What if that's it? What if it just doesn't happen? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

choirgirlhotel · 04-09-2009, 08:26 PM

So, probably for the first time in my weight loss journey, I lay on my bed last night and thought - what if it just doesn't happen?

I have been struggling with my weight since gaining a total of 65 lb since starting on antidepressants (over a 10-year period). I have been OFF antidepressants for one year and four months now.

I am currently 167 lb (the last time I checked two weeks ago) and my goal is 135 lb (the weight I maintained with no problem before going on antidepressants).

I have been working so hard to lose the weight, and every time I look in the mirror I am so depressed and disappointed. But I have always had hope that ONE DAY, ONE MAGICAL DAY, I will reach my goal weight.

Last night was the first time I ever thought "maybe it just won't happen". Maybe my body is so screwed up from all the years of antidepressants that it has changed my metabolism permanently and I will be this weight forever???????

~Choirgirl~

Devsmama · 04-09-2009, 08:42 PM

Nothing lasts forever, nothing. You will reach your goal, but it won't be a "magical day" it will be a continuation of the hard work that you have been putting in. You will get there. Don't let that stuff cloud your thinking.

Tool · 04-09-2009, 08:52 PM

Look how far you have come! You CAN do it. I did the exact same thing you did. Laying in bed, thinking to myself.. What if. I think on those days I just felt stressed or I didn't get something I craved and I ended up cranky.

You have done it so far. You can do it. You will do it.

learningtoliveagain · 04-09-2009, 08:57 PM

It will happen, just don't let a few fleeting thoughts discourage you. You've already lost more than half of what you want to lose. You will do it.

choirgirlhotel · 04-09-2009, 09:09 PM

I guess why I am scared is because my weight has just sort of sat in this range for years now. I have half-heartedly tried since 2005 to lose and seemed to lose the first 35-40 lb very easily. Now I'm stuck, and afraid.

~Choirgirl~

newleaf123 · 04-09-2009, 09:14 PM

But the key words are "half-heartedly". This time you're not half-hearted, are you? You're going full force, right? With a fully committed effort, you'll make your goal, I'm sure of it!

If you're stuck, try shaking things up a little. Try eating different foods, or a different amount of food. Try exercising longer or harder or doing a different exercise. Stay committed and stay the course. You'll get there; you've done great so far!

kaplods · 04-09-2009, 09:22 PM

I've been overweight or obese nearly all of my life (since age 5). And every time I ever quit a diet, it was because I felt or feared that I would never make it to my goal weight.

The closest I came was in high school (I had weighed 225 and was given prescription diet pills at 13, right before starting high school). I lost 70 lbs, and weighed 155 lbs. It was getting really tough, though and by junior year my weight wasn't budging. My doctor lowered my goal weight to 145, and I just sort of mentally collapsed. I figured if I was finding it so difficult to get to 150 - there was no way I'd ever be able to lose another 10 lbs. And I stopped dieting that DAY. I just figured there was "no use even trying anymore."

What stupidity. I'll cut myself some slack since I was only 16 or so, but still. What kind of craziness is it to think that only perfection counted.? It would have been better to say "the heck with 145, I'm happy with a goal of 150 or even 155.

If I never lose another pound, it doesn't undo or discount what I've done so far. Maybe I can't get to 155, but I don't worry about that - I just look at the next few pounds, and I remind myself that even when I can't lose, I can maintain.

The thing is, I think I WILL get to my goal weight - it may take 10 years, but I'm pretty sure I am going to get there.

You can borrow tomorrow's troubles, or you can deal with today's. You don't have to worry about the next 27 lbs, you only have to deal with the next 1 - and then the next 1......

I find it a lot less stressful that way.

Horo · 04-09-2009, 09:32 PM

If you tell yourself that it's not going to happen, it won't. You have to tell yourself that it WILL happen, tell yourself this repeatedly if you have to- and I promise that you will find a way.
It can happen. You have the power to make it happen. The rest depends on what you decide to do.

JulieJ08 · 04-09-2009, 09:38 PM

I think if you aren't losing weight over many, many months, you have to take a hard look at what you are and aren't doing, and what you're willing to do, or even what you're willing to try. I think you've proven to yourself that half-hearted efforts take you so far and then no further.

