[Star2Be]

Hello, everyone! This is somewhat random, but I read something today that really struck me when I thought about it in terms of my weight loss, and I just felt like sharing with you all. Just for a bit of background: I went through some really tough times during my last quarter of school - just extremely stressed and panicky, verging on clinical depression, to be perfectly honest - and near the beginning of this quarter, my mom (who I LOVE) gave me a copy of this book. It's basically just a book of meditations for getting through/moving on from hard stuff, with a page for every calendar day of the year that gives you a different "message" to think about each day. It is by no means a perfect book--sometimes the language used is a bit hippy-dippy for me, and it occasionally focuses very heavily on finding strength through religion, which isn't helpful for me personally since I am an atheist/agnostic. However, in spite of its flaws, many of the messages in this book have been very valuable to me, and really just make me THINK, so I am so grateful to have it.

Each page starts with a quote, then a little message, and then at the bottom an "affirmation"-type thing, i.e. something to keep in mind or repeat to yourself throughout the day. The page for today (May 5th) says:

"...it is a peaceful thing to be one succeeding." --Gertrude Stein

Success is at hand. While we read these words, we are experiencing it. At this very instant, our commitment to recovery is a sign of success, and we feel peace each time we let go of our struggle, turning to another for help, for direction. Because we strive only for perfection, we recognize nothing less; we block our awareness of the ordinary successes that are ours again and again. Thus, the serenity the program promises us eludes us. But we are succeeding. Every day that we are abstinent, we succeed.

We can think of the times - perhaps only yesterday - when we listened to a friend in need, or finished a task that was nagging at us. Maybe we made an appointment to begin a project we've been putting off. Success is taking positive action, nothing more.

Many of us, in our youth, were taught that success only came in certain shapes and sizes. And we felt like failures. We need new definitions; it' time to discard the old. Luckily for us, the program offers us new ones.

[Bottom of page:] Every person, every situation, can add to my success today. My attitude can help someone else succeed, too.

I don't think I have to go into all the details of why this was so meaningful to me... I don't want to clutter it up with too much of my own personal interpretation; I'd rather let you all take it for what it means to you, personally, and how this message relates to your own WL journey (or any other kind of struggle you might have!). I hope it might mean as much to someone else on here as it did to me, because for some reason, it just really touched me.

[shrinkingleah]

That really does make me think about all the ways I am suceeding, not just in the scale moving downwards, but the way I really do feel at peace when I come back home from walking 1.5 miles or from an hour of pure cardio at the gym. The way I feel peace when I choose to make myself something healthy that makes me feel good.

I feel like when I do something positive for myself, I'm creating a noticable happiness that can't be ignored by others. I'm suceeding at this dispite what other people say/do/think. It may be hard for me, being a young mother, recovering from an ACL replacment. I can't make excuses for why I can't do something.

I must achieve my goal. I cannot live any other way then striving to be better, stronger, happier, healthier.

Thanks, Meredith.