I realize that it's only the second night I've been on my adventure, but I'm feeling pretty wonderful all the same. Sure, this sort of thing generally has a honeymoon period, but that fact alone means I should enjoy this all the more while I can, right? RIGHT!?
Okay, so here's the deal. Last night I was doing some thinking, and talking to my ex, and generally contemplating the choices I've made for... Well, EVER. I was thinking about all the times I've tried to lose weight, for this reason or that reason, to no avail. I think if you look into it, this is my third or fourth go around here on 3FC. At least when I decide I wanna lose weight, I know I like you guys!
Long story short(kind of), I ended up getting off my butt at 2AM last night and played on our Wii Fit for 26 minutes. It's a relatively short amount of time, I know, but I figure that this is probably best done in smaller steps, rather than trying to shove myself in all at once. I mean, I AM trying to change my life, here!
That's probably the biggest realization I made last night - If I'm going to lose the 50-60 pounds I need to lose, I really am going to have to change my life in that forever and ever sort of way, not the, "such-and-such event is coming so I wanna look good!" approach that I usually take. In my experience(and I've had more than I care to think about, considering I'm only 18), losing weight goes the best when I really feel committed to it, and usually when I decide to do it in a spur-of-the-moment sort of way. My last even remotely successful attempt was a year or two ago, and I lost seventeen pounds. Yes please!
So here I am again, 3FC, ready to get myself into this lifestyle change. I know better than to think it's gonna be easy, but I really want to make this happen this time. I really, really do. My mom had gastric bypass just a little over a year ago, and she looks fantastic. She just had her first round of plastic surgery, and I swear I have NEVER seen someone enjoy shopping the way she does. Ever. I want that SO badly, I can't begin to explain it. I don't even remember the last time I really ENJOYED shopping. Oh wait, yes I can. it was back when I lost that seventeen pounds I was talking about!
Here's the thing about my weight loss right now: I refuse to make it very public knowledge. What I'm really saying here is that you guys are the first to even know I'm on this particular rampage, and I intend to keep it that way for now. I usually go more public with my weight loss, but to be honest I don't think that's much of a good thing. Other people are paying attention to what I'm doing then, and it gives me an uncomfortable sensation of pressure to do well, and then I fail. I don't want all eyes on me this time, so I'm keeping this on the low down. I busted out the Wii Fit again at about 3:30 tonight, and played for 36 minutes - if you wanna call what I did playing, anyway. Those runs can be brutal! But I made myself do it, and I feel SO good. I know that the weird morning hours aren't really the best of options for exercising, but between the fact that nobody else in my house is up at that time, and it isn't crazy hot at that time... It's just what happens to work for the moment. I'll find a better schedule eventually. I promise!
Now that I've written an entire novel to you guys, I think I'm going to STOP. Considering it's 4AM and I'm supposed to go up and journal before I sleep... I should get going on that. This post is getting copied into a blog, because I need to have it to help me remember how good this feels when I'm struggling later!
Thanks for letting me ramble, everyone! Happy weight loss to you!
I Can't Believe How Good I Feel