Have you found healthy ways of eating and moving that you can live with, and in fact enjoy, for the rest of your life? I might be wrong, but I'm not getting that vibe. I think I'd still be struggling and unhappy if I hadn't found motivation in myself to live this way, regardless of my weight. If each choice came down to trying to resist something I craved because I dislike myself - vs wanting to change and grow because I like myself - well, I wouldn't last long. It's about choices that feel like gifts to myself instead of like I'm depriving myself.

choirgirlhotel · 04-09-2009, 09:57 PM

Maybe I'm in denial, because I just don't think I have an eating problem - ANYMORE.

While I was on antidepressants and gaining weight, I will chalk it up 50% to the medication and 50% what/how much I was eating. However, before that I never had any problem with eating, I never ate that much junk or ate when I was depressed or sad, etc. I kept a weight of between 120-130 lb. I just felt like I had normal eating habits.

When I was on medication all of a sudden all I could think about was food, I ate huge volumes and didn't care what I ate.

But now I feel I'm exactly back to where I was before the medication - I eat normally, I don't binge, I don't eat crap and I don't eat too much. I was eating a healthy diet of about 1600-1800 calories and working out and not losing anything. So I started working out more and two weeks ago took the calories down to 1300. I haven't weighed myself since.

This weekend it really struck me when I went away and I was with my very, very, very thin girlfriend (who is naturally thin) and the whole weekend she kept commenting - "you don't eat much do you" and she kept encouraging me to eat. I was like - "I KNOW RIGHT????"

To me it seems with what I eat, and how much I exercise, losing weight shouldn't be such a problem. But it is! That's why I am scared maybe my metabolism is permanently screwed up. That's where the fear comes in.

Thank you ALL by the way, for your thoughts. It's helping me work through things.

~Choirgirl~

PS - JulieJ08 - yes, the 1600-1800 calories was a healthy way of eating that I'm used to and enjoy and could do for the rest of my life.

Thighs Be Gone · 04-09-2009, 10:00 PM

Hey, you have had amazing success thus far. 167 is pretty smokin' if you ask me. Don't think about what if!!!

I posted this on another thread the other night but I will say it again here since it's applicable. You are going on a wonderful vacation. As you drive, drive and drive you finally get a glimpse of gorgeous blue water. You keep driving towards the blue water. Why stop at the 7-11? Why go back to the interstate? Before you left did you consider all the stinky reststops or the possibility of a flat tire? Of course not!

You are seeing the blue water--surely at this point you have at least gotten a glimpse. KEEP ON DRIVING!

choirgirlhotel · 04-09-2009, 10:25 PM

I guess what I want to specifically ask/know is - has there ever been a case where someone obviously NEEDS to lose 30 lb more, but the body just won't lose it and they will have to stay 30 lb overweight forever? Is this possible?

sindy9001 · 04-09-2009, 10:30 PM

I hope one day you can reach your goal, don't be disappointed. I think you need to do some lose weight plans, what you have to do is abide you plan, then you will gain a good result.

Thighs Be Gone · 04-09-2009, 10:44 PM

choir, I have never heard of that happening..maybe you need to revisit your calorie intake and lower it--or start doing something differently activity wise--have you considered seeing a nutritionist?? how do you feel about increasing your goal just for the time to say--150--you can always visit it again later..

kaplods · 04-09-2009, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by choirgirlhotel

I guess what I want to specifically ask/know is - has there ever been a case where someone obviously NEEDS to lose 30 lb more, but the body just won't lose it and they will have to stay 30 lb overweight forever? Is this possible?

Yes (if the person isn't willing to change their behavior any further), and no (if they're willing to take it further - moving more and eating less). There are a lot of people who find they aren't willing to do what it will take to lose the last 5, 10, 20, 50, 200....... lbs (it's a decision I made for several years). That's their right and their decision to make, but could they have gone further? Yes - you can always lose "more" by cutting calories more and/or expending more calories in excercise. There is no point at which a person just "can't lose, no matter what they do," (it would come in handy in countries where famine and starvation is common). If you eat less, and move more you will lose weight (it's alot more complicated, and yet just as simple as that). Will there come a point at which you aren't willing to eat less or move more? Only you can make that decision.