So its been a pretty devastating couple of days for me..
..right now I am home with a really bad cold that is messing with my asthma, so taking my breathing treatments....still tracking my points on the daily plate, and thankfully my friend brought me some home made beef veg barley soup, so that hit the spot.
BUT my vent is about a recent X-friend.....I happened to discover an email she had wrote, ABOUT me (not to me).......it was hideous.....we have always been very different, she shops for clothes about every day, has brand name purses and eats out almost every day....Im a more homebody, love to cook, and my shopping for clothes is on an as needed basis at Kmart, Target if Im feeling spunky, LOL
ANYWHO.....in the email she talked about how if I was so upset with my weight that I should "put up or shut up" .....that people should spend less time "wanting to be other people" and work at being better.....and that she tried to get me to walk with her on numerous occasions and i always had an excuse (which would mainly be embarassment, asthma, or sickness)....now I approached her with the issue of, "so you really think Im this lazy overweight chick who wont do anything about her current weight" and she just replies matter of factly, "well, yes".....to which I replied "well for future reference when you have a friend you think has problems you need to tell her that"..she said she was sorry that she didnt come to me but sh*t happens essentially and if I needed to talk she was there..and I said I no longer wished to have contact with her b/c she hurt me deeply.
Now while I feel utterly hurt and betrayed, I am even more determined to meet my goals to show people that I can do it, that I am a better person than that, and have better people around me to help me (like the person that made me the soup) than a girl that would talk behind my back about my faults. Oh and BTW while the bad friend was talking about my 'put up or shut up' problems, I have been actively choosing better foods, tracking calories on daily plate, and working on getting exercise in with my DH and my dog, but didnt tell other people that for fear of failure....
So I just wanted to get that out, and say that I am in this for the long haul, and NOTHING is going to keep my from my goal, not sickness, hurt, stress, NOTHING. AND anyone here that needs an ear or a shoulder to cry on, or that has something to add or advice or an opinion to give, I AM HERE WITH OPEN ARMS AND OPEN EARS. Thanks for listening.