I can't believe I am only just thinking of this. However, this realization, this epiphany is really really helping me already.
The truth is, we can't put the burden of losing weight on someone else. We can ask our spouses and friends to help us, to encourage us, to steer us in the right direction. However, we can't rely on these other people to do the work for us, thus resenting or blaming them when we fail.
The power to change, the will to change, the WORK to change must be done by us alone. We are on our own late at night when we want to snack, early in they day when we are home alone with our children. We need to have the strength and willingness to catch ourselves before we binge. I am responsible for me. I want to say that again. I am responsible for me.
So, while I can ask my spouse for help, I can't put the weight on his shoulders. It isn't my friend's job to ask me to go walking. I can't blame friend's or my spouse when I don't do what I know I should. I will make decisions to eat healthy and walk and change because the person gaining the most should be the one working the hardest. I am going to work harder for myself because I am worth it!
Its hard not to blame anyone else.. For me I wanted to blame my boyfriend because he always supplied fast food every night and would complain if I were to leave to go to the gym... But lately I have learned to say "too bad for you." lol
Very inspiring, only good things come when we embrace accountability for our own actions. This is applicable in all aspects of our lives, our health being one of the most important areas. Thanks for sharing.
I would love if my husband was interested in fitness/health, but he's just not. That's not an excuse for me not to keep to my goals, though. So I go it alone! Onward!
It's definitely true that my weight loss/maintenance and my health are fully my responsibility. However, I also appreciate the fact that what I do with my weight and health has a huge impact on the people around me--such as my husband, my kids, and my mom. They are healthier because I am taking responsibility and being healthier.
My husband and I have a nice balance of giving each other permission to not be perfect, and also reminding each other of what our goals are. Pretty frequently one of us will say, at 10 pm, "I'm hungry!" and the other gets to wag a finger and say, "No eating!" Then we mock-grumble and move on. Or, we will just talk about how better and worse food choices affect us; example, he went out with a friend on Saturday and was kind of forced into a position where he had to eat a not-very-good choice, simply because that's all that was available. Then he came home and playfully accused me of forever ruining him on being able to eat places that have crappy food
So yeah, I'm responsible, but I'm also living in a community and we're responsible for each other.
I think it's hard for my husband because he eats whatever he wants, huge huge portions and is physically fit, well within his weight range and has a clean bill of health. Some people can just do that. He is a late night snacker too. However, I'm three days snacking sober. Haha.
I had this realization myself fairly recently and amazingly it's been like a huge weight off my shoulders..who'da thunk?
It's me, it's all me and I can be as selfish as I want in this journey. I don't have to wait for someone to be ready to exercise with me or ready to eat salads with me or anything else. The great thing about is that I can take the steps to achieve MY goal whenever I feel like it. I make the healthy choices and I don't have to "share" my success!
I've found weight loss to be a very solo act. My family was and continues to be very supportive. But the truth is, I'm the one who's doing all the work - planning, shopping, chopping, dicing, cooking, cleaning it up, exercising, resisting temptation day in and day out, making the good choices. It's not easy and really no one can do it for me, but ME. I am responsible for what I put in my mouth and what I don't. I am responsible for choosing to be active - or for not. No one to blame for anything - good or bad - but me.
I'm thrilled for you for having this realization. It's very liberating. Taking responsibility for ones health is huge and I think this may be the beginning of very good things for you.
And just think- you'll be the one waking up in that slender body and walking around with it wearing those gorgeous clothes, full of energy and self confidence. And you'll be the one going to bed at night knowing that you have done your part to ensure a healthy you.
I had an epiphany!
