Unsupportive friends/family

[JayLei]

This is a rough one. I'm going through a separation leading to divorce right now, and while there are a lot of reasons for it, a large contributor was the realization that I was never going to be happy fat, and he was never going to be happy with me trying to be (and hopefully finally being) thin.
Hopefully everything will work out for you, but I wish I had realized this years ago at the bottom of my 30's instead of the top.

[lindalee9]

This is terrible!! I can't imagine anyone doing to me, especially my husband who met me at 185 and married me at 207 and watched get to 252 (pregnant) and then remain at 227 until I got serious at losing weight and he NEVER said a word or made me feel bad or guilty. Just by side loving me. He is supportive of most things I choose to do (except maybe spending money!).

The only time people don't listen when I say no is at work for birthdays with that cake being offered over and over.

Oh and my mother in law who brought me 2 DOZEN doughnuts the day after I told her about my diet. Maybe coincidence? She is overweight also and I think it's the same thing you are talking about with your boyfriend, a combo of guilt and maybe even fear of being "left behind"

[SarahD140]

Ahhh, yes, my boyfriend is overwieght and can't stick to anything either. He and I have talked about his negative feelings toward my loss thus far, and I have assured him that he won't lose me to a gym jocky lol. He has been a help and a hinderance. I can see how it may make your BF uncomfortable. Talk it out w/ him, and don't let him rule the conversation, be sure of what you want to say.

Sounds like this is a tough one for you two.

[Sonata]

I don't know your boyfriend, but it sounds to me like he is rather childish. Lay it all out for him, how you feel and what taunting does to you. If he doesn't listen, respond, and start treating you with respect, it's time to move on. There are men out there who will treat you right. Nuts on that nonsense.

[Natasha1534]

Wow...I think I would've been really upset w/ that. I'm not on the "dump him" wagon, though b/c you don't mention if you told him how much it bothered you or not. My advice would be to sit him down and tell him bluntly how hard it is for you to commit to something like this and you really don't appreciate him taunting you w/ foods that he KNOWS could be a trigger for you. And if he does it again, I personally would grab the entire bag of M&Ms and put them down the garbage disposal and then ask him "NOW...are you going to EVER put an M&M in my effing face again???" LMFAO

[BlueFruitMomma]

My husband is an excellent match for me. I dated *a lot* before meeting him, and I knew he was keeper early on. There are a lot of ppl out there that are great matches. . . for *other* ppl. What your BF did is really disrespectful to you. Maybe he can change that behavior, but I bet there are other things he does that are disrespectful to you. Do you think there's a better match out there for you? I do.

[hdallas78]

Thank you all so much for your support. I got married at 20 to a man I met when I was 17, spent 12 years with him in a bad marriage, and started dating the bf about 6 months after my separation. I haven't had a whole lot of alone time, and haven't dated much. Bf and I broke up twice in the last 3 years, both times for 3 months or so, but always came back to each other. I have SO much to focus on right now - losing weight, I'm going back to finish my Bachelor's degree on Tuesday (taking a full 12 credit hr courseload), working 30 hours a week, and taking care of my two children. My ten year old has cerebral palsy and is wheelchair bound, and requires a great deal more care than most children her age. So, without worrying about the bf I have plenty on my plate. He hasn't done anything like that since that day, but things are stressed between us in general. I don't know where it will go, but I am doing what I can to keep from letting the stress of our relationship from affecting everything else in my life.