When it comes to dating, do you turn into a teenager?
02-20-2011, 03:59 PM
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#1
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Calorie counter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,680
Height: 5'4.5"
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When it comes to dating, do you turn into a teenager?
I am feeling ridiculous! 
I am not quite divorced, and so not ready to date just yet. But I have been in a loveless marriage for such a long time that I honestly thought my feelings of love and desire were dead. I truly thought that part of me had died or was broken. Turns out it wasn't me! 
There's one male perspective in my life...one. And we are in the exact same situation, which is weird. The thing is, I can not get him out of my head. I can not stop thinking about him. Where weight loss used to be my obsession, now thinking about him is.
And I am obsessed with getting rid of this belly before he ever gets the chance to see it!
And I'm not even sure he feels the same about me. On his part, it may well be completely platonic.
On the one hand, I love the feelings I have. They're overwhelming sometimes. On the other hand, am I supposed to feel this way at age 36?
And one thing I hate is that I can talk to any guy any time and joke around and be really open. But with this guy? All words escape my brain. He has to carry the conversation, which sucks! They say guys like a confident woman. Well, hopefully he sees that I am quite confident...with other guys! LOL!
Ok, girly post over.  I just feel like talking.
__________________
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)
My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
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02-20-2011, 04:36 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: London, ON
Posts: 1,124
S/C/G: 331/272/250(for now)
Height: 5'3"
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I understand your feelings completely. I was so nervous around my (now) fiance when we were first friends albeit online friends, and then the first couple visits to see him. I still get butterflies every time I see him. I think it's a great sign that you're having these feelings. Be there for each other and try to be more comfortable around him, easier said than done I know. Enjoy the feelings of a potential budding romance. I'll bet he's just waiting to see if you're interested.
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Doing this one day at a time.
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02-20-2011, 05:29 PM
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#3
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present!
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: the NorthWest
Posts: 44
S/C/G: 200/179/140
Height: 5'3"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliana
I am feeling ridiculous!On the one hand, I love the feelings I have. They're overwhelming sometimes. On the other hand, am I supposed to feel this way at age 36?
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Yes
Yes
Yes
It's a great feeling!
You deserve t feel giddy and girly!
You deserve the best guy that makes you happy!
who cares what your age is?
Is there a forum section somewhere in here for this? Girls who chat with guys on the internet and all the accompanying fear/victories it involves?
If there isn't... there should be!
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02-20-2011, 05:59 PM
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#4
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Calorie counter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,680
Height: 5'4.5"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spinach
Yes
Yes
Yes
It's a great feeling!
You deserve t feel giddy and girly!
You deserve the best guy that makes you happy!
who cares what your age is?
Is there a forum section somewhere in here for this? Girls who chat with guys on the internet and all the accompanying fear/victories it involves?
If there isn't... there should be! |
LOL! He's not an internet guy, actually. He's a guy I know in the real world. Honestly I've had a crush on him for a little while but suppressed it. The timing isn't quite right for either of us.
I like feeling this way, sometimes, but at other times I just want to know. I just want to crystal ball gaze...just a little.
__________________
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)
My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
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02-20-2011, 06:08 PM
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#5
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Why can't you?
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 486
S/C/G: 334/290.8/167
Height: 5'2"
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It's funny how the wrong person convinces us that we're broken instead of taking their share of the blame for a situation. It's nice to realize that you can still feel...amazing. 
__________________
Restart 10/01/11 at 297 lbs...after being at 265. I won't update this ticker until I'm back to that weight.
Pounds til obese instead of morbidly so.
[url=http://www.3fatchicks.com/]  [/url
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02-21-2011, 08:31 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 145
S/C/G: 160/157/120
Height: 5'1"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spinach
It's a great feeling!
You deserve t feel giddy and girly!
You deserve the best guy that makes you happy!
who cares what your age is?
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I echo this. The start of a new relationship is always glorious. Just enjoy the ride and hope that it lasts a long, long time. 
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02-21-2011, 09:27 AM
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#7
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Age 52
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NC now/MI for first 42 years
Posts: 1,547
S/C/G: 265/ticker/165
Height: 5'7"
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Yep, I started dating at age 50 after 18 years out of the scene. Astonished at how all those awkward, giddy, obsessive thoughts came back.
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02-21-2011, 09:29 AM
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#8
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Calorie counter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,680
Height: 5'4.5"
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I'm glad it's not just me. 
I handled myself pretty well this morning, if I do say so myself. I've calmed my brain down and am taking the it-will-happen-when-it-happens approach. LOL! It's not happening any time soon!
I don't know how to start dating. There kind of isn't anyone. I'm not the bar going type. I'm looking forward to Summer when I plan to join some outdoorsy type groups.
__________________
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)
My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
Last edited by Eliana : 02-21-2011 at 09:29 AM.
