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08-25-2009, 07:31 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 5,184
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Grandma Goes to Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
Last edited by SunshineCA; 08-25-2009 at 10:30 PM.
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08-25-2009, 09:08 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,149
S/C/G: 204/114/120
Height: 5'
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Funny !
Last edited by bargoo; 08-25-2009 at 09:10 PM.
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08-25-2009, 10:30 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 5,184
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08-25-2009, 11:23 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,434
Height: 5'9"
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08-25-2009, 11:28 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: midwest
Posts: 1,344
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Hee Hee.......you have the best jokes!!!!
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08-25-2009, 11:41 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 5,184
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Trust me, it's not me. It's my corny friends.
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09-07-2009, 07:43 AM
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#7
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Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 12
S/C/G: 308/308/140
Height: 5'1"
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That was too funny!
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09-07-2009, 10:53 AM
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#8
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Giving no Ground
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 268
S/C/G: 245/217/135
Height: 5'5"
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LOL, that was great!
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09-08-2009, 01:45 AM
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#9
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 5,184
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08-12-2010, 10:17 AM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Southwestern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 172
S/C/G: 249/237/190
Height: 5' 11"
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VERY FUNNY!!!
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08-16-2010, 03:14 PM
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#11
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Oakton, VA
Posts: 26
Height: 5 2"
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Good chuckle for the day. Thanks!
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11-12-2010, 06:58 AM
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#12
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I see the light....
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 35
S/C/G: 204.6/191.4/155
Height: 5'6"
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LMAO....... Love it!!!
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