 142.2 for a few days. But can I tell you guys that I am definitely bi-polar when it comes to this crap. Seriously, I’m over it. And I know I have complained about this before SO many times! It’s like one moment I am feeling good about how I look and the next minute, without any warning, I am irritated by the chunks of fat still lingering on my thighs. My freaking NAKED thighs!! I’m meeting up with “D” exactly 21 days from today. Instead of feeling excited, I’m feeling the pressure. I’m feeling the insecurity. My goal was to be 139 by then and that is still obtainable BUT it’s not going to be enough. Two freaking pounds off my body right now is NOT going to make one lick a difference. I am mad at myself for being lax these past couple weeks too. Yesterday a girlfriend came over for lunch and to watch a movie. We got Chinese. I ordered a quart of wonton soup and an eggroll. Ate both. I went into the kitchen where her chicken and fried rice were sitting, grabbed the big serving spoon, scooped up some chicken and rice and shoved it all in my mouth. I mean, really?!? Seriously?!? And the minute her car left my driveway I took 3 exlax. When I got hungry later on I ate some sugar free jello.

But I got on the scale this morning, I got dressed and I felt good! Then when I was sitting in traffic this morning I looked down at my thighs flabbily resting on my car seat and I made a gagging noise out of disgust. Happy time over. Got to work and decided to “feel better” with a lightly buttered plain bagel and grape jelly. My old eating habits are rearing its ugly head again.

Oh, and the gym this weekend? Yeah…..didn’t even drive near the vicinity!

I promise to get back on track between now and May 27th. I just need to suck it up, do the best I can and then when I get back from vacation I can relax a little.

*heavy sigh*
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Old 05-09-2011, 12:26 PM   #69
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I feel your pain! I was at 149 this morning but i don't deserve it (and the scale will probably go up later...sometimes there some lag time) because i binged AGAIN this weekend.
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Old 05-09-2011, 05:01 PM   #70
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Shan--Look, you're only 2 pounds away from goal. Why so bi-polar? It's such a small amount. You should be proud of what you accomplished. You set out to lose weight, and you did, and in a big way!

And why do you beat yourself up for eating food with your friend? In the future, do you think you'll be a person that can't enjoy food with friends? Or see something you want to eat and eat a big scoop of it? Sugar free jello is not bad food either.

If you can't handle the stress of doing such actions now, how will it be in maintainence?

The pressures and anxiety of your meeting will only do more harm. Those feelings are the same feelings that cause binging for many people. Try to change your mindset about yourself, and feel good about your weight loss, what you achieved, and how far along you've come. You really are doing great in my opinion.

The only thing I would not advise is taking exlax. I don't think they will help you in any way unless if you really need it for constipation.

Please feel better about your new body, and look forward to all the good times with your meeting D and having this great outlook and foundation to build better health, and a stronger leaner body.

141 is great! I wish I were 141
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Mini Goal #1: 140's by end of July --> Met 7/22/11
Mini Goal #2: 145 by end of August --> Met 8/31/11
Mini Goal #3: 140 by end of September --> Met 10/19/11
Mini Goal #4: 135 by mid November -->

Main Goal: Stay Binge Free 60 days
Starting 6/28/11
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Old 05-10-2011, 03:01 AM   #71
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Gosh I can't wait to get here, but by the time I do u all will be somewhere in the 130's and gone! LOL
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:47 AM   #72
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Beila, I know it. Everything you said was absolutely correct. I can’t argue a thing you said. I know I am only 2 pounds away from my May goal but that goal was set 15-20 pounds ago when I thought I’d have MUCH smaller hips and thighs before I meet up with D. But the closer I got to 139, like now, it hit me that 139 just doesn’t cut it with my body type. I just need to resign myself to the fact that it is what it is. Right now, I’m indifferent about it which is a LOT better than I was yesterday when I was totally down on myself!

And I do hope that once I get back from this trip the pressure I have put on myself to lose weight will decrease and I’ll be able to enjoy the occasional night out, off plan, with my friends. I will admit to totally loving the eggroll I scarfed down. LOL

I wrote out a new plan last night that will be implemented when I get back. It’s a plan I’ll follow between then and July 4th. And it’s totally doable and it includes a 1x a week cheat meal. I’m feeling really good about it!

I’m going to go out this weekend and buy a few new outfits to wear for my vacation and I know that’ll lift my spirits!

Thanks for the kick in the butt. I needed it!!
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:51 AM   #73
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Gosh I can't wait to get here, but by the time I do u all will be somewhere in the 130's and gone! LOL
Well, it is possible I'll be flying the 140's coop in a few weeks BUT I have no doubt you'll be bringing some of your 150 friends here with you. And I always come back to visit.

When I am on the 130's board, I'll get your rooms ready!
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Old 05-10-2011, 02:12 PM   #74
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Hi ladies!

Just checking in, I've been away from the thread for a while. And it is NOT because I have graduated the 140s. I'm afraid that life anxiety is taking me down right now. Between having to finish my degree in the next two weeks, having a (maybe) new boyfriend, finding a new job that's about 150 miles away, needing to move, needing to do something with my current house, and being generally crazed with stress, my eating habits are TERRIBLE. I've actually been exercising more than normal because it helps me deal with things. But any weight loss benefit to that is quickly undone by what I cram into my gullet. Plus, anxiety = no sleep, and I tend to eat worse food when I'm tired.

Not to throw myself a giant pity party or anything! Just wanted to say hi, and that I am still a resident of this thread and will be for some time. But things should ease up soon and then I will be back at it for real. So those of you who are wanting company in the 140s in the months to come, I'll be here.
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Old 05-11-2011, 11:15 AM   #75
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Hey JayZeeJay! Glad you checked in! I’m sorry to hear about the stresses you have been facing. Especially the new job and moving part. Those two things separately are stressful enough! But the new boyfriend (maybe!) sounds wonderful and in a few weeks you can celebrate having your degree! But with everything else it’s completely understandable why your eating habits have been bad. It’ll work itself out. Just don’t be too down on yourself. Instead of adding the stress of weight loss, just stay in maintenance for a while till things settle down. Oh, but I know it’s easier said than done, my dear.

Hang in there and come back whenever you need to vent your anxieties about life! And keep us updated on the new – maybe – boyfriend!!
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