I had a really hard time with the weight loss this past week; it was just one of those weeks where despite perfect diet and exercise, I didn't lose much. So to remind myself that I have made some progress, I posted progress pictures in the mini-goal photo album.
They're here, if you are curious. Sometimes it really does take a photograph to remind ourselves that we're making real changes, despite how we might feel about ourselves on a particular day. I am harder on myself than most people would ever be, so I need that reminder a lot!
Today's a better day, though. I am really self-conscious about my arms because they're disproportionately large, but this morning I dared myself to wear a super-cute (size medium!) top that is perfect -- except for the tiny, barely-there cap sleeves. I'm still really self-conscious about my arms, but three people have commented on how nice I look today, so I guess I should stop worrying about it so much. Easier said than done, but I'm working on it.
You'd think after three years of slooooow weight loss I would be over most of my insecurities, but I'm just now starting to feel 'normal'. I looked in the mirror last week while in the middle of changing, so I was down to a bra and underwear, and I thought, "Huh, I actually look normal." A week before that I glanced in the mirror while in the bathroom at work and thought, "Wow, I am sort of pretty." That's the first time I've
ever thought that about myself, I'm sad to say.
So I guess I'm making more progress than I realized. It's...nice. Strange, but nice. (And I haven't even put on my emergency arm-covering sweater yet today, even when I knew I was going to run into the guy at work I have a crush on.)
I'm not really sure I have a point, but thanks for listening anyway.