..... because when you say "I'm on a diet," it puts far too much attention on yourself. When you really want to skip the junk food you're offered at parties and don't want that kind of attention on yourself, what do you say?
I actually have a valid reason that has ended up being a godsend for me... I have a lot of "almost" cavities, so if I really work hard at avoiding sweets, I might be able to heal them up. Also, any candy hurts my teeth immensely (as does dried fruit) because it is so sugary and sticks to it. I can have cake and ice cream and other such really soft foods, but things like chocolate and gummy bars cause me agony. So as a result, I can't really eat any candy. So when I get offered candy at a party, I can just tell people, "No thank you, I can't eat candy. My teeth aren't good and it is really painful for me" and they leave me right alone. If I'd said, "No thanks I'm on a diet," I have a feeling they'd ask things like "Why?" and "Oh come on, take some anyway," but once I turn it into a medical problem (which it really is), they leave me right alone. But it did occur to me that could just be a valid excuse in general. Like someone could say, "I have bad teeth and can only have sweets once in a blue moon so I won't get cavities" and you'd be able to indulge once in a while without question but most of the time could thwart people off.
For non-sweets, I often say, "I just ate" or "I'm saving room for dinner," etc. What about you guys? What are some of your tried and true "reasons" for declining food offered at social occasions?
I'm not sure I'd give so much personal information! What's wrong with an upbeat "No thanks!" followed by a change of subject? I have never found it takes much more than that. Anyone that continues to push is rude, quite frankly.
If you eat healthy around people who aren't eating healthy, they can find it very threatening, I think. And people can be VERY pushy! I usually just say "No, thanks. I'm not hungry."
You're so right. The moment you tell someone that your on a diet, even if they love you, they want you to fail. I recently became a vegetarian so now I find it easier to turn people away. Most food offered has either meat (most main dishes) or eggs (cake) in them and as a vegetarian I really can't eat them and they don't even question it and leave me alone but when I use to tell them I am dieting they would not take no for an anwser.
Cheeky, what about salty snacks? They are my biggest downfall. It's tough to say no for the rest of your life, if this is really a lifestyle choice.
I know someone who went through WW about 6 years ago, has maintained all this time, but has the same food every single day for lunch. We tease her, and even when someone brought in a treat of baked goodies, she never took any. She finally started taking just one, saying she was going to give it to her DH and DS for their treat. I find it bothers me because if I've gone to the trouble of making something for my friends (we only bring in treats once or twice a month, and usually everyone only takes one cookie or one square), it's like a gift, you accept the gift graciously. Maybe it's my culture. It's like my brother in law, hefty guy, whenever they are over for one of the kids' birthday parties, he'd have this huge meal, double servings, then when it came to the birthday cake, he'd say he's trying to watch what he eats. Ya, right! Just a bite is all I ask, as a symbol that you are taking part in the celebration. If he was vegan, then I would try to accommodate, and have a small cake made without dairy, for him to enjoy as well.
Sorry for the rant, I hope this makes sense, and that I haven't offended anyone.
I disagree on this one. I don't think a bite of food should *have* to be a symbol of you taking part in the celebration. Why does food have to be something more than what it is - fuel? The reason so many people have weight issues is that we view food as more than fuel, and it leads to eating for the wrong reasons. If you viewed smoking as a symbol of taking part in a celebration, would you consider it rude for someone not to partake in a cigarette? It is harmful to your body, just as processed foods can be harmful to your body, so people should have a right to refuse. I think by saying that someone should be obligated to take a bite, that's just kind of perpetuating that attitude. Some people *can't* just stop at one bite and it would start a binge cycle. But then again, that's just my opinion.
GLChick, I'm not offended, but it may very well be that cookies, cakes and that sort of thing is a trigger food for your friend. There are some things that if you eat one you start to crave more and more. If you know she won't eat that sort of thing maybe make a veggie platter with a really good low fat dip and bring in instead. Or you could bring the cookies and then a smaller platter of veggies to show you're thinking of her as well.
