I saw my my WLS surgeon (12-05-08) and talked to him, he says that unless I can lose 75 pounds by myself he will want to do the duodenal switch which he swears would be more effective at my size and which my insurance is more likely to pay for. I also found out that my insurance may demand three 6 month monitored diets, I am half way through the 1st 6 months. I have dieted before but never with monitoring and as far as my knees are concerned I dont have another 15 months before I end up in a chair at any size I can get to on my own.
I really seem hung up on the scar, which is weird cause just about every inch of my body from the neck down has stretch marks and some bad ones but no major scars. I think I am thinking about that because it is a less important issue and I can think about it and not the stuff that really matters.
People mention that I could die doing this, but at this size if I end up unable to walk I will only get bigger and for me that IS a death sentence, to some extent litterally.
A lot of this is stuff I really can't do anything about, I HAVE to have the surgery, there will be a scar, I will not look how I have pretty much looked for the last 25 years but if I keep going with the knee pain I will just get older and older looking from the pain anyway and not being able to walk is not all that hot either.
I believe honestly that i deserve respect and love at any size, I dont hate myself at this size now even though I am about 445, and it blows some people away to know I would not be interested in doing this if I was not being crippled by my weight.