[motivatedbride]

Unfortunately, I have a feeling that there may be quite a few out there that know how I feel right now. Last year I lost 100 pounds....I was elated, overjoyed, and filled with pride and confidence, vowing that I wouldn't gain it back and I would keep going as I had another 50-60 lbs to lose.

I got married in March and went on an all-inclusive honeymoon where I made up for lost time apparently. With anything you could want to eat at your fingertips and already paid for, I couldn't control myself. Well after gaining 8 lbs on the honeymoon, I had expected to come home, take a little time off of dieting and then get right back to it. Well that little time turned into 4 months. And in that time I gained back what took me 8 months to lose. 55 pounds!

I am just devestated and am finding it extremely hard to get back in the groove. My depression and disappointment just makes me want to eat and lay around even more. I came back to this forum because sharing my story with both setbacks and triumphs and reading those of others really inspired me and motivated me to keep going and to stay strong. I really want to learn how to LIVE a healthy lifestyle and not keep relapsing like this. I am completely exhausted from dieting for the past 20 years and would like to just live.

So I am back with the hopes that I can lose these 55lbs AGAIN....and lose another 60 and keep it off!!!

If you had a similar story, please share with me what made you get back on track and keep you there.

[winning the war]

Congrats on your 100lb. loss and your marriage!! Also, congrats for noticing you needed to change things before you gained it all back. I think the mindset of "dieting" is defeating in itself, because it suggests something that is temporary. You don't need to go on a diet, you need to change the way you eat and live for the rest of your life. You've taken a strong first step. Next is to make a plan that you can live with forever. So cutting your favorite foods completely out of your life will not work forever. Neither will exercising 5 hours a day (unless you plan to do that for a living or competition). Moderation is the key to both losing and maintaining. You've already proven (to me at least) that you are a strong person, now prove it to yourself. Good luck to you !

[mortonpixie]

I agree with the PP. It's a lifestyle change - not a diet.

That being said - you don't have to change everything all at once! Pick one thing to change each month.

Drink 80oz of water per day
Eat 5-7 servings of fruits and veggies
Cut out food in a sack or a box
Walk 30min each night after supper

These are just a few things that we should all be doing for optimal health. You can start with one today, and then add another one when you feel up to it.

A bit about me: I lost 90lbs in 2005. Got married in 2006 and had 2 babies in less than 2 years. Gained all the weight back, and am now working on losing it AGAIN.

Stick around.
Day by day we will concentrate on just doing the NEXT RIGHT THING!

[AFChick]

I've gained and lost the same 40 pounds more times than I'd like to think about. I can totally relate...I've been on "diets" since I was 8 years old and every time I wasn't on a diet, I gained weight. I agree with the posts above. It's not about dieting. It's about loving yourself enough to eat what's best for you. I'm not saying never indulge, it's a lifestyle of balance...but it is a forever lifestyle.

[kaygee41]

I can definitely relate, as i had a similar experience; lost about 40lbs. before getting married, then put almost all of it back on. Now I am back at it, and also want not to diet, but move to a healthy lifestyle. My motivation was really 2 things. One, i just got completely fed up with not only the way I looked, but with not being active and fit to do the things i wanted. And two, both my husband and I have some family members that have some health issues that are exacerbated by unhealthy weight and habits. Neither of us wanted to be in that position.

Been working at it for about 2 weeks now and doing pretty well.counting calories and working out.

Good luck to you!

[jhawk76]

I think a lot of it is mental. In 2008 I dropped 90 lbs and have gained 35 lbs of it back due to the inability to deal with stress. When I had to start wearing elastic band shorts/capris because I refused to buy a bigger size I knew I had to address the issue. I am worth it and I need to do it for my family. It a struggle that I will always have to deal with so it is important for me to realize that it is truly a lifestyle change - not a diet.

[1curvyvixen]

dont be discouraged..just set new goals..dont focus on the past and start a new beginning..we all hav relapse..but as long as we keep striving..you will accomplish more the next time!

[motivatedbride]

Thanks all for the words of encouragement. Yes I know that it is a lifestyle change. I think we all know what we should be doing. And I agree with jhawk. I know mine is purely mental. I get stressed out and forget about everything that matters and what's important. I am just so focused on that moment and needing comfort.

My first goal is to overcome that and find a way that I can distract myself when I am stressed....remove myself from that situation and emotion. I think if I can overcome that hurdle, I have a much better chance at making a lasting lifestyle change.

I had a great "first day" back and feel confident that I can succeed at reaching my goals. Thanks again everyone and good luck to you all!

Now I am going for a walk

[saram]

I hate saying I am on a diet...when you think of it, everyone is on a diet - either a healthy diet or an unhealthy one. I like to say that I am on a healthy eating plan. It is much less intimidating the dredded D word...DIET.

[RunningToSmile]

Ditto to what all have said above! I have struggled with eating issues, including anorexia and bulimia, since I was a child. I have gone both ways--starving myself down to 125 pounds (I'm 5'9") and gaining weight eating like crazy until I weighed 260 pounds. The happiest I have been has been when I have maintained an achievable weight by eating well most of the time with a few splurges, and exercising daily. A couple of years ago, I was happy to be at that place, weighing about 170, eating balanced meals and having snacks, cookies, etc. in a balanced way, and exercising most days.

During my last year of my Master's program, I let the stress of studying for the Nurse Practitioner boards, finding a new job, and dealing with additional responsibility as a provider get to me mentally. I ate my way through my last year and ended up gaining 50+ pounds. It was very depressing and disheartening! I felt like a failure. I had done so well for so many years, and this was such a setback. But I am determined to get back down to a healthy weight, and to do it without abusing my body and starving the weight off. That never works anyway, because it just lowers my metabolism and fuels an unhealthy and abusive relationship with food.

Food is fun! It is necessary nourishment, and fuel for our bodies, but it is also something to be enjoyed in moderation. It is not the enemy! The mental energy that I have expended trying to be "good" and "not bad" around food has exhausted me. Eating fresh and whole foods most of the time, with room for occasional treats, is what works best for me. Having an unhealthy relationship with food will always be destructive, because we need food to survive. An alcoholic can avoid bars and beer; a drug addict can cut cold turkey. But someone with an eating disorder (either over- or undereating) still has to subsist on something. That's why it was crucial for me to repair that mindset against food and try to figure out why I was using it as a crutch to deal with other issues.

Good luck to you all! We are doing something healthy just by being on this site and hashing this all out. I am proud of my slow and steady progress, and the fact that I am teaching my children to have a healthy relationship with food and exercise. Maybe that will prevent them from the **** that I have been through most of my life regarding diets and self-abusive behavior.

R

[d-chan]

I remember telling my husband that I didn't want to have a baby because I couldn't stand to be fat again. Well, here I am after our baby with all that weight back because I used it as an excuse to eat everything I could lay my hands on. If it even pretended to be chocolate I would eat it, every bit, until it was gone. Then came the post-partum depression and food was the only thing that kept me from sleeping ALL day. Meds fixed that, but are keeping my body from moving forward.

So, here I am trying to lose the same 40+ pounds I'd already lost before, and having a MUCH harder time doing it.

Time to get on the treadmill. Keep working at it and you'll get there again. Admitting there is a need is always the biggest part and you've already passed that.