Look at it like this, if she brought in something that you couldn't eat for whatever reason, would you want her to get upset because you didn't take just one little bite anyways? I grew up in the South and food was a big deal, so I get exactly what you're talking about, however now that I'm having to work my butt off literally to get healthy, I understand that food is fuel for my body not an activity per se. That's not to say that I never eat cake or cookies or whatever, but those things don't trigger my cravings to eat more and more of them either.
Now, the BIL, that's a whole other thing. I have a friend who does the same type of thing, always talking about how she eats in moderation, etc. but eats massive amounts of food and then tries to act like she eats nothing and is watching what she eats..................it's soooo irritating as she's always giving me "advice" on how to eat, when she's steady finding the weight I've lost!
I will use a similar situation I deal with once a month. Every month our church has a birthday pot luck. Everyone brings something to pass, side dishes, main courses and desserts. I am very careful about what I pick and mostly fill up on my dish because I know the calorie counts, I completely avoid the dessert tables and lots of other dishes. Sometimes I just don't eat. To me the potluck is more about the talking and spending time with people from church, not about food. If anyone happens to ask or say something (which is very rare) I just say "no thank you, I'm fine"
Celebrations to me have never been about the food, usually its just an after thought. My husband and I don't do cake for our birthdays, in my family growing up we couldn't afford a lot of foods for parties so we really just used it as time to spend together.
I would hate to think that someone would be offended simply because I didn't have a bite of cake or a cookie, it says nothing about that person that I am not interested in that food, it just says that I don't really want cake or a cookie.
I have started saying a simple, "No, thank you." If pushed, I say "I am sorry, but I just can't have that."
GLChick, one bite of some foods will start a craving for me. Would you really want to start a craving for someone who has a serious problem with food? I doubt it.
Quote:
GLChick originally posted: I find it bothers me because if I've gone to the trouble of making something for my friends (we only bring in treats once or twice a month, and usually everyone only takes one cookie or one square), it's like a gift, you accept the gift graciously.
Most gifts you do accept graciously, but some you just can't. The giver of the gift also needs to be gracious and understanding in considering the needs of their friends.
Most gifts you do accept graciously, but some you just can't. The giver of the gift also needs to be gracious and understanding in considering the needs of their friends.
That's so right on.
My husband and I have turned down gifts from people who have given us things like bottles of wine, champagne or liquor. We don't drink, we don't feel that we should graciously accept something that we will not even have in our home.
So goes the sames with things I can't/won't eat for some reason, why graciously accept something that I can't eat, won't eat, or know may make me fall into a binge.
Cheeky, what about salty snacks? They are my biggest downfall. It's tough to say no for the rest of your life, if this is really a lifestyle choice.
I know someone who went through WW about 6 years ago, has maintained all this time, but has the same food every single day for lunch. We tease her, and even when someone brought in a treat of baked goodies, she never took any. She finally started taking just one, saying she was going to give it to her DH and DS for their treat. I find it bothers me because if I've gone to the trouble of making something for my friends (we only bring in treats once or twice a month, and usually everyone only takes one cookie or one square), it's like a gift, you accept the gift graciously. Maybe it's my culture. It's like my brother in law, hefty guy, whenever they are over for one of the kids' birthday parties, he'd have this huge meal, double servings, then when it came to the birthday cake, he'd say he's trying to watch what he eats. Ya, right! Just a bite is all I ask, as a symbol that you are taking part in the celebration. If he was vegan, then I would try to accommodate, and have a small cake made without dairy, for him to enjoy as well.
Sorry for the rant, I hope this makes sense, and that I haven't offended anyone.
I can see both sides of this discussion.
Food is viewed differently in the US than it is in other parts of the world. I personally, think (aside from out broken food system) that our unhealthy view of food in the US is a problem. Food=Guilt to most people in the US. Guilt can bring all sorts of vicious emotions into eating. Add in the fact that healthy food is not the norm here and you have a "recipe" for disaster (health and weight wise--no pun intended with the recipe bit.)
