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Old 09-08-2009, 09:23 AM   #1
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Hi, everyone! I'm Erika (30).. I'm married to my wonderful husband of 5 years (Chris) and mama to a 3 year old beautiful girl named Alexis. We live in upstate, NY!

I have made so many re-intros to this forum it's disgusting! Each time I say "I feel it... this is most DEFINITELY the TIME I'll do this".. and then I disappear, which means it definitely was NOT the time. ::sigh:: But, I shouldn't dwell on the past.... right? Just focus on this time?

LONG story short- I've been overweight my entire life. I've always been around 200-215 in my adult life, since maybe 18 years old. After 282628 attempts... I actually DID IT in 2003 and lost 90+ pounds (bringing me from 215 to 124) - I maintained that for a bit... and then certain circumstances (while none excuses, they still happened) caused me to gain.. marriage, a VERY stressful and long (8 months) immigration process to get my Holland-born husband here, a pregnancy, a mama who didn't cope with newbornhood so well, etc etc.

So, I'm here standing at 190 pounds. I 're-started' a few weeks ago and I've lost 4.4 pounds. It's a start!

I did this before- 90 pounds is a BIG THING I did. I said I would never regain that- and I cannot understand why I did it so well that time (it only took me a bit over a year on weight watchers) and I've struggled for 3 years to do it again. I've re-started a good 15 times. I've even lost 15.. only to fall off and land back in the beginning. So frustrating, especially when I know I've done this before and know HOW to do it.

I can sit here and say "this IS the time, I feel it"... and while I DO feel it, I've pretty much felt it each time. But I honestly have to do this. I remember what it felt like to be at 124 and I want to be there again. I need to do this to have more energy to run around with my daughter. I need to do this because I have high blood pressure. I need to do it because diabetes runs in my family. (I could go on for awhile).

So.. here I am. I'm going to stick around this time (do I say that every time, too).. no, really.. I will. I want this too bad right now. I'm looking forward to meeting you all!
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Old 09-08-2009, 09:50 AM   #2
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Welcome back, again!

Doesn't matter how many times you "restart" just as long as you stick with it. Reading what you wrote it was like reading my own life. Same deal here been around 200-215 most of my adult life. Lost weight, gained it back, then start another diet attempt, fall of wagon, climb back on, get knocked off again, repeat many times. Just stick with it honey, we can all do this, 'THIS TIME" !!

Stick around and join in the threads you'll find lots of great support.
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Old 09-08-2009, 09:53 AM   #3
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Hi Erika
I know exactly what you mean when you say that you feel it is the time but have felt that EVERY time! Every time it will be different but it eventually slips back to the same old poor habits. However what has changed for me this time is visualising what I will look like and how I will feel when I have got down to my target weight, and it really helps me get back on track when I am feeling weak willed.
I hope I manage it this time as I am sick of struggling to lose just a simple 20 pounds, especially when I see people on here who have lost over 100! Puts my efforts to shame!
Anyway, I hope we will be successful this time!
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Old 09-08-2009, 07:28 PM   #4
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Hi Erika and Welcome!!

I can identify with you as well. I lost 85lbs after my 2nd child was born and kept it off until baby #3 5 years later. I "kept" 15lbs from #3 and gained waaay to much with #4. Voila - 60lbs to loose again.

Like you - I KNOW how to do this. I'm not sure what the difference is this time. More kids, less time, I work from home now, so less structure - definitely older, on and on. Very frustrating!! I am still nursing our 4mo old so I waver back and forth with even trying until he is not depending so much on me for his nutrition.

Oh well, hang in there. We will all figure it out. Might consider keeping a journal or a blog. It helps me to look back and see patterns and such.

Looking forward to getting to know you better!!
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:16 AM   #5
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Hello!
Welcome back! Don't worry about the number of times you have tried in the past. Put your energy into what you are doing now to change. You can't control the past but you can control today
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Old 09-09-2009, 07:04 AM   #6
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Hi Erica and Welcome back! I too have "restarted" so many times but we will get there!

Have a fabulous day!
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Old 09-09-2009, 08:58 AM   #7
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Welcome!
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:55 PM   #8
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Welcome back I was like you gained and lost and gained and lost again, but this time am sticking with it. I am doing it for me and for no one else.
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Old 09-10-2009, 08:38 AM   #9
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Thank you all so much for the warm welcome! Although I wish no one was "in my spot".. I am glad everyone understands and I'm never alone. I'm looking forward to STAYING here this time!
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Old 09-10-2009, 08:55 PM   #10
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Welcome back! Just remember "If you never quit, you never fail..."
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Old 09-15-2009, 01:08 PM   #11
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Hi Erika! I am new here myself. Like you, I have played the yo-yo game. I truly do know that this time is going to be IT! We can all get this done together. It is so nice to know that there is a group of people dealing with the same struggles A year from now, we are going to look back and say - YES! I DID IT!!!!
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Old 09-15-2009, 01:26 PM   #12
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Welcome!!!!!!!
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