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When it comes to dating, do you turn into a teenager?

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Old 02-20-2011, 03:59 PM   #1
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Default When it comes to dating, do you turn into a teenager?

I am feeling ridiculous!

I am not quite divorced, and so not ready to date just yet. But I have been in a loveless marriage for such a long time that I honestly thought my feelings of love and desire were dead. I truly thought that part of me had died or was broken. Turns out it wasn't me!

There's one male perspective in my life...one. And we are in the exact same situation, which is weird. The thing is, I can not get him out of my head. I can not stop thinking about him. Where weight loss used to be my obsession, now thinking about him is.

And I am obsessed with getting rid of this belly before he ever gets the chance to see it!

And I'm not even sure he feels the same about me. On his part, it may well be completely platonic.

On the one hand, I love the feelings I have. They're overwhelming sometimes. On the other hand, am I supposed to feel this way at age 36?

And one thing I hate is that I can talk to any guy any time and joke around and be really open. But with this guy? All words escape my brain. He has to carry the conversation, which sucks! They say guys like a confident woman. Well, hopefully he sees that I am quite confident...with other guys! LOL!

Ok, girly post over. I just feel like talking.
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Old 02-20-2011, 04:36 PM   #2
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I understand your feelings completely. I was so nervous around my (now) fiance when we were first friends albeit online friends, and then the first couple visits to see him. I still get butterflies every time I see him. I think it's a great sign that you're having these feelings. Be there for each other and try to be more comfortable around him, easier said than done I know. Enjoy the feelings of a potential budding romance. I'll bet he's just waiting to see if you're interested.
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Old 02-20-2011, 05:29 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliana View Post
I am feeling ridiculous!On the one hand, I love the feelings I have. They're overwhelming sometimes. On the other hand, am I supposed to feel this way at age 36?
Yes
Yes
Yes


It's a great feeling!
You deserve t feel giddy and girly!
You deserve the best guy that makes you happy!
who cares what your age is?

Is there a forum section somewhere in here for this? Girls who chat with guys on the internet and all the accompanying fear/victories it involves?
If there isn't... there should be!
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Old 02-20-2011, 05:59 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spinach View Post
Yes
Yes
Yes


It's a great feeling!
You deserve t feel giddy and girly!
You deserve the best guy that makes you happy!
who cares what your age is?

Is there a forum section somewhere in here for this? Girls who chat with guys on the internet and all the accompanying fear/victories it involves?
If there isn't... there should be!
LOL! He's not an internet guy, actually. He's a guy I know in the real world. Honestly I've had a crush on him for a little while but suppressed it. The timing isn't quite right for either of us.

I like feeling this way, sometimes, but at other times I just want to know. I just want to crystal ball gaze...just a little.
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mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






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Old 02-20-2011, 06:08 PM   #5
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It's funny how the wrong person convinces us that we're broken instead of taking their share of the blame for a situation. It's nice to realize that you can still feel...amazing.
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Old 02-21-2011, 08:31 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spinach View Post
It's a great feeling!
You deserve t feel giddy and girly!
You deserve the best guy that makes you happy!
who cares what your age is?
I echo this. The start of a new relationship is always glorious. Just enjoy the ride and hope that it lasts a long, long time.
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Old 02-21-2011, 09:27 AM   #7
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Yep, I started dating at age 50 after 18 years out of the scene. Astonished at how all those awkward, giddy, obsessive thoughts came back.
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Old 02-21-2011, 09:29 AM   #8
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I'm glad it's not just me.

I handled myself pretty well this morning, if I do say so myself. I've calmed my brain down and am taking the it-will-happen-when-it-happens approach. LOL! It's not happening any time soon!

I don't know how to start dating. There kind of isn't anyone. I'm not the bar going type. I'm looking forward to Summer when I plan to join some outdoorsy type groups.
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Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html

Last edited by Eliana : 02-21-2011 at 09:29 AM.
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Old 02-21-2011, 09:48 AM   #9
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That's the best part of dating!!! Enjoy every minute of it! Very happy for you
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Old 02-23-2011, 09:43 AM   #10
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I remember that feeling! I actually thought that I had lost all hope in love, because I didn't want to trust any men. It was almost as though my ex-husband took every last bit of love out of me!

But when it happened, it was FANTASTIC! An upward spiral that sent my emotions to cloud 9! I was like a teenager, I was giddy, nervous around him, you name it! Isn't it refreshing knowing that after all your poor little heart has been through, it can still consider letting someone else in and begin to beat again? Hope it all works out!

Like you, I wanted to lose the last of my belly before he ever saw me, but he had already known I was over weight before, so I "warned" him before hand. It wasn't a big deal. To me it still is, but that's a totally different issue!
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Old 02-23-2011, 10:48 AM   #11
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Woo-hoo!! That's awesome that you are feeling that giddiness! I'm sure it is absolutely normal. My S-I-L's husband died a few years ago and she has been on the dating scene recently, and when we chat it's like we are in high school talking about boys -- it's super fun and she's all excited and everything. Good for you! Have fun!
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Old 02-23-2011, 10:50 AM   #12
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You know, it's okay to take your time at this, Eliana. You don't need to get someone immediately. What I'm saying is, you don't need to "settle" if someone doesn't feel right or if you're unsure.

You can try being on your own a little while & be choosy about the men whom life presents to you.
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Old 02-23-2011, 11:20 AM   #13
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Quote:
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You know, it's okay to take your time at this, Eliana. You don't need to get someone immediately. What I'm saying is, you don't need to "settle" if someone doesn't feel right or if you're unsure.

You can try being on your own a little while & be choosy about the men whom life presents to you.
Brilliant. This is exactly what I did. I was very choosy, partly because I was so shy. I wanted something rather old fashioned. He fit the bill! Waited almost 2 years before I started back up. In the mean time, it was all about myself. The wait was worth it!

Forgot to add, the one "prospect" I had while on my journey, ended up being a shallow hack. Glad I found out then, instead of later.
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Old 02-23-2011, 11:44 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by saef View Post
You know, it's okay to take your time at this, Eliana. You don't need to get someone immediately. What I'm saying is, you don't need to "settle" if someone doesn't feel right or if you're unsure.

You can try being on your own a little while & be choosy about the men whom life presents to you.
You know, I'm actually quite annoyed with myself that I AM having this feeling because I would prefer to pride myself on not needing a man. I don't need a man. I didn't need my husband. I've been living independently and powerfully for 10 of the 12 years we've been married. In fact, marriage is so far off my radar as to be something undesirable.

So imagine my surprise when, without trying, I found a man who is athletic, smart (so smart!), kind, DEDICATED, reliable, has tremendous work ethic, friendly, caring, selfless...

Also...a bit TMI here...no one in the real world knows this. My husband suffered from ED our entire marriage...the entire marriage....all of it. Our two children are truly miracles. And the little blue pill didn't work. This is what I mean when I said I thought that part of me was dead and I was quite surprised to find out it wasn't. I had turned it off because I had to and I never complained. I said it wasn't important. I told myself it wasn't important. We'd watch TV and my husband would oogle over the women and ask me which men I was attracted to? I wasn't. Not to any of them. No man on television or in the movies did I find attractive. I really thought I'd lost that part of me.

So...even if this doesn't work out, and it may not, I'm enjoying knowing I'm not dead. There's hope for me yet.
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Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html

Last edited by Eliana : 02-23-2011 at 11:45 AM.
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Old 02-23-2011, 11:55 AM   #15
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Being a little susceptible does not equal losing your independence. And you've been repressed sexually in the marriage, so it's bound to come back x 10. And the 40s will be yet crazier for the hormones...trust me .

Happy for you!
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