[slfmda]

Hello!

I am new to OA, today is my 11th day on HOW. I have been following it pretty well. I do have some concerns and maybe they aren't big issues, and I just need to let them go, but maybe I am doing something wrong and someone can help me?

-I know that a cucumber and a tomato equals one vegetable according to my sponsor. For lunch, I eat two cucumbers and two tomatoes for my 2 cups of vegetables. This is a lot, it fills me up, and I like it. But I am worried I am cheating because it feels like so much food.

-In between meals I am chewing a lot of gum and drinking a lot of tea. It isn't like this during the week, when I am busy, but on the weekend I have noticed that I am putting a lot more in my mouth by way of water, tea, gum, and hard candy (sugar-free). Any thoughts?

-I started drinking a lot of Diet Coke. I have read that when you drink Diet Coke, you feel like you can fill up on other things. I hope this isn't true, but I think I should stop with the Diet Coke anyways because I drank 2 liters of it by myself in the past day.

-I am obsessed with food. I know this is part of why I go to OA, but I now watch food shows on YouTube all the time. I am always always thinking about food. I haven't cheated, but I would like to think about something else too.

-This morning, I accidentally ate 20g more of protein than I was supposed to. I picked the wrong container of yogurt. Is this a slip? I am worried that I am beginning to cut corners, and I haven't even been doing this for all that long. I think I am sticking to the program, but I am getting stressed out because I feel like every time I eat I have done something wrong, especially when I feel full. I noticed that I haven't been hungry either. I eat, and then I get full, and then I eat probably 5-6 hours later for my next meal. I am rarely hungry.

-I have been feeling incredibly guilty all the time! I know I am new to this, but not weighing myself is stressing me out. Sometimes I feel comfortable about how I am doing with the plan, I can see I look a little bit better, I like knowing in advance what I will be eating. But what is a gray area? I mean, I feel like I have made mistakes already, and my sponsor is telling me I'm doing okay, but I don't feel like I am. Did anyone lose weight in their first month? Did you struggle with feeling like you were just going through the motions without really growing or healing compulsive eating?

-I haven't been doing daily readings. I actually don't have either the Big Book, the 12 and 12, or the For Today book. I ordered them and I am waiting. Will this help me? Even though I started working through the questions, it doesn't seem like I'm really on a treatment plan.

Anyways, I feel good to get all of my doubts out. If anyone has any advice, or answers, I would definately appreciate them! Thanks so much! And this is a great forum, I have been checking it for a few weeks now, I finally became a member!

[patd]

Hello, I commend you for your honesty. That is the first principle of this program.

I know that the books you have ordered will help you with the program. Right now you are focused on the physical part of the program as I read your post anyway, for me that was normal to focus on that as when I came into program I wanted to lose weight Yesterday!

Remember the program is like a 3 legged stool, physical, spiritual, and emotional. they all need attention for me daily if I'm to stay upright sitting on my stool. Your sponsor should be able to help you with all three.

I do not do the HOW plan so I'm not help with the choices of food or amounts. Hopefully someone else will come along and be able to help you with that.

I welcome you and if there's anything I can do to help please feel free to ask me and if I can I will.

"Abstinence is a gift and for today, it is my choice to live in this gift of
freedom."

hugs
patd

[tommy]

It is hard to do everything at once. Get a handle on the food plan, start to use the other tools especially calling others, and relax. Freaking out because you find out later on that there was a dash of sugar in something or that your food scale was a bit off will not cause the sky to fall on you. I immediately was less bloated and felt good, and was not hungry.

The sugar free gum/candy, and drinks can be an issue. Some people start using them just to get through the day and later move them out as they re-define their abstinence.

I see the program as no longer making food our "higher power" and substituting a real "higher power". Taking the power away from food includes losing the guilt and shame about eating healthy things, loving the body we were given and treating it with respect, and most of all for me losing the 24/7 obsession. Keep talking, reading, and going to meetings. You will find peace.