Having your spouse travel the journey with you is wonderful! It really helps!
I think the key to your whole post is your last sentence. Whatever you do, make this a lifestyle change. Pick a plan that you can do for the rest of your life. You already know the consequences of "dieting".
If this plan fits your lifestyle- great! Otherwise, keep shopping for a plan (reading here on 3FC is a great way to do that). The important thing is that it is a plan that YOU can stick to.
You CAN do this!!! I look forward to reading of your progress!