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02-21-2011, 09:48 AM
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#9
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Mama on a Mission
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: IL
Posts: 137
S/C/G: 166/155.5/135
Height: 5'6
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That's the best part of dating!!! Enjoy every minute of it! Very happy for you
__________________
Started AGAIN: 8/1/2011
Height: 5' 6"
Starting weight: 166 lbs
Current : 153.5
Lbs Lost: 12.5
Lbs Left for 1st goal: Completed
Lbs Left for 2nd goal: 3.5
Goal #1 155 by 9/10/11
Completed! 9/16/11
Goal #2: 150 by 10/17/11 - Daughter's B-Day
Goal #3: 140 by 11/30/11
Goal #4 - Ultimate Goal - 135 for Life!!
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02-23-2011, 09:43 AM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 537
S/C/G: 250/110/110
Height: 5'4''
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I remember that feeling! I actually thought that I had lost all hope in love, because I didn't want to trust any men. It was almost as though my ex-husband took every last bit of love out of me!
But when it happened, it was FANTASTIC! An upward spiral that sent my emotions to cloud 9! I was like a teenager, I was giddy, nervous around him, you name it! Isn't it refreshing knowing that after all your poor little heart has been through, it can still consider letting someone else in and begin to beat again? Hope it all works out!
Like you, I wanted to lose the last of my belly before he ever saw me, but he had already known I was over weight before, so I "warned" him before hand. It wasn't a big deal. To me it still is, but that's a totally different issue!
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02-23-2011, 10:48 AM
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#11
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I am in control.
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,775
S/C/G: 274/164/Preggo :)
Height: 5'9
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Woo-hoo!! That's awesome that you are feeling that giddiness! I'm sure it is absolutely normal. My S-I-L's husband died a few years ago and she has been on the dating scene recently, and when we chat it's like we are in high school talking about boys -- it's super fun and she's all excited and everything. Good for you! Have fun!
__________________
Goal story and pictures here
Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining your weight is hard. Pick your hard.
If you love the results, learn to love the process.
Don't give up what you want most for what you want now.
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02-23-2011, 10:50 AM
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#12
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Midsize B%^$#*tch
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: In exile, in Central NY
Posts: 3,516
S/C/G: 247/147/141
Height: 5'3"
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You know, it's okay to take your time at this, Eliana. You don't need to get someone immediately. What I'm saying is, you don't need to "settle" if someone doesn't feel right or if you're unsure.
You can try being on your own a little while & be choosy about the men whom life presents to you.
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02-23-2011, 11:20 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 537
S/C/G: 250/110/110
Height: 5'4''
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saef
You know, it's okay to take your time at this, Eliana. You don't need to get someone immediately. What I'm saying is, you don't need to "settle" if someone doesn't feel right or if you're unsure.
You can try being on your own a little while & be choosy about the men whom life presents to you.
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Brilliant. This is exactly what I did. I was very choosy, partly because I was so shy. I wanted something rather old fashioned. He fit the bill! Waited almost 2 years before I started back up. In the mean time, it was all about myself. The wait was worth it!
Forgot to add, the one "prospect" I had while on my journey, ended up being a shallow hack. Glad I found out then, instead of later.
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Last edited by guamvixen : 02-23-2011 at 11:25 AM.
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02-23-2011, 11:44 AM
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#14
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Calorie counter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,680
Height: 5'4.5"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saef
You know, it's okay to take your time at this, Eliana. You don't need to get someone immediately. What I'm saying is, you don't need to "settle" if someone doesn't feel right or if you're unsure.
You can try being on your own a little while & be choosy about the men whom life presents to you.
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You know, I'm actually quite annoyed with myself that I AM having this feeling because I would prefer to pride myself on not needing a man. I don't need a man. I didn't need my husband. I've been living independently and powerfully for 10 of the 12 years we've been married. In fact, marriage is so far off my radar as to be something undesirable.
So imagine my surprise when, without trying, I found a man who is athletic, smart (so smart!), kind, DEDICATED, reliable, has tremendous work ethic, friendly, caring, selfless...
Also...a bit TMI here...no one in the real world knows this. My husband suffered from ED our entire marriage...the entire marriage....all of it. Our two children are truly miracles. And the little blue pill didn't work. This is what I mean when I said I thought that part of me was dead and I was quite surprised to find out it wasn't. I had turned it off because I had to and I never complained. I said it wasn't important. I told myself it wasn't important. We'd watch TV and my husband would oogle over the women and ask me which men I was attracted to? I wasn't. Not to any of them. No man on television or in the movies did I find attractive.  I really thought I'd lost that part of me.
So...even if this doesn't work out, and it may not, I'm enjoying knowing I'm not dead. There's hope for me yet.
__________________
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)
My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
Last edited by Eliana : 02-23-2011 at 11:45 AM.
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02-23-2011, 11:55 AM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canadian Prairies
Posts: 235
S/C/G: 205/179/140
Height: 5' 4"
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Being a little susceptible does not equal losing your independence. And you've been repressed sexually in the marriage, so it's bound to come back x 10. And the 40s will be yet crazier for the hormones...trust me .
Happy for you!
__________________
Last edited by tea2 : 02-23-2011 at 11:57 AM.
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