Not taking food is not considered rude in the US, unless the giver is from another culture. I have seen people from other countries take offense when someone doesn't eat what they made for them. Should they be offended? I don't know. There's so much history and cultural attitudes to take into account and food can be a very personal thing.
When I'm at major celebrations I do have cake (weddings and birthdays mainly.) Do I eat all of it? No, because portions are out of control here. That said, if I'm not hungry, I'm not going to force myself to eat either.
I think a simple, "No, thank you" should suffice in most situations. If you personally feel it's appropriate to decline.
Brother in law had just eatten 2 servings of everything at the dinner table. He had no medical condition, and did not give me an inkling that he was watching his weight until dessert. I would definitely not give someone, who I knew didn't drink, a bottle of alcohol as a gift. I also wouldn't force someone to smoke. But both of these are prominent in certain cultures. I grew up in a home where there was always too much food put on the table, and it was all expected to be eaten. Otherwise we'd hear "Why, ... don't you like it?". So for me it's a cultural thing, but this forum is definitely educating and enlightening me on different perspectives.
My friend is truly disciplined about what she puts in her mouth, like I said, same foods for lunch every day of the week, for years, to the point of obsessiveness. I know that she has indulged on a rare occasion in the past during family celebrations, but it didn't cause her to binge and fall off the wagon, her weight hasn't moved since I've known her. But next time I bring goodies, I may be bringing my famous Winter Energy Cookies, which are super filling, and full of healthy stuff, sometimes eaven eaten for breakfast, or DDs have one before their games.
Try not to be offended even if she turns down something that is healthier. I am really picky about what I eat. Like I said with the pot lucks, I put what I bring on my plate first because I know exactly what it is. I am a food weigher and make sure that things are what they should be when I make them. Lots of people assume a cup of sugar is a cup of sugar, but a cup of sugar can be extremely different for 2 different people, depending on how they measure.
The only things I eat at the pot lucks that aren't mine are vegetable based salads with no dressings or sauces, fruits that are not sugar covered ( i have my husband test them), and things I specifically have the recipe for made by a lady who is on weight watchers, because I know that she weighs everything and knows exactly how many calories are in it, and is great about knowing exactly what a portion size looks like, she can tell me how many portions I have on my plate just by looking at. I hear a lot that "such and such" dish is very healthy, but I just wont do it, because its my body that its going into and I want to protect what I have achieved so far and keep going at it how I feel comfortable doing it.
My husband often indulges at the pot lucks even though he is on a diet but it works for him. Also with my medications for my thyroid I need to be a bit more careful about certain foods .
As far as the getting alcohol for gifts, those people honestly probably didnt know at the time that we didn't drink. Its not something I tell everyone I meet, mostly because most other people we know don't drink either. I never felt bad turning it down, and have never had the impression that the gift giver was offended.
My friend is truly disciplined about what she puts in her mouth, like I said, same foods for lunch every day of the week, for years, to the point of obsessiveness. I know that she has indulged on a rare occasion in the past during family celebrations, but it didn't cause her to binge and fall off the wagon, her weight hasn't moved since I've known her.
Why do you begrudge her her routines? Whatever it is that she's doing seems to be working for her since she's been maintaining for, what, 6 years? I have two lunches I make and I rarely if ever bring anything else unless it's leftovers of something. I don't consider myself obsessive in a bad way. I wish I had her willpower to not indulge in the things that get brought into the office.
I think many of us have a few staple breakfasts and lunches that we cycle between. It's dinner that I try to keep exciting. It's too much work to figure out how to make more exciting lunches for the same calories, and sine I'm eating them at work, it's not like I'm really savoring them...
I'm glad that you're going to stop encouraging your co-worker to go off her maintenance plan. I hope that you'll stop teasing her about her boring lunches, too.
Best excuses to not indulge...
What's wrong with an upbeat "No thanks!" followed by a change of subject? I have never found it takes much more than that. Anyone that continues to push is rude, quite frankly.
