Ok, so this is really strange. But I have to share with someone, and you will understand!
I'm feeling really good today, because I went out and bought a half-dozen pairs of XXL workout pants and a couple new baggier shirts.
Up until now, I've been refusing to buy new workout stuff, since I already have an entire dresser full of XL black pants and tops ranging from tanks to long-sleeved (for running). I've also got a whole bunch of running shorts and tights. Every single piece of this exercise clothing was purchased at least 2 years ago, before I moved in with my guy and gained 50 pounds.
I've been running outside in this ill-fitting clothing (which hasn't been too bad) but we recently joined a gym and I've been pulling and tugging my way through workouts. Because of the materials they're made from, I've been able to convince myself that these clothes still sort-of "technically" fit (meaning I can put them on and make them cover me in the mirror - but as soon as I start moving and grooving, the shirts creep up and the pants creep down, etc). NOT a smart choice - I've been spending mornings on the treadmill paranoid that the person behind me is grossed out by my exposed skin, and I've spent more time pulling my shirt down or my pants up than I want to think about!
I started out with the classic dieter's refrain - "it doesn't matter if they don't fit now...they'll fit soon and there's no reason to buy others!" And, of course, we know all too well that the much more likely thing is that I'm going to associate feeling badly about the stupid clothes with feeling badly about the gym, and stop going! So, I finally decided to bite the bullet and invest in some clothes that actually fit, so I can focus on the workout and not on my appearance!
I don't think I've ever felt so good about buying "fat clothes" - in a big way, this is kind of proof to myself that this is worth it and that it's much more important to be comfortable and enjoy myself at the gym, than it is to worry about what the silly girl at wal-mart thinks about my 2X pants (since, CLEARLY, no one can see I'm overweight if I keep wearing too-small XLs, right?)
Why is it that we delude ourselves in this way? Well-fitting clothes, whether it's a business suit or workout gear, always looks better and makes us feel better, than ill-fitting, too-small stuff. And yet I'm sure we've all done it at one time or another - this is just the first time I've ever felt GOOD instead of guilty about buying a bigger size. Because it's all part of the bigger picture, and part of taking care of myself is to wear clothes that fit and feel good, regardless of what the tag says.
Good for you, Rock Chalk! To me, it signifies that you are serious! You're completely right--why would you continue to work out in too-small clothes? And really, how much does it cost to have workout clothes that fit? Not that much!
And by the way: Checkers at stores just do not care what size your clothes are. You are not the first buyer of 2X they have seen, and you will not be the last!
You know, I don't think it's a coincidence that two months after I gave in and bought nice, cute clothes to fit the size I had become at my highest weight, and started grooming and looking better every day, I changed my life and started losing and getting healthy.
I always feel sooo much better when I buy new exercise clothes! There's something that just makes you get a spring in your steps on your first workout wearing something new! Congrats on buying something new! You'll feel so much better and can focus more on your workout!
i love buying new sports bras. (is that weird?) going through the old ones makes me feel like i'm doing something right (even if it's a little hard on the girls.) :P
(by the way, chalk, where did you get your weight-loss avatar thing?)
I don't think it's weird success at all. I think you are investing in yourself, and by doing so you are more likely to do other good, self-care things for yourself.
I had a similar experience a while back. I have gained back 20 pounds and kept wearing this pair of jeans that was clearly now too small for me (and scared to wash and dry them and have them shrink further). It was kind of empowering to admit to myself I needed new ones and own up to the fact that I am no longer a size 12 (more like a size 16).
I can relate to this. For me, it's like letting go of the denial and just looking at things as they really are. After all, it's hard to solve a problem that doesn't exist...
Also, I know what you mean about being comfortable at the gym. I have recently started going to the university gym (I hate the gym!), and being comfortable in my own skin makes it so much easier to focus on the workout and not on my (delusional) belief that everyone is staring at me.
Way to go! You will be out of those clothes in no time. And if you think buying them is empowering, wait until you give them away!
Yes, I too had to go thru an acceptance that I was fat, obese, and needed to get healthy, but Looking Good is important even when we are fat and obese. We are still human, and want to look good, look our best at times.
That includes working out.
Good for you. You are on your way now!!!
Thanks for all the support, guys! Glad to know I'm not crazy - I like the idea that I'm just letting go of the denial and just taking care of myself. (After all, it's hard to get rid of fat if I'm still pretending it's not there!)
As far as the weight loss model - it's from the "my virtual model" site (www.mvm.com) You enter your height/weight and adjust some specs to make it best match yourself (face/hair, body shape, bust proportions, etc). Then you can select the "weight loss" model and enter your goal weight. (You can then right-click and save and stick them on the same image, and size it down to fit the avatar field).
I haven't been 135 pounds since I was about 11-12 years old - this model gives me a pretty fair assessment of what I might look like when I reach goal. (I've gotta admit, the 240 lb image is pretty darn accurate to my current shape! So I'm hoping the 100-lb-lighter option will be equally close!)
Wierd success - empowered by BUYing fat clothes?
It doesnt matter about the clothes it matters that you are there to get healthier! Great job!!! 
Congrats on buying something new! You'll feel so much better and can focus more on your workout! 
