I've been a registered user since June 2009, but just now am getting the courage to post my first thread. About six-years years ago I used to be a svelte size 6 mainly due to my addiction to Tae-Bo, which I used to do six days a week and a very strict diet regimen.
I got married in 2005 and, basically, that's where my downfall began. By then, I had already stopped taking care of myself and decided to "live life" with my new husband. Soon, things between my soon to be ex-husband and I started to sour. It wasn't long before our constant arguments and other personal issues landed me in a full-on battle with depression. My self-esteem, which I was already lacking to begin with, was now at an all time low. I ate everything I could get my hands on out of anxiety or whatever, and my days basically consisted of going to work, then to class, and, finally, home. I never left the house on weekends. I was never a social butterfly, but I wasn't even spending quality time with my family. I sought therapy and was given anti-depressants, which made my weight problem even worse to control. Now, I'm in the middle of a divorce and live back home with my mom, who is very concerned for my health and well being with my current appearance. I haven't weighed myself in about two months, and the last time I did I was at a hefty 237 lbs. Oh, and I'm only 5'2"
The reason I'm writing this because I NEED HELP! I hate the way I look and hate looking at myself in the mirror. I feel ashamed the few times I've been on the treadmill at the gym and get tired very easily. I want to be the girl I was before, with loads of energy to work out for two hours six days a week. The motivation is just not there anymore. I've tried to prepare myself mentally to workout and to take care of myself, but it's not possible at all. I've never been this overweight. How do I get back that wonderful feeling?